Mom Is Teaching

I had a comment on the last post that showed me that I was being misunderstood.  I commented back but finally decided it was worthy of a post all its own.  Here is that post:

Wow, I had no intentions of making the post sound like I think I am better than public schools.  I don’t even know where to start with explaining to you where I was trying to go with my post.  First, let me say that I had no reservations about taking him out of school this early and going on vacation before you commented that you thought it was too early.  And, then, I got scared.  So, Wayne suggested we ask his teacher who said (not a direct quote here, just summarizing) that because he had been in daycare/preschool that he was good with the schedule, he stayed on tasked, he transitioned well and wasn’t having a problem at drop-off and that she didn’t see that it would be a problem.
So, I went with her thoughts.  As for me checking him out early last week, that wasn’t a reward for him as much as it was for me.  As you know, we live in the boonies of no where and I had to be in “town” for an appointment (prior to the time we went to McD’s).  So, if I had not taken him with me, I would have had to make the 30 mile trek back and forth.  Normally my mom would have been available, but she had her chemo treatment and wasn’t able.  So, I did what I had to do.  Also, I don’t believe in rewarding behavior that is expected.  He is expected to behave in his classroom and he will be punished if he isn’t.  I know that some behaviors warrant simply rewarding with small items for good behavior.  But in my opinion, some behaviors are expected and not reward behaviors.  And, proper behavior at school is one of those.  I’ll deal with him at home differently, but he will not be a pain the arse to his teacher, ever. 
Now, I was raised in the public school system and you know that as well.  My dad taught in a public school for 19 years and was a huge advocate for educators in Alabama as well as nationally.  I taught in the public schools.  However, I think I’ve told you before and if I haven’t, I can’t imagine why but the schools around here?  They don’t hold a candle to the schools in Georgia.  I remember just reading the paper when I lived in Atlanta about on-goings at the schools.  I know from all the things that we’ve talked about before with your preschool knowledge that the pre schools here don’t hold a candle to that either.  That doesn’t mean I am anti-public school.  As a matter of fact, I am very much in favor of public schools.  There is no way Walker could function in a home schooled environment and even more than that, I couldn’t and don’t want to do it. 
Now, that said, there are plenty of kids who couldn’t thrive in public schools for some reason or another (outside the obvious ones) and need the home schooling option.  We had 3 choices of schools to put Walker in because there are no zoning laws here.  And, therein lies the problem in our area (remind me and I’ll post that topic later)…well, it is a place to start anyway.  But we had 3 choices and we chose the one with the highest national standard scores.  Which you and I both know that standardized tests are not the greatest source for information either.  My cousin graduated from one of the schools that we bi-passed.  She had earned the “highest grade point” award every year of her first thru eight grades.  Then in ninth grades, the kids from where Walker goes transferred in for high school.  She was immediately knocked off her pedestal by 3 of the kids from the school where we chose to put Walker.  That says something…..it wasn’t just a coincidence.  How do I know that, because my cousin who transferred just this year was in the exact position except she was transferring in and immediately the kids didn’t like her because she and her peers that transferred in were making better grades.
I can tell you right here and now, I would be hard pressed to home school my own child past probably the 4th or 5th grade in some subjects.  The year I taught seventh and eight grade life and earth science was a freaking nightmare.  I knew the subject matter, but teaching it wasn’t what I was trained to do and I was lost.  Also, the school where Walker goes is a school that I worked in, I know what goes on in that building and I know that compared to other schools I’ve worked in, that place really is as good as their scores say they are.
And, I may have used this example already but when I found out the class that Walker was going to be in and the class that his best friend was going to be in, I knew immediately that class selection wasn’t just something that had to be done.  His best friend’s mom teaches at the school, she teaches special education.  She and I both requested that the 2 boys not be in the same room.  She openly said that she had no control over who either of them got for a teacher and didn’t care and I felt that way as well.  Hindsight though, there was some thought put into the process and it wasn’t simply a matter of pulling names out of hat. 
Walker needed a teacher who would not tolerate his meltdowns or his desire to be silly and clown around yet would push him to keep learning more and more.  His friend needed a teacher that could tolerate his getting under the chair for the first week or so and under the table and just truly acting goofy alot but that would teach him without having to force him to be serious.  Both children got the exact teacher that fit their personality.  Even the 3rd teacher of kindergarten wouldn’t have worked for either of them, the 2 choices for the 2 children were made with the child in mind.  Now, that’s quality public education and it is right here in my back door. 
One of the other schools that I mentioned?  They aren’t even accredited.  I know of 4 kids who transferred out after the 2nd or 3rd grade and were almost a full grade level behind.  It happens.  That doesn’t mean all public schools are bad.  It doesn’t even mean that that particular school is bad.  It is just the facts.  As I said earlier, public school in Alabama is no where near what it is in Georgia.  Georgia ranks 39th, Alabama ranks 48.  48th out of 50, DC, New Mexico and Mississippi are the only places where it is worse.  That is a statistic right there that says a lot.  Now, it doesn’t mean that public schools are superior to home schools or vice - versa.
Also, I think that you have misunderstood when I talk in depth about parents teaching their children.  I honestly believe that there is way more for a parent outside of the school setting, to teach their children, regardless of whether they are home schooled or public or private schooled, parents have that responsibility and too many (and I know you as well as you know me, we both feel like we do our part) have just pushed that to the wayside and said, let someone else teach them.  I know that Velcro is the reason why kids don’t know how to tie their shoes as early as they did 35 years ago when I learned.  The reason is because my mom, the adults and the older children in my family taught me how.  The teacher didn’t teach me that, and it wasn’t necessarily her responsibility.  But many parents choose Velcro shoes more for the factor of not having to “teach” their child something.  THAT’S WRONG!  Period.
I do not know one single person in my real life that home schools right now.  Only 25,000 kids in Alabama, or there about, are home schooled.  I did have a cousin who home schooled her children.  Why?  Because she wanted religion to be part of their education.  How did she do it?  She simply went through an on line home schooling site and then the children did their own thing at their own pace while she worked 12 hours a day.  Neither of them graduated and I talked to one of them in an instant message when she was in the ninth grade and I could hardly read what she was trying to say because she couldn’t spell easy words.  So, I didn’t right that post for it to be pro or con anything.  When I say parents need to teach their kids, I mean they need to teach their kids outside of what is formally known as “school time” whether they are the one doing the formal schooling or someone else is, there’s way too much that parents are slighting their children out of.
I can’t find the statistics for the number of children that are home schooled in Georgia but I know it is much higher.
Just a side note, Walker’s teacher sent me his work yesterday for him to do next week.  I don’t know how well we will do with it, but he will do his school work.  Neither I or Wayne feel qualified but we will figure out a way.  Just from that, I know she isn’t concerned about him getting behind.
So, I hope this doesn’t seem that I raked you over the coals and I definitely didn’t dismiss your comment on the “going on vacation” post.  I went straight to his teacher and she even said he would be fine.  I knew he already knew some of his multiplication facts but she sent a note home yesterday saying she thought he knew them all through 3.  I knew he knew some of them.  However, the conversation goes like this, me:  “what is 3 X 4?”  him: 12; me:  what is 4 X 3?  him:  you know I don’t know the 4’s yet.
He is eager too learn.  There is so much he can learn in public schools that I could never teach him at home.  But, there’s also lots to be learned by exploring your world too.  Is the beach considered an educational trip.  Probably not, but will he be reading or at least trying to read every road sign all the way there, while we are there and all the way home?  Yep.  Will his mom and dad help him?  Yes.  Will his mom and dad go nuts trying?  Yes because our short trips into town right now of 30 miles are straining my brain because all he wants to do is learn more stuff.
I’m going to say this again.  I appreciate your comments more and more.  I feel like I know you more personally than most of my Internet acquaintances and you can guarantee that every piece of advice you gave me regarding daycare/preschool was taken and used.  If I didn’t use it for some reason, it was because it simply wasn’t possible in our little town of less than 14000 people.  And, yes I am the one that has actually taught in a public school (and a private church school for that matter) but as far as the knowledge of what is going on and what is being done to help kids, you have already proven that you know more than I do.  It has been a long time since I was in a public school, but I do know that you have seen, heard and been more involved than I have.
So, if anyone else out there took my post to be a bashing of public schools, it certainly wasn’t.  I’ve already received an email from someone who assumed I was bashing home schooling and one who thought I was bashing private schools and religious schools.  I’m not bashing anyone.  I just want you to remember that whoever teaches your child the “formal’ education, they can only do so much, we, as parents have to pick up the slack and teach our own children a lot of life skills.
Since this is so long, I’m going to make it a post as well.  And, please remember, I’m not here to bash anyone, I’m hear to teach you stuff I know, learn from you the stuff you know and then together we can teach our children what we all know.

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