I Think I’ve Been Fairly Reasonable
As I read through emails and comments and I even comment back, I realize that no matter how hard I try, someone is going to be offended. I realize in part that some of this is happening due to my own lack of knowledge and terminology. And, part of it is my own laziness to use the proper terminology when I could say “thing” or “stuff”.
.
I’m going to make a concerted effort going forward to be more specific and use better wording so as maybe to help articulate my thoughts. However, someone is still going to be offended.
And, here’s where I call it “growing up”. It’s time to grow up, quit thinking everyone is picking on you and take the opportunity to teach others what you know and they don’t. Just because you don’t convince them that you are 100% correct, you may have some impact on their thinking.
So, for slang’s sake, “Bow up, grow up, and be the teacher you were put on this Earth to be!”
October 20th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
[...] I Think I’ve Fairly ReasonableAs I read through emails and comments and I even comment back, I realize that no matter how hard I try, someone is going to be offended. I realize in part that some of this is happening due to [...] [...]
October 20th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Since this is aimed at me in light of Let me be very clear with you..NEVER did I say you picked on me nor I have ever felt as if you picked on me. You like to make fun of other parents and I am one of those you like to poke fun at, however I will not be made to feel that anything is wrong with being a so called “muffia mom”. I simply pointed out some things I feel you are not being fair on re: your son’s school and you didn’t like it. I will not even begin to discuss my teaching and education qualifications both in and out of the classroom, but you know me in real life and know them already. So I will disregard the “Bow up, grow up, and be the teacher you were put on this Earth to be!” because I will not even go there with you on how much advice I have passed to you over the past few years.
And for the person who asked if I feel like I am open minded, why yes I do. Would I be open to homeschooling…yes, if the situation called for it and we felt it was the best option. But we chose where we live based on the best schooling options for our children and I do not desire to home school them. Do I think is homework is stupid? No, I do not. I think there can be too much and inappropriate assignments, but I do think a parent can pretty much take any lesson and make it into some type of learning situation for their child. Do I believe in all these “free learning” environments like Sudbury or Waldorf. No, not really because the larger scale of the “Real world” does not conform to that way of thinking. Most employers do not just tell people to go out and do their jobs in whatever way it fancies them. Some do, most do not. Most require you to follow a set way of doing things and I PERSONALLY do not feel free learning environments foster the ability to take direction from others. Do I accepted other people for who they are…you bet. Do I counsel with children and families on that topic every single day in my job..you bet. They all know I care for them for who they are and I do not judge based on the confidential things they share with me. Do I care what others think of me…not a chance. Long live the muffia mother in me.
October 20th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
This was not aimed at you “only”. That’s why I say, people have to get their feelings off of their shoulders and read and be a part of what is being said. And, I did not mean it to be that I picked on you, you actually indicated that you felt as much with such comments like the “muffia mom”. Have you read the book? If so, you would have seen the humor in it and not the criticisms.
On a sidenote here, did you see my post on my personal blog about my surprise at this group of people ordering wine at 4:30 pm in the afternoon in our nearby town. They weren’t locals. I knew they weren’t locals and that was a dead give away. There is no one at my son’s school that fits the criteria that is discussed in The White Trash Mom’s Handbook in terms of what they wear or how they behave exactly because the characteristics mentioned aren’t available here. Trust me, if you could have seen the look on the hostess and servers faces when these folks started ordering wine at 4:30 in the afternoon, you would understand that for the most part, people where I live don’t take tennis lessons, they don’t go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week, they don’t shop anywhere much high class than J.C. Penny because there simply isn’t a place near by. For that matter, we don’t even have a Target. But, there are a group of women who spend basically all day 3 and 4 days a week at school “volunteering” and I’d be lying to you if I told you that their children don’t get special treatment.
I have several examples of how the principal was swayed by one of her “party” mates to put one of my cousins in the class she wanted to be in every year (she is in the 8th grade and been in this school since kindergarten) simply because my cousin (the mother) cleaned house for the party mate. One phone call was all the party mate had to make each fall and my cousin was in the class she wanted to be in, simple as that.
So, by you taking that description and making it something that it wasn’t intended to be, that was how you felt. Trust me, if someone showed up at this school for any event wearing anything better than kakhi’s and a nice shirt (and usually flipflips, but it does get cold eventually), then they get attention and people want to know “what’s the occasion”. You aren’t taking into account the difference in where you live versus other parts of the nation. Not everyone thinks it ok to drop their kindergarten child off at the door on the first day of school with rollers in their hair, pj’s and no bra……but here, it is fairly normal. I live in the hicks, remember?
But, even still, there are women here that I would deem Muffia Moms because they do things that are so off-the-beaten-track that everyone notices and it gets more negative attention than positive.
I am being very fair to my son’s school and just as you said, I take the assignments and make the best of them. And, I still don’t think having him do the assignments that his teacher makes every night for 2 weeks when he can go further and do more is being disrespectful to his teacher at all. I’m doing exactly what you suggest and that is….I’m quoting you here “but I do think a parent can pretty much take any lesson and make it into some type of learning situation for their child” …is what we do.
I’ve also said that I would homeschool if it were in the best interest of my child but that public school is what we do because that IS what is appropriate right now. As for feeling homework is stupid, you can go way back to my first entry on this blog about homework and see how I feel about homework. I made up my own mind about that when I was teaching in a classroom and I saw no point in having the kids do it. I saw no benefit from it what so ever. If I could give them study habits, then we could assomplishment some learning, but to simply give them homework for the sake of it, or because the folks who are supposed experts (see the post about teaching high school biology in a school that had not met AYP standards) say you absolutely must give homework or you are going to be deemed “not suitable for the program” was ridiculous.
I know exactly where those evaluations are, I will get them today. Secondly, I don’t feel that you or I are any more qualified to tell one another how to best treat their own child’s learning abilities than anyone else that has commented here on this blog. Unless there are some serious instabilities or disabilities most parents know what is best for their child.
In all honesty, I feel that you do take it personally when people speak out for what works for them because no one has criticized your decision. Not your exact decision because most folks here do not have any idea the kind of school systems you live near nor do they know what kind I live near.
In general, if you look at statistics, Alabama ranks 45 and Georgia 41, so in the whole scheme of things, our educational system in both states is lacking. I just happen to know more about Alabama than Georgia and I know more about Georgia and Florida than I do other states because I’ve lived there. If you follow this link, http://www.neighborhoodscout.com/nj/schools/ you will see that neither of our states provides the level of education that children in many other states do. Just go look at the average spending per child, the average classroom size, child to teacher ratio and finally, go see what these poor folks are paid. And, I am not kidding when I call school teachers in Alabama poor. It is pathetic.
Now, I’m not going to continue to argue who is right or wrong, homeschoolers, public schools, or whatever. The point is, just what I said, it is everyone’s responsibility to step and teach what they know. If that happens, we all win.