Should We Give Public Schools A Chance?
This week’s question is an interesting one. It is one that wasn’t sent in here but I had to post it anyway. A friend of mine asked me my thoughts on this a few weeks ago, and even though I gave her my ideas the question stuck with me. So with her permission I’m putting her question up here for everyone to answer. I’m looking forward to reading your responces.
We are planning on homeschooling when the year starts in September. It is something we’ve always planned to do, especially since we lived in a poor area that did not have a lot of funding for the schools. However since moving over the summer we’ve ended up in a very nice area with great schools. I’m still in love with homeschooling, but my mother-in-law hates the idea. And now she keeps saying that we should at least try to local schools before pulling out completely. My husband is on the fence, but I worry that even a short time in public schools will be enough to wear our son down. I don’t want to have to fight with him, I want him to continue to love learnign as much as he does now. Is it not fair to write off the local schools, especially since they are better funded and seem to be really great? Or should I stick to my guns on this and tell her to butt out?
school, education, homeschooling, public schools
August 24th, 2007 at 8:59 am
It sounds to me like your WHY for homeschooling is you want your child to continue to have his love of learning. So if the local school could provide that than sure go ahead and enroll them. An easy way to check? Ask some of the local kids, what do you like about school, what are you learning about, are you excited to go back? Ask some of the parents, do you kids like going to school, when you ask them what are they learning do they grunt? That will give you your answer. You could also make a tour of the school. You’ll know by what you see and hear if it will be a fit. The great thing is you have homeschooled and you have produced the results you wanted, you are achieving your why. To me if you are achieving what you want to accomplish why change but like I said I think you’ll get your answers by checking things out. Then you can say I checked it out and there is no way they can accomplish what we are accomplishing now. Our decision is to homeschool. It’s all about achieving your why.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Most of the homeschooling people that I’ve met are not homeschooling due to finances or funding issues. It sounds to me like you are letting those issues give you doubts about homeschooling. For me, homeschooling has nothing to do with how many books we can afford versus the public schools, and it has nothing to do with whether the teachers in our public schools are supposedly “great”. No matter what the reputation of my particular school district is, or how great the “product” they turn out, it will always be fundamentally less joyful, natural, logical, individual and effective than homeschooling.
Of course, I’m an unschooler. The only curriculum we follow is the one created by my children. No school in the world, that I know of, can do that. I think maybe there are homeschooling families out there that are *very* focussed on curriculum. So maybe if their particular curriculum preference matched that of the public schools, they might re-consider homeschooling. But for us, pretty much everything about the school experience is the antithesis of what we believe about learning and living our lives.
August 24th, 2007 at 9:57 am
This is my 2cents and my feelings. It doesn’t matter how good the school is. It can be the best in the nation and still not be what is right for you. We live in a district that has outstanding schools and it didn’t work for mine.
You can…. 1) try the school out to give it a benefit of a doubt and if it don’t work maybe get your family off your back, which didn’t work for me. Some of my hubby’s family still give me a hard time no matter how good they see it is for the kids in all areas. Plus, this could clear up the doubts you may feel down the road because you didn’t try public school.
2) Or go with your heart no matter what others may say.
I look at it this way, if you really feel you should home school, then that’s what I would do.
You know your kid better than anybody even the grandmother. No offence. I would go with my heart!
August 24th, 2007 at 11:17 am
This sounds to me like a mother-in-law issue, not an education issue. Sometimes a wife can find herself “corrected” by the mother-in-law nearly constantly. It can be very exasperating (I have first hand knowledge with this!) Look at other issues, and fill in the “education” blank and see how you react. If you like attachment-style parenting, and your MIL suggested that you use the “cry it out” method of getting your child to sleep, would you try it? If you were interested in being a stay-at-home parent (regardless of the education choice) and she suggested that you just try-out going back to work full time, would you do it? If you liked a certain kind of car, would you get a different kind because she thought you ought to “try it out” before making your choice, would you do it?
You can go anywhere with this one, but the issue is really, “how much influence do you want to give your mother-in-law in your family decisions?” She certainly should give you advice, but the decision should be between you and your husband.
Just a bit of elaboration on this one. My religious background is different than that of my husband’s family. Before we were married, my (now) husband and I discussed at length what religion we would practice as a family, for the sake of our kids, and our personal beliefs. The compromise we made was that the kids would be raised in his church, while I would attend services with the family, if and when I decided to make a conversion was my personal decision. My mother-in-law is not very understanding about this, and has dumped (what seems like) a cubic ton of pamphlets, newspaper clippings, magazines, books, audio and video tapes, and all sorts of other propaganda, all to the end of getting me to convert. UGH. At this point it wouldn’t even matter what I believed, I’d go the opposite way just so she can’t have her way.
So maybe I have some excess baggage with this issue, but at the same time, there are times you really need to stand firm. Whatever you decide, be sure that your decision is your own, not your mother-in-law’s.
Best of Luck!
August 24th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Personally I think of it the other way around…. try homeschooling and if it doesn’t work for your family THEN put them in public school. LOL.
But seriously, homeschooling’s advantages aren’t anything that public school can offer, no matter how good the school. If you feel it’s in the best interest of your family or your child to forgo those advantages, put them in public school. DON’T do it just to satisfy the MIL though.
If you do opt for the homeschooling, get the grandmother involved so she can see the advantages first hand! Find a topic she can tutor your child on, something that she has special knowledge or interest in. Let your child make regular presentations for her, science projects, oral reports, reading, etc.
The family members who originally opposed homeschooling are now some of my strongest supporters having seen first hand the benefits. I imagine the same will likely happen for you.
Good luck!
August 24th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Oooh! I’ll be the advocate for public schooling!
What does it hurt to try? The worst is that you KNOW it doesn’t work for you and yours. The best? Your children get the advantages of a public system (diversity, range of ideas, constant social exposure). You still teach your children at home, even if they’re attending classes in a public system.
Just my two cents.
August 24th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I teach in a small private school, but my sister-in-law and 2 good friends homeschool. To my way of thinking, there are really only a few good reasons NOT to homeschool:
-you don’t want to
-your kids have tried it and really really don’t want to
-you work full time
-you don’t comprehend elementary subjects (I’ve had former homeschoolers who were years behind in math because of a lack of parental knowledge.)
If you & your kids are willing to homeschool, and you have the time & basic intelligence, why bother with public school?
August 24th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
What does it hurt to try public school? Your child will get to be in a very diverse classroom (meaning about a 15 to 1 student:teacher ratio on a good day - some days, situations and times will really make the spread a lot larger), there will be a wide range of ideas (including what clothes you should be wearing, who got the most stuff for Christmas and their birthday, etc.), and LOTS of social exposure … LOTS … with a big, giant wad of kids their own age … LOTS and LOTS of alone time in the cafeteria and on the playground with teachers who are too tired and exhausted to play with the kids and interact with them closely as they discuss issues that are well beyond their scope of understanding.
And the worksheets! Don’t forget the worksheets! They will be missing out on TONS of busy work when they are ahead in a subject. They’ll also go without the extra attention and instruction in the areas where they struggle.
What was I thinking?!? Homework!! Who wouldn’t want that? It is a natural deterrent to those pesky things in life, like extra activities, community involvement and just hanging out with family and being a kid.
Sorry. I know I’m crazy sarcastic. You will find that you always have someone in your life that thinks homeschoolers are from Mars. Yet, I have to agree with Carol. If you’re willing and motivated, why wouldn’t you try homeschooling FIRST?!? The public school system says it all the time: you are your child’s best teacher.
August 25th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
[...] Your Responses by Summer Minor Yesterday’s question asked if homeschoolers should at least give public schools a chance. I got several great answers that are all well worth going back and reading. Lori D gave great [...]
August 25th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Public school has been just fine, at times, for both of my kids. But they have also attended private schools. Homeschooling is not something I would ever do. That’s not to say that it shouldn’t be an option for others.
My youngest did great in K-6 at the public school — the best in town and I deliberately purchased my home in that school’s attendance area to assure my kids would enroll there. However, when he got to 7th grade . . . what a disaster. The overcrowded school was riddled with gangs, bullies and teachers who either couldn’t (because they were overworked) or wouldn’t (because they were overworked, underpaid, burned out and should have been retired) pay any attention to him. It got so bad that he wouldn’t get out of the car and go to school. Finally, dad got him to confess that he was being bullied (he wouldn’t tell me). My husband marched right over to that school and let the vice principal know. To her credit, she got right on the situation. But the damage was done.
I put him in a fabulous local private school for 7th & 8th and, because the public high school is even worse than the middle school, he has continued in a private high school.
I’m lucky. I can afford it. I know that not everyone can. His tuition and books is about $5,000/year. That doesn’t include field trips, etc. It is worth every penny, though.
August 25th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
That should have been “tuition and books ARE about $5,000/year.” Brain fart. Sorry. I couldn’t decide whether to type it that way or say “the cost of his tuition and books IS about $5,000/year.” Short-circuited in the middle of the thought process. Happening more and more . . .
August 25th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Christine had some interesting points.. some that she obviously feels strongly about. I was simply suggesting that the parents take the opportunity a better neighborhood provides them, as homeschooling is always an option if the public schools don’t fit.
And Christine, just so you know, there are kids in public schools who manage to still have time for extra activities, hanging out with the family, and being a kid. To some parents, myself included, being a kid includes difficult things LIKE homework. It teaches time management and responsibility. Unfortunately, my bad taste for homeschooling comes from having seen it done badly for many, many years, and seeing kids who had been homeschooled entire the “real world” ill-prepared for what lies ahead. Not only was their education second-rate, but they had no concept of anything related to time and scheduling.
Again, admittedly, I can see where these families were not the true representatives for the homeschooling community.
August 27th, 2007 at 8:26 am
Don’t do anything because your mother-in-law thinks you should!
If *you* think your child is missing out on something wonderful, and *you* feel in your heart you should try school, that’s a good reason. OR, if your child will be unhappy without experiencing school. However, doing something for your mother-in-law’s peace of mind could be disastrous. Her reaons for wanting this change could be complex and not entirely forthright.
October 1st, 2007 at 5:20 am
[...] Should We Give Public Schools A Chance? [...]