Mom Is Teaching

I grew up in the house with a school teacher.  The rule in my house is/was, the teacher is right.  It doesn’t matter what your side of the story looks or sounds like, the teacher is the one with the authority and you do as he/she says and that’s the end of that lesson in life.  Now, go out into the big world of school and do what you are told.

And, I abided by it.  I truly did.  I didn’t get in trouble at school for talking (which I’m sure you all can see from my entries that I am a talker) although my son gets in trouble almost daily for talking.  I did not get in trouble at all in school with the exception of the one time this boy and I kissed under the Mistletoe.  I didn’t try to deny it and I knew my parents were going to kill me.  Actually, I knew my  mother was going to kill me and my father was going to laugh at me.  And, that’s exactly what happened.

But other than that, I never saw the teacher reprimand me for something.  Never!  That’s because my father taught me that the teachers is always right. 

When I started teaching school, I assumed that the rest of the children in the world knew this rule.  They did not.  Their parents did not.  And, as Michelle Lamar and Molly Wendland discuss in their book, the best thing for you to learn and to teach your child to learn is this, “Don’t tell the Teacher that He or She “Must be Mistaken”.

Let me tell you why, because that teacher spends more time in 5 days with your child than you do in 7.  He/she knows exactly what he/she is capable of and knows exactly what he/she can and will do.  If by chance, the teacher makes a mistake, it may take him/her a while to learn the error of his/her ways, but the truth will come out and you certainly don’t want to be the one who has to say I’m sorry.  Your child will be scarred for life. 

For those of you who are thinking “but if I don’t defend my child, he will be scarred for life thinking I didn’t believe him” even in an opportune chance that he/she is not the one who is/was guilty, try to trust us (me,, Michelle and Wendy) on this one.  Always always let the teacher be right and when he/she is wrong, let him/her be the one who has to get on his/her knees and ask forgiveness.  Why is this so important, because, like I just told you above, the teacher spends way more time with your child than you do in most cases and the teacher knows what your child is capable of doing.

The White Trash Mom’s Handbook says,

Even if your kid didn’t set off the bomb in the school bathroom, do not make the mistake of immediately defending our kid.  You can and should defend your child but if you immediately start telling the teacher that what that individual is telling you is wrong, you are on your way to the blacklist.  Listen.  Listen.  Act or defend later.  Thank them for letting you know.

Once you are home, you can hear more of the story and if you choose to punish your child or if you choose to make time for a conference with the teacher and administrator, then do so, but follow the rules, listen to what the teacher says without saying a world, go home, digest it and then try again. 

By that time, if your child did indeed tell you the truth, some one, some little tattle tale girl with big ponytails on each side of her head will slip the teacher a note, or tell her parents who will in turn slip the teacher a note and your child will be exonerated.  And, then you, the parent look like the most cooperative parent that ever crossed that teachers path.

Trust me on this one…..just trust me.