Mom Is Teaching

As most of you know, we let Walker stay out of school last week in order to take part in a family vacation.  I spoke with his teacher almost two weeks prior to our being gone and requested his work be sent home so we could do it.  It was and we did.  I did not, however, get prior written approval from the principal of the school.  I knew that other parents had talked about this part of the student handbook.  Did I look it up?  No.  Did I ask about it?  No.  Did I get the prior written approval?  No. 

Now, why did I not do this?  Well, there is no good reason because all I had to do was pick up the phone, call the school and ask for this approval.  Or, I could have sent a note in Walker’s folder requesting this approval.  Or, one of the times I was in the school building, as in Friday lunch date or simply talking to his teacher, I could have stopped in the office and requested permission. 

Why did I, a responsible adult, fail to get this prior written approval?  No real reason that I can think of other I’m hard headed.  My philosophy is/was that he is my son and it was our vacation and I didn’t need anyone’s permission to keep him out of school.  And, I took care of his academic needs by speaking with his teacher about the matter.

So, on Sunday night I wrote the note requesting that he be excused from school last week due to a family vacation.  (I fully expected to be denied.)  Yesterday I received a letter from the school stating that my son had missed four days unexcused due to the fact that I had not requested prior written approval.  I was also informed that because of the Truancy Laws, if he is out a fifth day unexcused, I will be reported.  Finally, it had a page copied out of the handbook with the portion highlighted that read, “prior written approval by the principal“.  I got it.  I understood.  And, it wasn’t as if I didn’t understand in the first place.

So, why?  Why didn’t I just do it.  I have no real answer for you other than just being a stubborn arse. 

I had to sign the form noting the unexcused absences and the fact that one more unexcused absence would result in the Truancy people being contacted.  I signed the note, including a little note of my own that read (not exact because I didn’t put much thought into it at the time):  “I knew that we were going on this vacation and I spoke with Walker’s teacher.  We took his work with us and it was all completed.  I understand the rule, however, I don’t anticipate that we will be taking any more trips that would require Walker’s absence and if we do I would be sure to get “prior written approval“.  Also, I was not concerned with the status of those days as excused or unexcused.”

Call it cocky, call it being a smart-alec, but I don’t care.  I don’t care what they thought about it.  Should I have followed the rules?  Of course I should have. 

This morning at approximately 8:15, a mere 15 minutes after school started (and his teacher had sent the note to the office for the administrators to read), I got a phone call from the school secretary.  Now, never mind that seeing that phone number on my caller ID was enough to make my stomach turn into knots (we’ve had front teeth knocked out by a sibling, so, an injury was the obvious thought on my mind).  The secretary is a sweet woman who is a former student of my fathers and has worked at this school as long as I can remember.  (I knew her motive was to get me to recoil and try to get the status over-turned.  I’m sure she felt it was that important.)  She merely re-explained what the note had intended to explain.  She then quietly (but not so quietly that I couldn’t hear her) asked the principal if this one could be reversed.  She returned to the phone to tell me that the unexcused absence would stand.

I said ok, and told her that it didn’t really matter to me one way or the other.  She reminded me that if he was out again that I couldn’t forget to send him with a note from a physician or that would put me in the violation of my son’s five days.  I said ok, and reminded her that it didn’t really matter to me one way or the other.  She reminded me of the truancy laws.  I said ok, and told her once again that it didn’t matter to me one way or the other.

We said our good bye’s and hung up. 

So, what the heck was that about?  It was about respect.  The principal had the authority to over-ride the unexcused absences especially since his teacher verified that I did indeed communicate with her almost two weeks prior to taking him out of school for four days.  But she didn’t.  Why didn’t she?  Because, she was proving to me that she had the authority to make that decision.  Just as I was proving to her that “it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another.”

Why am I being so ornery about this?  I could give you many reasons.  The first one would be this school supply list that ran in excess of $100 and that did not include any clothing, underwear or shoes.  This atmosphere the night of orientation.  Add to that $1.75 for school lunches (yes I could send something, but I know my child will eat better if he has the opportunity), $10 for weekly readers, $10.50 for class T-shirts to be worn on field trips and special school days, $11.00 for the first field trip next month.  This is only one month of school that the child has attended and we’ve put out in the neighborhood of $200.

No, those really aren’t reasons.  I really think the biggest issue is the lack of respect some of the administrators show me.  And, I’m much like a twelve year old and must play tit for tat.  It really is that simple.  I know, I know, some of you are thinking, you must give respect to get respect.  And, you can guarantee that up until this little episode, these people, all the way down to the janitor have received my utmost respect.  I was raised to respect authority, not buck it.  I never handled myself in any other manner.  So, I guess the link above regarding the atmosphere the night of orientation is more a factor than anything else.

The first words out of my husband’s mouth were “Walker will pay for your bad attitude” and I am quickly reminded of The White Trash Mom’s Handbook by Michelle Lamar and Molly Wendland.

Is he right?

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