Mom Is Teaching

Last night I had to make a last minute run to the store right before it closed. As I was leaving I ran into a man that I once worked with long ago. We chatted for a few minutes in the parking lot before the cold crept into our coats. As I was driving home it struck me that him and I were very different people, nearly complete opposites. Had we first met in high school we would have most likely never spoken to each other. In fact even though I went to a very small school in a very small town there are many students that I graduated with that I most likely never said more than a polite hello in passing to.

We became friends when the summer after graduation and before heading off to college we both worked the evening shift at a local fast food place. It was an odd friendship, one that grew out of necessity. When you are going to be spending 8+ hours a day with someone you have to learn how to make friends, or at least how to be friendly. We laughed and joked as we worked, shared meals if our breaks happened together, and a few times he gave me a ride home from work since I did not have a car.

There we were, total opposites in social class. He was upper class, for our area, I was lower. He played football, was given a new car on his 16th birthday, and only dated the girls who looked like Barbie dolls. I skipped the pep rallies, bought a clunker for $100 that died within a year, and was the farthest from looking like a doll that you could get. And yet for 3 months of summer vacation we were friends, close enough that years later when we bumped into each other in a store parking lot we immediately recognised each other and hugged.

I suppose my point is to question the belief that children must go to school to learn how to interact with people different from them. For all my years in school you only interacted with people who were different if a teacher forced you to by assigning you to a project together. And then it was as brief as possible and you quickly forgot each other once it was done. You had your clique and dared not stray too far from the accepted boundaries (wasn’t that the sub-plot in the High School Musical movie?). There were just some people you would never talk to, and some who would never talk to you. Had my friend and I met in high school I probably would have been that chick with the bad hair who blocks his locker and he the jock who thinks he’s so cool even though he’s not. Luckily we met outside the walls of the school, in the real world where we were free from the social pressures and forged by actually having to work together for an extended period of time.

socialization, friendships

The Boston Globe has a recent article that has many homeschooling families chuckling. Their great discovery is that homeschooling familes do not stay at home all day. Who knew?

Well, anyone that homeschools knew that. And thankfully so does most of the community. The librarians that see us coming in all day, the store cashiers that always question why we’re not in school that day, and our friends who stare when we plop down on the couch and complain about what a busy day we’ve had. For some families the term “carschooling” seems more appropriate as that is where they spend the most of their time.

With the numbers of homeschooling families rising and more and more of us getting out of the house some businesses are finally catching on and providing services during the day. Some are even finding homeschooler discounts offered in hopes of attracting more families in during the slow hours of the day. It bcomes a cycle, the more things we are offered the more we will get out for them, and the more we are out in the community during the day the more services we will be offered.

They’ve got my attention. As long as I can wear sweats, I’m still not going to get dressed before noon.

homeschooling, news, socialization

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I have been reading Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. I am really enjoying reading this book, and a bit ashamed that I did not read it sooner. This is definitely one that everyone should read.

One part that I recently read has stuck out in my mind, mostly because of the recent “socialization issues” that have been tossed at homeschoolers. It was a section discussing some of the emotional and mental health benefits that people gain by being out in nature.

One reason for the emotional benefits of nature may be that green space fosters social interaction and thereby promotes social support. For instance, a Swedish study shows that children and parents who live in places that allow for outdoor access have twice as many friends as those who have restricted outdoor access due to traffic. [p. 49]

My sons playing under a tree in an empty lot.

It should be no surprise that spending more time outside would help one to get more friends. The sunshine and fresh air boosts happiness, and when we are feeling happy we are more sociable. How could you not want to smile and chat with everyone when the sun is on your back and there is a breeze blowing your hair?

We enjoy going outside as often as we can. Most of the time it is just to our own backyard, but there are also daily walks around the neighborhood and trips to the park when we can. Our closest park is all flat grass and huge plastic toys, so we have to make a bit of an effort to get to a park across town that has trees and flowers and a creek filling up the space. But the effort is worth it when I can watch them chasing butterflies and comparing fallen leaves. Sure I’m a bit of a tree hugger so that rubs off on them, but there is also something magical about nature to children.
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13 Things You Didn’t Know Were Educational I think we’ve all been there. Doing something mundane and ordinary when suddenly it becomes a teaching moment for our kids. Who knew that every moment of your day is an opportunity for kids to learn? When you break free from the “learning only happens from 8-3″ mindset the number of moments that we see as educational blossoms. Here are a few of the fun ones we’ve had lately. 1. Watching the moss grow. I know, it’s moss. But the green stuff fasinates my boys. Pull some up from the sidewalk, pull out the magnifying glass, and fire up Google. 2. Pouring a bowl of cereal. “Where does creal come from? Who makes it? Why? Why? Why?” This is why mommy needs coffee in the morning. He’s ready to learn before I’m out of my jammies and fuzzy slippers. 3. Doing the laundry. “Mommy why is your silver shirt so soft? What’s silk? Let’s go find silk worms in the back yard! What do you mean they aren’t out there?” 4. Going to the post office. We’ve got math (paying for postage), history (Why does this building look so old?), and that socializing everyone keeps talking about (Honey, the nice woman needs to get back to work now. You can stop talking anytime now…) 5. Taking a picture. Especially when I go old school and pull out the polaroid. 6. Driving. Anywhere. Especially if you’re packed right. 7. Paying bills. There’s more of the socialization and a chance to be questioned fifty million times if the electric company will really turn off the power if I buy the boys toys instead of paying the bills. 8. Looking through old photo albums. I think explaining why mommy used to dress so funny is a lesson in history, culture, and society that no child should be without. 9. Finding a dead bird on the front porch. Next to a very content cat. That was difficult to explain without tears. My own included. 10. Checking my email. With a pre/early reader in the house I can’t get on for 5 minutes without “What does that spell? What does that say? That’s an E! And there’s a D! And…” 11. Going to the park. Sure it seems like just a bunch of fun, but there are also some great educational moments. Like if you spin mommy too fast on the merry-go-round she will need to lay very still in the grass for at least 15 minutes. 12. Having a baby. Ask anyone with more than 1 child how much their older kids learned by having a sibling. Just changing diapers alone is a learning experience for everyone. 13. Visiting the grandparents. What can’t you learn when sitting on Papa’s lap?

Thursday Thirteen, homeschooling, education, kids, fun

I don’t watch Reality TVso it doesn’t surprise me that I haven’t heard of E!’s new show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Another thing that did not shock me? The 9 year old girl working the stripper pole like a pro. Is it sad that I’ve become accustomed to little girls dressing and acting like hookers? It seems to be the American way: sexualize them young before they have a chance to know what hit them. Sure dad came in and carried her off the pole and stated that it was inappropriate. But the pole is in his room to begin with. And I doubt she bought those sexy high heels she was wearing with her own credit card.

It reminds me of a post that Lee from Absolutelee wrote a while back. How To Turn Your Daughter Into A Whore In Two Easy Steps. The first step is “Enroll your daughter in public school.” While I doubt the girls in this show are enrolled in a public school, the fact is they have been more than assaulted by the over sexualization of girls and women in our culture. When a school teacher can fondle a 5th grader’s breast (does she have breasts at that age???) and keep his job for 40 more years the sexualization of America’s girls is certainly floating around in the mainstream of our schools as much as it is in Hollywood.
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I thought I could, I really tried. But when it comes down to it there’s a part of me that just cannot walk away from a debate. Especially one that riles me up as much as homeschooling does. Bryan over at Sympathy Pain doesn’t like homeschooling. That’s fine, really. It’s not going to be for everyone. But his reasoning is just, well… not steeped in reality. More like the same old myths that keep being brought back up. And then he goes into parenting that just pushed my buttons.

So in my failed attempt of walking away (hey, can’t always be the bigger person) here’s my breakdown of his arguments. (more…)

I was tipped off on this great shirt store online by The Thinking Mother. Suddenly I’m wishing I was rich. They have the best selection of shirts, bags, and bumperstickers - all about homeschooling. There are so many shirts I would love to have! I think especially this one:

I might have to buy several so we would have a clean one to wear every day. Or at least on the days when we go somewhere that “the question” is bound to come up. What’s great is that the cloths aren’t priced too badly either. I’m a sucker for bargain kids clothes so if I can get it low cost I’m going to be happy. They have a great selection for both kids and moms, with even some “Future Homeschooler” shirts for the littles ones in your house.

GreatHomeschoolTShirts.com, homeschool t-shirts, homeschool shirts

I’ve talked before about kids using online programs for homeschooling, but since then I’ve thought a lot about homeschool kids online in general.

There are a lot of parents out there who blog about homeschooling their children, but there is also a growing number of homeschooling kids who are blogging themselves. Some use social sites such as MySpace or Facebook and some set up their own blogs at places such as Blogger and Wordpress. The level of maturity out there on the web makes me wondr a bit about how these kids handle the web. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying homeschooling kids are not mature. Actually it’s the rest of the world that often seems to be lacking in maturity.
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Are homeschoolers trying to hide something?

Homeschooling rates in the UK are up according to an article from the Channel 4 news:

Channel 4 News Online reveals that the number of children being schooled at home has risen by more than 60 per cent in the past five years.

More than 80 per cent of education authorities reported hikes in the number of children being educated at home, according to the Freedom of Information (FoI) probe.

In one area the increase was as big as 800 per cent; with campaigners blaming bullying, special needs provision and too many school tests as reasons for the national hike.

But is there an ulterior motive behind this?

But Channel 4 News online has also learned that some schools and parents are using home education as a method of avoiding truancy prosectuction and poor league table standings.

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I know, social leper that I am I have missed most of the hubbub about this movie coming out: The Brothers Solomon. I like to think that I’ve missed it because we limit TV time here, but I’m sure someone can find a way to tell me it’s because homeschoolers all hide under rocks.

THE BROTHERS SOLOMON tells the hilarious story of Dean and John Solomon (Will Forte and Will Arnett), two good-hearted but romantically-challenged brothers. When they find out their dying father’s last wish is for a grandchild, the brothers set out to find someone to have a baby with. But after spending their formative years being home-schooled by their father in a remote arctic location, their social skills prove to be somewhat lacking and their attempts at fatherhood go hysterically and disastrously wrong.

Now, it could be that they are lacking in social skills because they grew up IN THE ARCTIC, but apparently the real reason is because they were homeschooled. Because all homeschooling families isolate their children in such a way that can be compared to the arctic. Right?

Maybe that’s not the point this movie is trying to make, I don’t know. But some of the conversations I have read about homeschooling in regards to this movie would sure make one think so. Remember when RV came out and many compared homeschoolers to the socially inept kids that the main family kept running into? Apparently this is much, much worse. I’ve been told it is the Dumb and Dumber of today, except no one watched that movie and assumed all public schools kids drove giant dog vans.

But maybe I’m taking it too far. After all I haven’t seen the movie, and I am admittedly a bit touchy in the subject of homeschoolers=unsocialized. So I’m open to opinions? What do you think about The brothers Solomon and the image it gives homeschoolers?

homeschool, The Brothers Solomon, socialization

Friday’s question was written by a mom who was worried about not having a good homeschooling community around her to be a part of. She was unsure if her kids would get plenty of chances to interact with other kids. I got some great comments from other homeschoolers on this question.

For some public schools offer more chances to be with other kids, and that is seen as a definite bonus. But for those who want to homeschool this can feel like a set back. What can you do if you live in an area that is not overflowing with other homeschoolers? Sharon J. gave a great comment on this:

What do kids in your area do during the summer months when school is out? If they are in sports or park district programs in the summer, it is a good time to meet the kids (and parents) and work out playdates during the school year.

If you really want to meet other homeschoolers, keep your eyes open. When you go to the library during school hours, do you ever see a parent with kids? Ask them if they homeschool. Your librarian may also know of others in your area. Keep you eyes open other places too. I know I like to run errands, like grocery shopping, etc., when school is in session and people are at work, so I can avoid crowds. We often meet others who homeschool doing the same thing.

Don’t overlook the internet as a source of networking and support as well. There are numerous yahoogroups where homeschoolers can meet and network with others that might be just one town over. For some who are truly isolated, the internet can be a valuable source of support from your virtual homeschooling friends.

When I made the choice that I was going to homeschool I did not know a single other homeschooler in my area. From my own experiences in school I knew that the mysterious “socialization” was not a major part of public schools as is thought. Sitting in a room with 25-30 other students that I cannot talk to is hardly a social experience. Because of this I was not worried about a lack of time playing with friends, I knew that would not happen in school either. I also knew that there would be plenty of time to play and make friends at the same time the children in school do. After school, weekends, breaks, and summer would provide plenty of free time.

And, as I am finding out, there are more homeschoolers in my area than I knew. They aren’t going to be running around with signs hanging from their necks, sometimes you will have to search for them.

homeschool, socialization, friends

Last night I had the chance to sit and enjoy the company of a group of amazing women. One brave soul finally organied a local homeschool meeting that didn’t require driving out of town to attend and we were all shocked by how many did show up. There were old hands as well as newbies. Moms with kids in public schools who worried about pulling them out and moms who took their kids out and never looked back. They talked, they shared, they discussed, I stood out of the way because I had kids to chase and I’m almost painfully shy. LOL

So this weekend’s “Ask the homeschoolers” question seemed to have fit in perfectly. I couldn’t have timed this one any better and I can’t wait to hear everyone’s answers to this.

I am going to be homeschooling my children this year and I am worried about their interaction with others. There are no other homeschooling families here that I can find. It is a very small area and nearly everyone sends their kids to the public schools. Should I be worried? I read about other homeschoolers doing fieldtrips and having playdays and huge get-togethers but it seems that won’t be us.

homeschool, homeschooling, socialization, friends

In some areas homeschoolers are alowed to join in the local schols sports teams and in other areas homeschoolers are creating their own teams in order to play sports. For many children when either of these two options are available they are thrilled. But what if the parents aren’t?

I was inspired by this post over at tiny grass, Sports - Do kids really need them?. Trish lists several great reasons why she does not want her children playing organized sports. In a comment to her post one person mentions bonding with peers as a reason to participate. As Trish responds “I believe that an appreciation for the interaction of multiple ages is what brought me to homeschooling.”

In sports, as also in a classroom, teams are groups by age and stick closely together. Of course there is some safety to this. No one wants to see a five year old trying to play football with teenagers. Even trying to be safe there is a chance of the smaller, younger child getting hurt. But does that mean he should only be allowed to play with other 5-6 year olds? Would a friendly neighborhood game work just as well as an organized team would for building bonds, getting exercise, and having fun?

I admit to being a bit biased against sports. My experiences in high school were that those who could run, jump, and throw a ball were not expected to strive as academically as those who could not. And yet they were treated as though they were. The year I graduated, in fact, our school’s wrestling team took state while those on the team were given free rides in most classes and the wrestling coach himself did some rather shady things while others looked the other way. The school itself often moved funds into the athletic areas leaving the academics to wait.

How do you feel about homeschoolers and sports? Should homeschooled children take advantage of organized sports programs available to them? Should they enter the public and private school teams if they can, or stay with local teams made up of homeschoolers exclusively? Or do you prefer to stick with less formal sports activities?

school, sports, education, homeschooling, homeschoolers

It’s been talked about before, the theory that homeschooling will help parents steer their children away from negative examples that they may find in public schools. Despite some who are anti-homeschooling arguing that this is sticking out kids in a bubble, many homeschoolers feel that this is allowing children to mature at their own pace without being pressed by peers to go too far too fast.

But are there some areas of negative influence that homeschooling, or any kind of parenting, just can’t fight?

Denise from Fast times @ Homeschool High wrote an amzing article for BlogHer called Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters. It is a review of the book which is a powerful read of mothers and daughters and the negative body image that can drive them to the edge. What stuck out was a comment Denise left in response to another comment:

And I can understand how you feel when people say they are “bad” for eating something like a bagel. Totally get that - and agree and understand. I my children would never say it - but they do, my oldest daughter says it a lot. I have no idea where she picked it up ’cause she’s certainly never heard me say it.

Of course Denise is dealing with teenagers who are certainly more capable of picking up things from the world around them than younger children. But it made me wonder if homeschooling can really combat some of the negative things in the world we don’t want our children exposed to too soon. Even away from the peer pressure in schools, the social pressure for women to be thin and beautiful beyond reality is everywhere.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there are just some thigns that will creep in no matter how we guard our children? Is that necessarily a bad thing?

socialization, negative influences, peer pressure, homeschool

I was tipped off by Lee that I might be interested in one ofhis more controversial blog posts. How To Turn Your Daughter Into A Whore In Two Easy Steps Now if the name of the post hasn’t shocked you enough you might be interested to know that Lee is a public school teacher himself. That’s right, this damning thought came from someone who works inside the schools themselves. Personally I find that interesting, as most often it has been assumed that those who feel similarly are anti-school. But this is clearly not the case here.

Now ignoring the parts about piercings, says the homeschooling mom with tattoos and piercings ;), he makes a great point at the bottom of the post. Emphasis mine.

This is all part of a larger problem our society has. Parents have shifted their parental responsibilities to the school systems. We’re not only charged with teaching kids how to read and write, but how to act, too. Well, even though I currently work for a school system, I’m not much of a big government person. Nobody’s going to raise your son or daughter as well as you are. Don’t think it’s going to happen by itself. The negative influences available to kids these days are one hundred times as powerful as any of us had to deal with when we were kids.

As I was reading this I found myself nodding. My sister-in-law is a teacher at the local middle school. The stories I have heard often leave me slackjawed. Children who are rude, disrespectful, hateful even because of parents who did not take the time to guide them better. Though, from some of her accounts the parents are not often any better. More than once has she had to dal with students refusing to do their work, only to be told by the same child’s parents that her role was really nothing more than a free babysitter. Usually not in such nice words, of course. While there are many parents who do care about their children’s education, there are still those who do not care. They hand their children over, expect them to get what they need, and do not want to be bothered with it themselves.

It reminded me of a recent post over at Principled Discovery, Is it even possible to fix our education system? Dana always has the most insightful post I have ever read in her blog. Here is an important quote from her post.

We want our education system to take the responsibility for the failure of individuals.

If Johnny cannot read, we want it to be because the school district is using the wrong methodology. Because his teacher isn’t paid enough. Because he doesn’t have access to a computer. Because the text books are out of date. Because the school’s nutrition program isn’t extensive enough. Because the state’s welfare program isn’t large enough. We don’t want to accept the fact that, despite our best efforts, some will fail. Some of those failures may go on to do great things. Many more likely will not.

Unfortunately, no matter what we as a society do, it is unlikely that little Johnny will learn to read until his parents value his education highly enough to get involved. But that is a little difficult to mandate.

No matter how we look at it, we are stuck with treating symptoms. Parents ceased taking responsibility for the education of their children a long time ago. Instead of educating them, they turned them over to the factory or allowed them to run the streets. Organizations developed for the health and safety of these children, creating the beginnings of free and compulsory education. The responsibility for the children was thus handed over to the local school district. It wasn’t up for the task so the state took an increased role. As the states fail, we see increasing federal involvement.

education, public school, parents, parental responsibility, children