Mom Is Teaching

On Wednesday I had managed to successfully boost my confidence enough to take the lessons my father had taught me and go to the airport, get on a plane, fly to Miami and make my way around.  No one to lean on but myself.  No one to talk to but strangers. 

On Thursday morning I dress up nice.  I fixed my hair and put on make-up and began to make my way down down the street to the convention center which was only a mile away.  No reservations what so ever as to my ability to walk a mile.  For those of you who remember, I could walk about 6 minutes on the treadmill when I gave up a month or so ago.  (I didn’t really give up, time just ran out – more on that later).

Either way, I was depending on no one.  I wasn’t taking a cab because I didn’t need to, I could walk.  I could follow directions and I could ask strangers for assistance without reservation.

But, I couldn’t however walk along the designated route AND tweet on my phone.  The excitement was overwhelming and I was busily twittering away my experience.  I don’t have a lot of memory about the exact moments prior to the accident, I just remember laying  flat on my face in the middle of the street with on-coming traffic in several directions.  My $5 sunglasses in one direction, my phone in another and people surrounding me trying to help.

I had stepped off the curb and not onto solid ground.  I twisted my ankle and I flew across the street in an attempt to keep my balance.  I landed in the middle of the street.  I was embarrassed more than hurt I thought.  People helped me up, assured me that I wasn’t dirty and I hobbled on across the road. 

Once I was safely off the road, I even tweeted about the fall.  My left foot was hurting.  It was hurting a lot.  But, I was NOT missing this conference.  I was half-way there, I could make it.  I continued to walk.  I went to session after session and I ate lunch and then attended more sessions.

Finally realizing that I had to get back to the hotel before I could crash and that the pain in my foot was worsening and I was obviously hobbling more now than I had earlier, I made my way outside.  This involved lots of steps.  Lots and lots and lots of steps….it was hard.

I sat down on the concrete slab and in a moment, I was completely confused as to what in the world I was going to do.  How was I going to get to the hotel.  I was I going to get to food for dinner, somewhere, but how? 

I knew that once my shoe was off, my foot was going to swell.  And in the length of time it took me to take off my shoe, put it in my bag and call my husband, tears began to stream down my face.  In that moment, I had no idea how to take care of myself.

I managed.  I had another meltdown when I realized that I had missed my flight and that time, in tears, I begged my husband to just “please do this for me, figure it out and tell me what to do”.  And he did.

I do know how to fish, but sometimes, we all need a partner to toss the line for us.  And, my father taught me the art of independence, but he also taught me the art of knowing when to say when.