So, I really hate to complain but candy? Really?
Here’s the deal. You all know that my son is a talker and that thus far his teacher has been more than a little bit receptive to the fact that he NEVER.SHUTS.UP. She seems to be unscathed by his delirious talking spells. Yes, he has received his share of yellow bee’s and such but for the most part, she has been wonderful for our kindergarten year…..
That said, I’m going to say that I don’t know who’s idea it was sometime in the last week or two to change the discipline/reward system to include candy…every day. Honestly, if it were an end of the week reward, I might not have been so bent out of shape. But, we don’t buy candy for our kids at home unless we hide it. (Some of you may remember that they once found our stash in a box of rice…they know when they see empty wrappers in the trash that we have some candy somewhere.) We generally don’t let the kids have much candy at all. My mom lets them have enough that they might not ever get another piece and it would be fine.
Anyway, I don’t know where the idea was born to give them candy each day but I didn’t complain at first. But, it was wrecking our life. And, I do recall from my time as a teacher in this very system that this is a big no-no. And, my kids were fighting over the “earned” candy and then begging for more more more all night long. I mean, we went from having candy/ice cream/snack cakes for special occasions to having that crap every flippin’ day.
So, this morning, I got dressed and headed into the school. I was basically told that this would be handled, that it was NOT policy but that all I had to do was send a note to my son’s teacher that he was not to have candy. Wrong answers…sorry. I know that I am real close to offending some one and if they read this, then they just need to beware.
But, the fact of the matter is this, I wasn’t about to tell the teacher not to give my kid candy but to go ahead and let the other kids have it. I mean, come on, give me a break. Secondly, I knew that it was policy, somewhere, somehow…it was there. I did skip going to the teacher which I also know should have been my first stop. However, it was morning rush and I didn’t. I went to the principal.
When the answers I received above were definitely not to my liking, I did the only thing left and I went over her head as well. I was right, it is state policy that no school authority shall sell or provide for free anything of non-nutritional value. And, I was given the page numbers of the Wellness Policy which indicates such.
So, what I should have done at this point was have someone from the Board of Education call and inform the administrators of this news. However, I didn’t even ask them to. I picked up the phone and called myself. At the time I called, the principal wasn’t in and I spoke with the assistant. She was unaware of the entire situation. I gave her the whole story and then let her know when and where to find the policy.
Done.
Right?
No, my son comes home from school with a note indicating that they will not longer be having candy as a reward due to a “complaint”. Yea, you are doggone right it was a complaint and it is a complaint which was about violating policy, never mind common sense. And, I’m saying here and now, no offense intended but if my son even so much hints that “he is the reason” that they can’t have candy anymore, I will have someone’s head.
I don’t like to make threats. But, if an adult is in the position to allow this information to be heard, overheard or intentionally told to the students that my son’s mother complained and now they can’t have candy…heads are going to roll. I’m sorry.
I’m writing this on Wednesday. It won’t post for a few days and it may get re-written a few times before it posts to keep my emotions out of it. But, the fact of the matter is, the school was wrong, not necessarily that I was right. And, I refuse to allow my child to have to bear the brunt of their disposition.
Discuss.
February 21st, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I am agreeing with you 100%. I always feel that you have to pick your battles with the public school and this, frankly, is a good one. When one thinks about how sugar cranks kids up, I can’t imagine any self-respecting Kindergarten teacher who would shovel candy at their kids DAILY!!! Maybe for a party but not regularly. That’s disgusting. Keep us posted.
February 21st, 2009 at 9:02 pm
My husband & I totally agree with you! As former administrators & teachers, we feel you are absolutely correct. Hang in there. When you calm down, go talk to the teacher & explain. Then offer support & alternatives.
February 22nd, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I think you were absolutely right, and I’m so glad that you did something about the situation. I was a teacher, and I can’t imagine rewarding children with candy EVERYDAY. It’s absurd, and I hate how they sent the note saying that the practice was discontinued due to a “complaint,” like it was your fault. I hope your son isn’t singled out. I would be raging mad too. Good for you though. I’m sure more parents also disagreed with this reward system.
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Here’s the thing, you guys aren’t going to believe this….now it seems they can’t have “parties” for birthdays. I’m not sure that’s what was meant by the note but it totally seemed to read that way.
And, of course, when my son turned 6, I went to school during snack and carried a cake for him and his classmates.
I was out of town on Thursday and Friday so I’ve had time to get my thoughts together. Plus add to it the fact that my mom acted as if I was an idiot for complaining, I’m not going to say anything else.
But, some of those folks read here, they know how I feel, they know they were wrong (and it’s totally not about being right or wrong, it is about common sense and treating parents and children with respect) and I do fear my son will reap the wrath that is meant for me.
And, I haven’t complained, nor have I had reason to complain about anything, but you can guarantee, I meant what I said, “heads will roll” if my son is informed that “his mother” is the reason why there is no more candy or whatever.
I absolutely wouldn’t have even complained if it were a “do the right thing all week and on Friday’s we will have a candy surprise” or something. But every day? C’mon.
And, the fact that I knew the rules, I knew the policy and was insulted and made to believe that I was the one out of place, that alone was simply what made me mad.
So, thanks for the support…thanks so very very much.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:01 am
How silly! A piece of candy isn’t going to kill a kid. Nutritional studies have been done to show that children that eat candy aren’t any less healthy than those that don’t. Rewards motivate students! A tiny piece (and I do mean one piece) of candy is about the only thing that a teacher can afford to buy for the students. I have 30 students in my class. When I could give a cert as a reward my students wanted to read and make a 100 on a test. It was my way of letting them know that I appreciated their hard work. Do they want a sticker at the age of 10? NO! I hope that you spend a lot of time with your child’s teacher because I can promise you that you have made her life a little harder. It looks like an easy job but it is one of the hardest that you could ever have. She is not in it for the money, she’s in it for your child. You could have had the heart to go to her yourself before you got the school board involved. I’m glad that you feel proud of yourself. I’m not saying that I don’t see your point, but the drama! Teachers want parents to talk to them!!! We can’t address issues if we aren’t aware that they exist. She was trying to provide an incentive for children that do the right thing.
November 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
i agree with julie candy cant hurt no one all it does is get the kids attention.