Home Educators And Patience
Twice last week I had comments from people in regard to not having the patience to educate their kids at home. Both times made me laugh because patience is probably my biggest weakness. Try as I might, and I do try, I am just not a patient person.
I’m willing to bet that I’m not alone in this either. The delivery truck doesn’t start dropping off buckets of patience as soon as you decide to keep them home, though it would be nice if it did. Go back to last week and read about Dana’s bad day for proof of that. Then go read the posts linked at the bottom. Home educating parents are patient naturally, we just learn to take a lot of Christine’s chill pills. I like mine with a glass of chilled wine after the kids are in bed.
I guess it makes me giggle because when I hear someone say
Oh I just don’t have the patience for that!
it kind of feels like they are saying that I must have a lot of patience. Which I don’t, not by a long shot. But I also wonder if some people have an idea of what they think home education is like. Something in soft colors, with a mother lovingly wrapped up in her children, gracefully guiding them as they learn. Something you would need a lot of patience for. Something found only in a painting.
But I could be wrong. So I’m asking you. Do you think you have a lot of patience? Do you think it takes a lot of patience to educate your kids at home?
April 8th, 2008 at 9:45 am
It takes ooooodles of patience. And a really loud bull horn helps. (Just kidding:)
April 8th, 2008 at 10:29 am
It had better not take a lot of patience! If so, I’m in trouble!
April 8th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I think it just takes a big commitment to want to be with your kids a lot!
I get that comment all of the time, too, but what scares me is that comment comes from ps teachers. I find that to be incredibly ironic. I have 3 kids all day, not a class full of 25 5 year olds or a rotating schedule of 100’s of middle schoolers. How could you do that without a lot of patience?!
April 8th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I think you are correct that when people say that they most likely do have an incorrect picture in their head of what we do which is why they think they couldn’t do it. Secondly I do think homeschooling your own kids does help/encourage you do “develop” more patience (than we probably would have). I say that only because by being “with” our kids for longer periods of time I think for me at least the relationship becomes more important than yelling all day long (which is not an environment I’m comfortable with) whereas if I only had to “yell” at them in the morning and at night I might feel that that is “acceptable” because it’s not very often. (does that make sense, not sure if I’m coming across right). Anyways having said that do I have the amount of patience I would like to have? CERTAINLY NOT!! But in my view it’s just God’s way of homeschooling me :).
April 8th, 2008 at 11:12 am
I have a degree to teach secondary education. And before I had children of my own I thought I had a lot of patience. Once I had my own kids, I discovered a lot about myself that I never knew. My total lack of patience with my young children was at the top of the list. I have patience with other people’s kids because when I am with them, there is an end in sight. I’m not with them 24/7. I don’t have that outlet with my kids. Before they started preschool, I felt like I was losing my mind. So yeah. I don’t have the patience to homeschool my kids. I need a break from them too much. I need to be alone for more than five minutes in the bathroom or I start throwing things. It ain’t pretty.
Is homeschooling completely out of the question? No. I’ve considered it on several ocassions. And it’s always a possibility if I feel conditions in school aren’t what they should be and my kids aren’t getting what they should out of it. But so far we’ve been lucky with our teachers and so I don’t have to deal with my lack of patience and my kids. And I think that’s the best thing for me and my kids right now. But if I ever feel its best for my kids, we will find a way for me to homeschool and not lose my patience. Maybe an investment in a nice padded room?
April 8th, 2008 at 11:16 am
People always tell me I must be *so patient*. To which I reply - Not yet!
April 8th, 2008 at 11:45 am
I think having kids in and of itself teaches us patience. Then homeschooling teaches us more. We don’t start with it–we learn it. And when people say “I don’t have the patience” they mean ” I am not willing to develop the patience.”
April 8th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
While patience plays a part, I think perserverence is the backbone. I have lots of days where my patience is no where to be found, but deciding that I won’t give up on my kids is what keeps us going. We try new things, different things, a new perspective. I am actually quite impatient!
April 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I have no more patience now than I have ever had, homeschooling requires the same amount of patience as parenting does to me. So, like you I chuckle when I hear that same comment.
April 8th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Patience? I’m all out by 10:00 am. My kids need patience to deal with me all day long!
April 8th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
For some reason people see patience as something you have X amount of and that’s it. I think that’s why folks choose to bring it up as a reason why they can’t do it. “Sorry, I just don’t have enough.”
But I prefer to see it as something that can be increased no matter how much we’ve got to start. I see it like learning to swim. There’s natural talent but also training to consider in making a good swimmer.
The advantage we’ve got as homeschoolers is that we spend a whole lot more time in the pool. Unfortunatly, that doesn’t always translate into increased patience. There are still those days where my time in the pool just leaves me cold, wet and wrinkly
April 8th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Sleeping Mommy - You simply learn. There were lots of qualities I’m quite sur eyou didn’t have before you had kids but, because you needed them, you learned them after the kids came along. Patience is no different. It’s a skill. It takes work. It happens.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Interesting. I think you learn some patience. But also, I think that when you are with your children (and they with you) everyone learns to get along a little better, meaning some of those tired end of the day type things aren’t going to happen like they do between school ending and bedtime in most families.
It is more about perseverance as Mother Crone noted.
Now as for dealing with pesky legislatures? That is a patience I have not yet acquired. They get me all riled up and I can’t even send them off to timeout until they get a grip on themselves.
Or out to the sandbox while I get a grip on myself.
April 9th, 2008 at 7:06 am
I’m not a patient person by any means, and I didn’t think I’d enjoy homeschooling my son for that reason. Oddly enough, though, I’ve found I need less patience with him than I used to. For one thing, we’ve got more time together so I don’t feel as pressured for things to happen by random points in time.
For another, I understand his behavior so much better now that we’re around each other so much. If he’s acting dorky, I can usually recognize it as a sign he needs to get out and play. If he’s grumpy, it’s often because he’s feeling over-challenged.
Homeschooling gives me the ability to shift things around to deal with the causes of those behaviors, so I never have to be patient for long.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I think homeschooling is just like any other aspect of one’s life. You have up days and you have down days. Sometimes you’re in your best form, other days you would be completely devastated if others seen how you acted - those days when you resort to acting like a 2 year old yourself! I do love that response though. Always makes me wonder what they did with their kids before they sent them off to school? Also, makes me wonder how they deal with them at night and on the weekends? I find myself having way more patience for my kids since we have started homeschooling. I’ve formed that bond all over again with them - the one that was slowly slipping away while they spent 8 hours each day away from me at school. My other favorite response is: Do you have a teaching degree? Ah, yes, because I would need one of those to understand my children’s needs, learning styles and personalities. I would also need one of those to read from a book, or direct them during hands on activities, or even assigning pages from workbooks.
Ok, now I’m just ranting….
April 9th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I LOVE the swimming/pool analogy!! Thanks for the giggle Carol!
April 9th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
[...] You learn to chuckle when people proclaim “I don’t know how you’d do that, I’d never have the patience!” [...]