The Stereotypical Homeschooler
Homeschooling is one of the most misunderstood institutions in the world as we know it.
You can say that twice! Tiffany from Nature Moms, a great blog for the eco-moms, spent some time debunking the most common myths about home education. Sadly, these same myths have been debunked over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. No matter how often we scream or how loudly, the people against home education continue to sit around sticking their fingers in their ears and singing “lalalalala” as loudly as they can. Let’s be honest, they don’t want to know any different. if they were really interested they would have went out and searched for the facts by now. Instead they choose to spread misinfomation, lies, and stereotypes so they can feel good about themselves and their own choices.
There’s not much you can do about willful ignorance. You can lead a horse to water, as they say.
You can, however, try to take them down a notch or two. if for nothing else than your own personal therapy. Alasandra did a great job cutting through one closed minded mom’s view on home schoolers. Does anyone else ever notice that the most closed minded often claim home education creates closed minded people? It’s like those Chinese finger lock toys, the harder you pull away the tighter they become.
Stereotypes have been big in my thoughts lately as I’ve been labeled and shoved in the wrong box a lot this week. So I’m begging you all to make me laugh. What’s the weirdest, wackiest, flat out odd stereotypes you’ve encountered? Not even just with home education but with any other aspect of you life. What strange things have people assumed about you from small aspects of you life?
home education, stereotypes, people
May 15th, 2008 at 8:19 am
You know, I am SURE I have stories, lots of them (you know being all untraditional around here) but dang if I can remember any funny ones. We get a lot of slack and misunderstanding because we both work from home (my husband plays a lot of computer games because he designs and writes about them for a living) so people assume we are either lazy or have TONS of time on our hands so should pick up any family odd jobs or visiting that needs done. We are also born again Christian so people often assume that we are die hard Republicans (we are Libertarian), that we are homeschooling because of that (its because schools suck), that we must be strict home schoolers (we unschool), that I must be patient (not even), that my teachers degree is the reason I can home school (hardly use it at all except for some special ed stuff with oldest two), that we go to church (we home church). We don’t have much money so a lot of people assume that either we are lazy or that I should be working outside the home–we have chosen this life and to stay in the area even though it costs us in money we can make so we can be near family.
It has taken me years to get over other peoples idea of what we should be compared to what we are. This life is our choice, we are both doing what we love, at home with our family, we have CHOSEN and we are very happy, thank you very much. My response to them is “Push your nose in.”
May 15th, 2008 at 9:51 am
I get all sorts of comments even though I only tell people that we are strongly considering home schooling. When we were out looking at cars a few months ago I had one of the car salesmen trying to convince me that the the local schools were great (they are not) and that I was going to be doing a disservice to my son by not sending him to public schools. Needless to say we did not buy a car from him.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
OK, coming out of lurkdom for this one. . . I have a zillion, but this is my favorite. Here is the conversation:
(phone rings) Me: Hello? (genuine greeting, pre-caller id)
Annoying “friend” (AF for short): Hey, I have a question for you.
Me: Why hello AF, how are you doing today?
AF: (too annoying to be proper and respond to the greeting) I need to know something. Are your boys circumcised?
Me: Uhhhh… (speechless, shocked, annoyed, irritated)
AF: (oblivious to the above feelings, and in a hurried, breathless rant) Oh my gosh! I was thinking, ‘who has boys?’ You! So I had to call and ask. I don’t know anyone who isn’t circumcised but I thought, maybe yours aren’t; you homeschool, you’re weird like that, maybe you could help me understand. . .
Me: (wanting to hang up the phone) Why would you ask me that question?
AF: Oh my goodness! I have to tell you this story about my friend who is taking her 8 year old in to be circumcised! . . .
Needless to say, we got caller ID, and I never answered her calls again. She had the audacity to ask me if she had said something to offend me because I had been “cold” to her for no apparrent reason. “Willful ignorance”. . . it reaches so many levels of social interaction!
May 16th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I embrace the stereotypes.
“Kids, what are you doing? Get back in the closet!”
Oh! The silence is blissful!
May 16th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I grew up on a farm in Kansas in an area of the state where the population density is 3 people per square mile. The town where I went to school has a population of around 1500 and is to this day a community where you can go the the grocery store and the bank and the donut shop and know almost everyone you see. Yet there were still a few kids in my school who were under the impression that they were urbanites and that the kids who lived in the country were hicks.
May 16th, 2008 at 11:46 am
We have not stuck our fingers in our ears…at least not all of us. You keep saying these Stereotypes keep coming back…It’s because stereotypes exist for a reason. There are homeschooled persons out there, if you want to admit it or not, who continue to fit the stereotypes, end even create more negative images every day. Example: We had a young homeschooled girl come to our house and sell us magazines. She was socially inept and just plan annoying, but we helped her out despite herself…and never received the magazines. She told us some story about the death of a pet by a family member…while trying to sell us magazines and petting our dog. Then, on top of everything else, we have individuals like yourself who keep shout…”No, we are not like that and if you don’t agree, your ignorant and prejudicetic.” Great front people for the cause. If you want to change the stereotypes…ask yourself why they still exist instead of just saying “your wrong.”
May 16th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I normally wouldn’t have a response to this, but as it so happens, I was just categorized the other day by a crazy woman.
One of our neighbors had a problem with two of my son’s friends playing with unloaded BB guns. She ended up coming over to my place to rant about said boys and BB guns, and made mention of the fact that she wasn’t sure where the guns had come from. “I’m not sure if you gave them to those boys or if your husband or boyfriend did, but…” My son and I weren’t even home when she “caught” the boys in question playing with the BB guns. Anyways, she went on to say, “I know how proud you all are of your BIG dogs, but if those boys shot at a little dog with a BB gun, it would really hurt it.”
Bear in mind, this woman is completely insane and is more than likely going to be evicted for threatening to assault me, but the “big dogs” comment stuck with me. I’ve run it around in my head over and over again and the only thing I can come up with is this: because we have a larger breed of dog, she assumes we’re stockpiling guns, hunting every year, and handing out “dangerous weapons” to our son and his friends and allowing them to fire at whatever they please.
Insane. Because we have a 70lb. dog, we’re crazy, gun-toting rednecks. I wish someone had told me…I guess I need to start hunting! Hehe.
I fear the homeschooling stereotypes will never die. I was homeschooled with all four of my siblings. We were normal kids who liked to play and have fun. My closest childhood friend lived next door with her grandparents…and her grandmother, who saw me on a daily basis and knew I was just a kid who didn’t go to public school, was CONVINCED my parents were part of some sort of cult.
And now I must address Bryan’s comment, for it is frocked with ignorant prejudice.
I know children like the one you speak of…oddly enough, they’re public schooled children! *Gasp* No way could public schooled children be socially inept and annoying! Yes, it happens.
And we’re responsible for changing the stereotypes? Please! It doesn’t matter how we live in any other aspect, if we’re homeschoolers, people assume we’re religious fanatics with socially retarded children. How are we supposed to change that when it comes to close-minded people like yourself? People believe what they wish to believe, not necessarily what’s staring them in the face.
Your whole story only serves to further the idea that the majority of people are unfairly biased when it comes to homeschooling. Think about the child who came to you to sell magazines. Had she been attending public school, would it have made the same impact on you? Doubtful. She would’ve been “the annoying little girl who sold magazines”. BUT because she was homeschooled, she automatically became “the little homeschooled girl whose unconventional upbringing has rendered her socially inept.”
I will concede the fact that there are homeschooling families out there who fit the stereotypes, but that doesn’t make the act of stereotyping ALL homeschoolers any less ignorant and prejudicial. Parents who send their children to public school are usually looked at individually…why is it different for those of us who don’t?
That’s it, I’m going to start stereotyping public schoolers. I’m going to walk around saying all children who attend public school are unhappy, violent, and socially inept. Let’s see if that gets me anything but contempt from the “socially acceptable” people who willfully place their children in an institution which numbers them and destroys their desire to learn.
By the way, I had a couple of high school kids show up at my door to sell magazines once. They were in competition with their classmates for some kind of trip. I paid $40 for a two-year subscription to a magazine for my son. And guess what? I never received the magazines. Not one.
May 19th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
I don’t have any stories, as a matter of fact, most of the people who have found out we homeschool say something like, “Good for you!” I know the day is coming when I will get some sort of negative, sarcastic comment, and I know I won’t be ready for it. I will be left standing there with my jaw hanging open.
Although I have not been personally attacked as a homeschooler, I am beginning to wonder if these people, like the one Alesandra answered, who are so against homeschooling (the same ones who are supposed to be FOR diversity, right?) are against us because they think our kids have some sort of “unfair” advantage. Ours definitely have an advantage over most government school kids, and although in my case it is not an academic advantage, it could be. The anti-homeschoolers need to read a book that I think ought to be required reading for all Americans these days, Charles J. Sykes’ book, 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education. Rule number one is “Life is not fair.” They sound like a bunch of whiners who aren’t getting their way.
June 4th, 2008 at 6:37 am
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