Mom Is Teaching

First of all, if you do not believe in the following 2 things, then skip this one otherwise it will probably just enrage you.  So,

1.  It takes a village to raise a child – I am the product of a teacher, I was a teacher and I owned a daycare.  If I see children out of line, as long as I can correct the child in the proper manner (humor works great for example when a kid is about to fall out of buggy in a store and mom has turned her back to get something off a shelf – something like, “you sure are awful cute, you better be careful or you are gonna fall on your noggin”.  That usually gets mom’s attention and I’ve never had anyone get upset with me.  I mean, you know, by telling the kid he/she is cute, how could anyone be mad at you, really?

2.  We use corporal punishment.  I was the product of a father who used corporal punishment about 5 times in my life and would have used it more but I really was a good kid for him.  My mom, she would just get angry and start hitting me with a belt and not stop.  That’s not corporal punishment, that’s abuse.  I am talking a controlled adult using a safe method of spanking a child on the bum.

So, with that, about 2 weeks ago, my 4 year old was being a royal pain.  He has been for sometime and basically I look at it like he hasn’t outgrown the terrible 2’s.  The 6 year old is pretty difficult too.  But, a couple of weeks ago, my mother was angry because the 4 year old did something.  She used a fly flap (which she has already been told that my husband does not consider that appropriate) and was just swiping at his legs, over and over and over.  I yelled at her to stop.

She’s been pissed ever since.

But, she was not punishing my child, she was abusing him and sick or no sick, cast or not cast, I WILL NOT allow this to happen.  She really hasn’t spoken to me much since that time.  I have just dealt with her the best I could.  She has still been taking care of the kids while I have a cast on my foot as well as taking care of my house, but she isn’t speaking to me about it.

So, today, they were on a wild spree and she says, “I can make them mind but it makes you mad” and I said, “No you were out of control when I spoke up and when I make them mind, you go cuddle them afterwards and that’s a problem”

She was crying, leaving me with little left to say.  She said  her nerves were shot, I told her to go home and she refused.  She was already hacked at me about a series of other issues that I couldn’t control.  But, she wouldn’t go home.

Yes, I have had a cast on my leg since January.  When I first broke it, she was on her way home from my aunts anyway, she helped me for a couple of weeks then left and went back to my aunts because, “if I was going to run all over to conferences, what was the point in her being here to help me”. 

At the point where they put me non-mobile and I had to put Mini Me in daycare, she returned home to “take care of me and the boys and help around my house”.  Well, who knew this was going to be a 5 month long affair.  She and I have never got along very well, and for us to be together, in the same house this often is extremely difficult.

She has resorted to saying really evil things, I have restrained until today.  Today, I said what I thought.  One day last week when my husband got home, I was in horrific pain but wouldn’t take pain medicine because my mother was calling me a junkie.  I was less than 2 weeks post-op at that time.  She said I didn’t remember anything that went on because I took so much drugs. 

Let me tell you, I have taken less than 1/3 of what has been given to me for pain over the course of these 5 months.  Yes, less than 1/3.  Does that sound like a junkie to you?

I haven’t been outside of my house in over 2 weeks.  I am non-mobile and to be perfectly honest, I weigh so much that it is hard to get in and out of my house because of all the steps so after surgery I went to my kids baseball games and to the doctor.  Now, you tell me, if you are needing pain medication and taking it, you don’t leave home for over 2 weeks and every day is the same for you, can you imagine how it is easy to lose track of what day it is? 

She goes bizerk if I ask.  I don’t really not know, I simply think out loud. 

Anyway, this was suppose to be about her and my children.  They don’t obey her.  They never had.  She has never made them.  She has never made any of the kids that grew up at her house over the years obey her.  Her house was a free for all and all the kids new it.  And, my kids know it too now.  And, she blames us.

Either way, I do believe that it is perfectly find for the village to raise a child and I believe it is ok only if the village is willing to understand their role.  And, I do believe in corporal punishment but only in a controlled environment with a controlled adult and done appropriately.

So, what’s your thoughts?