Mom Is Teaching

I’ve always found this next little thought to be nothing but true true true.  I’ve taught in over 6 schools, I was a student in 3 schools and I’ve been in and out of my son’s school over a dozen times already, but the fact in all these cases that reigns supreme is this:

THE SCHOOL SECRETARY AS QUEEN

I’ve found this to be true in every school I’ve been inside.  If I needed to, I could sit here and give you endless examples of how this is true, but I’m going to savor just a couple for you, ok?  Remember, the idea came from The White Trash Mom’s Handbook by Michelle Lamar and Molly Wendland, not me…I’m just about to tell you how well I know it is true.

Outside the normal things that the school secretary knows, such as where to find extra paper towels, how to find an extra shirt for little Johnny who just spilled milk on himself and clothes can be located absolutely no where and the fact that she has a camera over her desk with 6 frames that basically shows her what is going on in ever part of the building, The WTM Handbook tells you a few other reasons why the secretary reigns supreme.

• She has been at the school for a hundred years

My father taught the school secretary in this very school in 1972.  She has been there when the building had half as much space as it does now.  So, yes, she’s been there for a hundred years.

• She knows everyone and everything about everyone at the school

After all, she is the one that looks at each child’s registration papers, she see’s the address where the child lives (and by living in this area her whole life, she knows exactly how to get to that particular address without blinking an eye).  She has access to any names on the pick-up list even if some of those names are not related to the child or have no reason to pick up the child other than mother or father one has deemed them a “close friend” and it simply works for them.  She knows the real truth behind who is married to who, who lives with who and who has custody of the kids on what days and nights.

• She is powerful

This one is serious.  In many situations she has the authority to make a decision that might otherwise be reserved for an administrator.  Exactly what am I talking about?  If you read my post about my child’s absences from school being tagged unexcused, you will remember that the school secretary called me and used every innuendo in the book to try to get me to talk to the principal and basically beg her to over-turn it.  I wouldn’t.  She was satisfied because she knew she had used every ounce of power she had to make it happen if I would have just complied.  She is also the one who filled out the paper stating that if he was absent again, the truancy officers would be notified.  So, she knew, she knows and she will break her back to make sure that I make sure nothing like that happens again.

• She is feared by most or all of the parents.

Her little corner of the world is filled with people all day long.  The principal’s office is in the back, she is in and out, in and out, issuing orders, in and out.  The assistant principal’s office is directly beside her and she works just like the principal.  They are all encapsulated behind one door.  That means she is also exposed to every sick child that comes through the door, every sick parent, every non-bathed bra-less parent, every salesman, every teacher who comes in to talk to the principal or check her mail (the teachers mail center is located here).  She is responsible for answering a phone that rings endlessly all day long as well as giving children permission to use a different phone almost in 15 minute increments.  Every parent that comes into the building has to see her for a pass to go where ever they want to go in the building.

The bottom line, she does not have time for bullshit.   She needs to stay focused and has no time for small talk.  Thus she puts on an air that she is more important than you when that isn’t how she feels at all.  What she really feels is over-whelmed and the fact that she doesn’t cater to your every need, makes many folks feel as if going to chew off the next arm that reaches for the door to her abode.  That’s just the bottom line.

As I mentioned, I’ve been in numerous schools and it is the same in every one of them.  The school secretary rocks and she also rules!

On a personal note, the second time I ate lunch with Walker I had a coca cola bottle in my hand.  It is against the rules to have those in the lunch room and the school secretary was the one who found me a paper cup to use…I’m telling you, don’t piss her off.