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6 Responses to “Homeschooling debate…”

1. Luke Holzmann Says:
   February 12th, 2009 at 10:31 am

   [smile] If you read a lot of homeschooling moms’ blogs–and I do–all of these issues have been addressed ad nauseam, and, I think, very well.

   I will try to address each of the points briefly here:

   1. I want time away from my kids.
   A: You get time away. Homeschoolers typically spend less time “doing school” and their children are free to run off and do other things. My mom started and ran a company in all of her free time while homeschooling four 2-4 kids.

   Also, most homeschooling mothers I’ve talked with describe the great joy they had–and still have–from spending so much time with their kids. I think it may be an expectation thing, or something you just need to experience to understand. I’m not sure.

   2. I don’t want to be like those religious nuts who keep their kids from “the big, bad world.”
   A: So don’t. I think you are missing what homeschoolers actually want. Rather than keep their kids from seeing real life, homeschooling parents have the opportunity to let their children experience things appropriate for their age and development. As their children become mature enough to properly handle new experiences, they let them out little by little. That’s our role as parents, and why we have rating systems for TV and movies: To help us decide what our kids should be exposed to, and when.

   3. I want my kids to be “hip & with it” and fully indoctrinated by pop culture.
   A: Cool. I love media–and I create my own and imbibe lots of it. But there are very good reasons to take this kind of inundation slow. It’s not that we should never experience Britney, nor avoid commercials, but rather: Why jump on them? Why start out life focusing on such… unimportant matters that don’t bring true happiness? Better, is it not, to focus on character development so when we later start to interact with pop culture we can do so appropriately, wisely, and well?

   4. I’m an analytical person; I don’t want to become one of those mystic types who “hear from God” as their trump card.
   A: I’m not that way either. That is a personality difference, and it works really well for those who are on the “mystical” spectrum of things (my wife is more like that). If you are closer to the “analytical” side of things, you can still homeschool. Your reasons will just sound different. In the end, the motivation is the same: To do what is right and good.

   5. I can’t stand the stereotype of those people who hide away from the world, name their children after Biblical characters, and have a “avoid the world” mentality—and I never want to be one.
   A: There are many, many homeschoolers like you–just as there are many who are not. Homeschooling allows you to raise your children as you want, and if that is as a very cool, very modern ambassador for Christ: More power to ya! While I have no problems with people like my sister, who has named her children after Biblical characters and is going to move to the middle of nowhere and start a farm, I am more like you: I’m happy to be connected with modern life, technology, and the way the world is now. And I look forward to raising my kids to interact in this modern world through the powerful tool that is homeschooling.

   6. I’m not a good enough person to homeschool my kids; I’d likely blow up at them.
   A: I can relate to this fear as well, as I am a rather high strung person myself [smile]. But just as becoming a parent will offer me an opportunity to grow, so will homeschooling. Homeschoolers I talk with tell me that their kids become a joy in a way that their never were when they went off to school. I look forward to experiencing that joy.

   7. I couldn’t be with my kids 24/7.
   A: See point 1.

   8. I want my kids to be exposed to other beliefs, cultures, experiences that my home can not provide.
   A: Good! Homeschooling allows for this much more than public school. Classrooms are homogeneous: All kids are the same age and studying the same material. Homeschooling allows children to experience people of all ages and opens them up to interact with many different aspects of life. Especially if that is a focus of yours. Others have written far more eloquently on this point, so I will leave it at that: Homeschooling blows classroom schooling out of the water on this point. Hands down.

   9. I’m too insecure in my ability to homeschool.
   A: Give it a try. You may surprise yourself and discover a joy and a strength that you didn’t know you had. Homeschooling can be snuggling up with your children and reading a book. How much better can life get?

   10. I don’t want my kids isolated.
   A: You answered this one yourself: Get involved in other activities–church groups, sports, activities…

   11. I don’t want to be a smug religious snot.
   A: Again: So don’t. It’s your life, you don’t have to try to fit into the stereotype… most don’t.

   12. Kids need to be in the mainstream of life so they can swim in it.
   A: I agree. But they should learn how to swim first, yes? Homeschooling starts them off in the shallows with you, so you can teach them how to paddle and float. As they gain ability, you can move them farther into the stream until you eventually let them go. And since they will be able to swim, they will be the lifeguards saving people, not those nasty folks who drown others in their attempts to stay afloat.

   13. I don’t want my kids to be shocked when they suddenly experience “real life.”
   A: Dead horse by now: So don’t. Get them out there in areas that are appropriate for them. I was homeschooled until high school and it was not a shock to go to public school… well, expect for the areas where I couldn’t believe how easy things were, how immature some of my classmates were, and how lame the system was. I loved my high school experience–aside from those aspects of it–and it was very good for me… because I had been well equipped. My wife was homeschooled through high school, and did fine in college. And, honestly, there are things that should shock us out there in the “real world”–things that aren’t real but very much a part of some people’s lives (e.g. the sex industry, the drug wars… but I’ve been prepared for even those because of my home education that was devoted to a worldwide perspective and included many lessons that had to do with some of societies greatest ills).

   Bonus: 14. Parents can’t be teachers… who do they think they are?
   A: Parents teach their children to walk, talk, dress, eat, etc, etc, etc… homeschooling is just the natural next step. And, yes, parents can teach their children. In fact, for many reasons, they can do so better than a classroom teacher. I have already taken up too much space to really delve into this one, but I’ll point out a few reasons:
   Personalized lessons
   One-on-one tutoring
   Going at the student’s pace (fast or slow)
   Knowing the child’s learning style
   Being able to adapt to the child
   Access to great curriculum (they can choose)

   …and I know teachers who have had to teach, say 5th and 6th grade when they had prepped all summer for 2nd and 3rd. Teachers are often at a huge disadvantage due to the system… something parents don’t experience.

   Besides, my wife was an ed major, and I’ve talked with many other ed majors, and what you learn are classroom management skills more than any secret teaching tips that parents haven’t already naturally figured out.

   …all that to say: I think people should do what they feel is best for them and their children. Homeschooling is not for everyone. Public school is a very good option for some families (I tend to think that homeschooling might be even better). I am very glad for those teachers out there to have dedicated their lives to the children of parents who can’t (or won’t) homeschool. It is very needed, very good, and very important. I am not saying everyone should homeschool.

   But I am saying: Homeschooling is a great option, with many very compelling reasons to give it a try, and absolutely the best option for many, many families. Have you seriously looked into it yet?

   You should.

   ~Luke

2. Jerri Ann Says:
   February 12th, 2009 at 11:23 pm

   Here’s my thoughts as I left the comment on the blog mentioned above…

   “I linked to your post ….on my Mom is Teaching Blog. I have yet to get to responding to the comments but I am one who thought very much like you until I got knee deep in poop when I took over this blog that had formerly been authored by a homeschooling parent….they thought I was the devil because I am a former public school teacher and I had true misconceptions about homeschooling……so my position now is…..homeschoolers have their place in our society, but I simply want homeschoolers to admit that public school has its place as well…..and in my opinion, more public education proponents are willing to give kudos to the homeschoolers than vice versa….”

   And, here’s an updated post by this blogger as well…

   http://bosombuddies.typepad.com/bosom_buddies/2009/02/60-seconds-to-apologize.html#comments

3. Meg L. Says:
   February 13th, 2009 at 11:20 am

   I know you’ve gotten my opinions before, but this is what I left before reading her apology. Even after reading it, I’d still say the same thing to her.

   I’m not going to dig through all the comments to find points to disagree with.

   I wanted to talk about your fear of being with your kids 24/7 - The fact is that much of the tension you might find from spending time with your kids that is bracketed by public school is eliminated when you remove the stress that public school brings to both your child - Do you like to be boxed up with 20 to 30 other people for 8 hours? - and your family - How many times does your family’s plans have to change to accommodate things the school throws out?

   Yeah, my schedule gets thrown in a loop because of life, but mostly we have some awareness of what might do that and can plan ahead. Children bring issues home from school that families have no control over.

   As for teachers being trained to teach - HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED INTO WHAT MOST TEACHERS ARE TAUGHT?? - up until high school level it’s all about classroom control - um, sorry, but when I’m teaching my own family, I don’t need to worry about how to keep 20 kids on task.

   And my kids are certainly not restricted from the “modern” world. Shot, most strangers look at my dd (14) and with her black clothes and tri-colored hair wonder if they should be keeping their darlings away from HER!! OTH, she is smart as a whip, knowledgeable, and as sweet as can be when she volunteers with the troubled reading program at the library. Homeschooling her has allowed her to be the PERSON she wants to be - with both her taste in music and clothes not forcing her into acting like the trouble-maker she looks like.

   And as for going to college? My older child, ds (18) is a freshman at a nationally top-ranked college. Yes, he’s had to adjust to dealing with grades and tests (we didn’t) - but for the rest of it, there hasn’t been a problem. He’s free to do what he wants and he has no problem with it because he is doing what he wants and know himself well enough to be self-confident in his choices.

   All that said, homeschooling is only one way to educate a child. There are times when it is the best and times when it isn’t. It’s only the best when the entire family is considered and it still works.

   I never tell anyone they HAVE to homeschool or their child will end up a waste-case. OTH, I have been a public school parent, I have been a private school parent, and I have been a homeschooling parent.

   I DO NOT try to speak about something I haven’t tried and do not fully understand.

4. Jerri Ann Says:
   February 13th, 2009 at 11:31 am

   I honestly posted the link and her apology because there are so many people out there who were just like me…totally bumfuzzled at what homeschooling really meant. And, now I see things differently and I think that you and others know that my opinion changed drastically.

   Finally, I do stand firm that public school proponents are quicker to give homeschoolers the kudos that they deserve than the homeschooling group will give props to the public education. Do you think I’m delusional on this point?

   This is sent in email but I’m posting it on the blog so if you are comfortable, answer in the comments section…..please..

5. Meg L. Says:
   February 13th, 2009 at 11:50 am

   Actually, IMO, there are very few PS proponents who will listen to the benefits of homeschooling - but that may depend a lot on where you are located. And I really don’t blame them.

   They rarely see the successful homeschoolers. They tend to see the kids who bop back and forth and don’t succeed in getting educated either way.

   OTH, there are very few homeschoolers who are not reacting to something that went wrong - whether it is in reflection of what they missed in their own educational experience or a problem that developed with their own children. As such most homeschoolers are a little sensitive and reactive.

   They are also the minority and most have at least some experience dealing with vocal nay-sayers. Maybe we are a defensive as a group, but that ties in stronger with the fact that many of us are forging new ground and very unsure of whether we are making the right decisions.

   Who yells louder on a given day is hard to tell.

   I’ve met a lot of PS people who will say something like ‘I know John Smith’s family, and they are homeschooling the right way. OTH, most hsers don’t and it doesn’t work.’

   Where do you put them in your black and white tally?

6. Jerri Ann Says:
   February 22nd, 2009 at 11:52 pm

   I hope that people can actually figure out at this point that “if it’s what you are doing, then it’s right”…..parents have always been subjected to the judgment of others (women more so than men in my opinion) when we would never walk up to someone who is the CEO of a company, just out of the blue and say “Oh, yea, you don’t do your job right”……..if I gain nothing from writing this site except for PS folks to see and understand that every person is an educator, children educator one another, adults educate one another, parents educate their children, etc and no one has the right to simply make generalizations. Am I too ambitious?

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