Children Years Apart
Today’s Question for Homeschoolers is one that was sent to me by email. It is something that I have no experience with myself, so I am hoping that some of you that do will chime in with great answers. I know there are many homeschooling families in the same or similar households. Where children are spaced far apart and parents feel a bit frazzled by the gap at times. Here is the email I received:
I have two sons that I am homeschooling. One is 16 and one is 4. I feel like with such a huge gap I am forever running back and forth between them. When my oldest needs help I need to focus so my youngest suffers. But when trying to keep my youngest entertained during the day I have trouble helping my oldest. There there is driving them every where. Soccer practise, the library, music lessons, dance class, playdates and real dates. I’m exhausted!
I was exhausted after just reading the email! I am sure trying to care for two children so far apart in age must be a hassle. How do you make sure both children are getting what they need when they are on such different levels? I’ve wrote before on homeschooling with young children in the house but I am still by no means an expert on this. Especially when dealing with such a large age difference. My first thought would be that the older son is at an age where he can take care of himself a little more. However, if he is having trouble with some areas or just needs a little more supervision to keep him going then I can see how that would cut into any free time. And I certainly understand how younger children need their parents quite a bit.
I don’t even want to tackle the driving issues. I’m hoping that when we get there I’ll win the lottery and be able to hire a couple chauffeurs. 
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homeschooling, children, siblings, parenting
November 2nd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
I am no expert. I am just this year dealing w/ this issue. My daughter is 11 and has been homeschooled all her life. I am now also homeschooling my two nephews age 6&7, who are developmentally behind. We have tried several approaches (my nephews do not live w/ me, so it is a bit of a different issue.) As of right now, my daughter is trying to get most of her lessons where she needs my attention done before they get here. That could be a possible option w/ your two…maybe start w/ the younger one and get all his work done before big brother starts on his book work. Let him work independently on things where he does not need your attention-reading assignments, music, whatever….or start with the older first and then move on to the little one…you could even ask big brother if he would be willing to do some teaching for little brother, giving you a free few minutes…I have also allowed my nephews to play computer games, leap pads and folder games while I am working w/ another child
I am not very good yet at giving individual attention to each child. that is something I really need to work on. right now it only happens w/ the boys during their individual reading time and for my daughter when the boys are not here…
well, not a lot of help here, but hopefully it can springboard some ideas for you….
November 4th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
This is my life!! I have a 17 year old (currently a junior) and a 4 year old who I just started teaching. That’s a 13 year gap! What saves me is that I really encourage my high school children to be very independent. I very firmly believe that encouraging academic independence is what sets homeschooling apart from traditional classroom education. Homeschooled children OFTEN have an ability to “teach themselves” which is simply not present in children who have been “spoon-fed” their curriculum.
Obviously, the older kids do need help from time to time, but for the most part, I am able to concentrate on teaching my son. Typically, if my daughter needs help, we address those needs in the afternoon or evening after I’m done with Jimmy. For me, what is the most difficult part of starting over with a younger child is that I am now having to work part time and THAT makes it harder to have the time to teach him.
Anyway…I can definitely relate!! Hopefully I have been of some help…at least in that I DEFINITELY understand!
November 5th, 2007 at 11:31 am
I am currently homeschooling my 12 year old (who has been homeschooled from the beginning) and my soon to be 4 year old son who is VERY eager to do all things “school”. My oldest son and I have always been afternoon homeschoolers leaving the mornings for awakening time and household chores, after lunch is when we like to school. The 4 year old has other ideas. As soon as his eyes pop open he’s rarin to go. At first this really threw a kink into our routine but now that I’ve submitted to doing it his way what I’ve found is because I’ve spent some quality/quanity time with him in the morning by the time the afternoon rolls around and Joshua and I are ready to work together, Noah is ready for some quiet time playing or watching a movie or listening to books on tape. I still call it “school” for him and he’s happy with that (he wants to be doing what his older brother is doing). After I cover the stuff that Josh needs me for he is off to work independently (until he needs me again). We do “together” activities like read alouds and projects in the evenings sometimes when Dad is able to join us. On the really bad days when none of this works, I try to remember that’s it’s just a season. Even a year can make a huge difference as far as needs/attention for each child, so we try again the next day and the next and the next. Good luck, you can do it, it just may take some time to find out what works (this year) and then it will change :). Lori D.