Mom Is Teaching

Many of you remember Luke from his post here.  He was chastised a bit for the promotion at the bottom of his post, but the point is, he wrote a great article.  And, as I said, we’ve been bantering back and forth for some time now.  Just as I said in the intro of that post, he reminds me more and more of my husband every day. 

Anyway, can you all see I am having a tough time staying on topic lately.  My own son’s issues at school are making me unhappy.  Him?  Not so much, but me?  Most definitely.  My husband?  Yea, him too.  But, again, back to Luke and I.  We’ve been “chatting” about the post where education is given such an ugly look. 

I’m quoting him here and no, I didn’t ask him but I’m sure he won’t mind, especially since it makes so much sense and all. 

“Kids need to get the message that an education is worth working for,” is flawed because “education” is a vague, important sounding word without a definition… thus, there is no reason for kids to be “working for” it at all. None. I don’t want my kids to have an “education,” I want them to love learning, to have the knowledge and skills they need to do what they are designed to do. And if kids love learning, there won’t need to learn that they need to buckle down and “work for” it.

Does school have to be so much like work?  I mean, in my opinion, it is a kid’s job to play and learn, but not work.  And, when I say it is like work, I wonder why it has to be work for the whole family?

I’m not trying to get out of my parental duties.  No, really, I’m being silly here but I’ve discussed this with most homeschoolers here, I don’t feel like I could adequately educate my son at this point.  I have a confidence problem, maybe. Or, I could be right. 

But, the point is, if you homeschool, you know the work involved.  You know what is planned, what the days, weeks, months ahead hold.  If you rely (like me) on the public schools to educate your child, should you be required to work two jobs?  You know, your real daytime job and then that as your child’s teacher at night? 

And, who ever thought that a kid should have two jobs?  Go to school all day and then come home and have school half the night?  See, I said I wasn’t going to keep re-visiting this topic but people just tempt me every way I turn.

So, let me get this straight.  We all get up at the crack of dawn, boy goes to school, parents to work (whether it be work as the parent of another child and house keeper duties for your own family or a j-o-b outside the home, parents go to work) and then………we come home and we all have to work some more.  Is this the way the whole notion was conceived?  I think not.

But, just to prove it to you…..(I’m back on beating a dead horse, I’m so sorry, blame it on my visit to the doctor(s) this week) see what else I found in the magazine……..

I’m suppose to do all this after sending him to public school and spending tons of money just in three months…

• Read to my child every day, ask him what happened first, middle and last, ask him how he felt about it (he is reading to me…..duh…)
• Use songs and nursery rhymes, word play, rhyming games, etc (we’ve done that since they were born, do I need to be told to do this?)
• Find different ways numbers are used, telephone books, measuring cups, calendars, clocks, house numbers and scales (really?  If I have to listen to him count to 100 one more time I may collapse.  Who can take more?)
• Explore shapes, in the street, by opening boxes, examine dishes, pots, baking tins and the cupboard itself (heck, I’m just amazed he knows what a stove is used for..never mind all that other stuff)
• Make a shopping list, ask him to help at the grocery store (I try to go alone, the one of few hours I get to be alone even if it is with a bunch of people)
• Listen to my child, help him to learn to listen, take out a listening walk together, point out quiet and loud (my kids only know loud by the way)

Ok, I’m all for the last one, I’ll listen and I’ll certainly try to teach him about quiet, they both have loud down to a fine science.  But, really, my parents didn’t do all that stuff with me in addition to sending  me to school and “heck far i buleve i turnt out ok”, no?

Remember, I’ve done my time as a parent, I’ve done my time in the public schools as a teacher, I’m currently doing my time as a parent of a child in a public school, I’ve owned a daycare and I’ve been a daycare parent….I think I’ve run the full gamete of educator positions with the exception being a homeschooler and I prefer to think that all that “stuff” we do each day with the “3.95 year old kid that is not potty trained”* is partially considered homeschooling.  If not, I am quitting, I’m tired of counting already but he really makes me angry wanting to learn his brothers site words…just kidding, I’m proud of his desire to learn but man, it is harrowing and that’s what scares me the most about homeschooling (but not getting into that again here, shut me up.)

So, with that, I’ve found a little guide at Ladies Home Journal regarding What Teachers Want Parents to Know.  I am totally assuming that this is public school teachers….and I’m sure you will as well.

1.  Read to your children.  (Ok, duh)

2.  Share family news with your child’s teacher.  (I try, I did tell her about the possible vision problems we learned of yesterday)

3.  Give your children chores to do at home.  (I did this without thinking of it as chores simply because I’m selfish and I refuse to pick up every sock, towel and pair of underwear that don’t make it to the laundry hamper.)

4.  Share organizing ideas with your child.  (Child number one is like his mother, an organizer by nature…the “3.95 year old who is not potty trained”?  All we know at this point is he is stubborn.  BAH)

5.  Follow up on teacher’s recommendations.

Ok, so out of all of those, notice I didn’t comment on number 5?  Why is that?  Because as much as I respect my son’s teacher, the work she sends home is way below his skill level so we don’t necessarily do it “her way”.  Secondly, on parent night, I asked her if she had noticed a very important problem with his “sounds” regarding the letter “T”.  Her reply was no.  How could she not notice that when he is asked what sound that letter makes, he says “sssssssssss”? 

I don’t mean that necessarily in a bad way, except, he has to be Dibeled and the more letters that slip through the cracks, the less he does.  He has benchmarked out of kindergarten and well into first grade, I’m not worried, but I do want to make sure these issues don’t get missed.

If you are looking for more tips, check out the article and see what you think?

How many of you would like to argue this point right here:

The problem is, many parents don’t make sure the extra work actually gets done, according to a 1999 study by Public Agenda, a New York City-based public-policy research group. That’s unfortunate, because “Kids need to get the message that an education is worth working for,” says Diana B. Herrera, who teaches gifted students at Henry B. Gonzalez Elementary School, in San Antonio.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Because I cry 50 % Way to Go and 50 % Bah.  It needed more explanation.  My parents made me work for my education and I learned how important an education was/is.  However, they did not monitor my homework, NEVER.  NOT.AT.ALL. 

So, go ahead, discuss it!

* regarding “3.95 child who is not potty trained - he has no disabilities except he is stubborn as snot!

Last night I went to the first of what I figure are many birthday party’s that I’d rather have skipped out on. This one was in a church gym and it boasted “bring your basketball”. Well, we don’t own a basketball. All in all, this little party, that wasn’t even for one of my cherubs ended up costing us about $50. Long story why, but it just did.

But, the luck comes in that several parents where there from Walker’s class and the discussion of “The Alabama Ballet” and “Cinderella” came up. I learned that Walker’s teacher only had 5 kids confirmed to go. Now, if she only has 5 and she thinks that Walker can go and she can be the one hoarding him along, then I may actually change my mind and let him go. Notice I said, “I may”. I have yet to confirm with her that this is the case and if indeed she will be in charge of her class of less than 6 or 7 or if she will be sattled with 10 more from someone class besides her.

Problems, oh problems. More advice, what would you do?

Ok, so about that field trip to The Alabama Ballet.  I’ve mentioned this more than once, and I’m going to say it again and I mean it, Walker really has a good teacher.  I took a few minutes to explain to her my concerns about my son being in such a big place (in Birmingham at The Alabama Ballet) with so little supervision. 

She said that she was the same way the year before when her daughter went to the same place as a first grader and that several students weren’t going for the same reason.  She also said that they would have the special education teachers with them along with the regular teachers so it should really be more like 12 teachers and less than 200 students.

That’s better than it originally sounded but I’m still not sure.  Walker is a wanderer and if he isn’t being supervised closely, he could easily wander off and get lost (as could any child, but my little socialite really never meets a stranger).  His teacher agreed that his personality did lend itself to someone taking him because he is so friendly and that she did understand.

She also let me know that she did not sign up for this field trip for the kindergarten, this was done last year by another teacher and she was merely carrying out the plans because of scheduling something another’s.

It doesn’t really matter to me the why or any of that, what matters is this, she understood my apprehension and agreed that if I didn’t want him to go it was reasonable to feel that way.  Another parent agreed that her child would not be going on this field trip and that she doesn’t even allow her oldest (12 or so) to go on field trips like this one where parents aren’t allowed. 

I feel better about it but I don’t know if he will go.  After all, it is to see Cinderella.  Will that matter to my son?  I doubt it, he would go and love it just for the sake of socializing, trust me, he is that much of a talker.  But, how many five year old boys really want to see Cinderella? 

Am I way off on this?

This is a great tale of learning about spiders, a trip to the zoo and you got it, no public school in sight.

Ok, so a lot of what we all have discussed here is a big deal to me.  But, when I mention it to folks around me, they act like I have bumped my head.  For instance, I expect my mother to roll her eyes at me, she didn’t put anything into my education as far as homework goes, nothing ever, I did my own my homework, it was my job, and that’s just how it was. 

And, to be honest with you, that’s how I think about it now.  It’s the kid’s job to go to school.  But how many adults out there work their regular shift at work and then come home and do that same job for another hour without pay.  Does that make sense?  The kid is 5, he doesn’t need one full time job and one part time job.  He needs one job - go to school and learn.  He needs the rest of his time for himself. 

Ok, I know you all already agree with me on this.  But, I got started on it because of the whole, “going to see Cinderella” thing.  Parents can’t go.  So, I asked why.  Verbatim the note that came back to me says,

“K-2 grades will be going on trip.  The Alabama Ballet only allows students/teachers due to limited space. Thanks”

Now, I’m really concerned.  Why?  That’s approximately 200 kids and 6 adults.  How does that sound to you?  Not only that, they want me to put him on a school bus and let him ride over 100 miles one way to do this.  With no seat restraints of any kind. 

Yet, when I questioned this, others look at me like I’m nuts?  Is it because I’m old?  The other parent in the class that I know is a little older than me doesn’t have issues with this because her son won’t ride the bus.  He is afraid, so he simply won’t go on field trips.  So, she doesn’t even concern herself in the least.  The rest of the parents (and I’m gonna nail some tomorrow at this “help paint paper-bag pumpkin” day) look at me like I have lost my mind.

Now really, is that not a bit odd or is it just me?

Ok, I’m summarizing this one.  This one basically says that the Alabama Department of Public Health wants to see all the blue slips on file at the school.  If I am willing to let them see my child’s blue slip, ok, if not, then I have to sign this note and send it back.  Come on, really.  Once I gave the doggone thing to you them, what difference does it make…ugh. 

Now, I know why they  need us to bring so much freakin paper at the beginning of the  year, because the waste it on stupid crap like this.  Here’s the kicker. 

Let’s just say, for instance, that you have a child in 1st, 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade, you will get a copy of this letter 6 times.  No, they can’t just send the letter home with the oldest or youngest child, they make copies and your one family gets 6 copies.

That’s true for things like monthly menus.  You get six copies of it.  Not one, but six.  Why?  What the heck is up with wasting the tree’s?  The menu is printed in the local paper every Sunday in the first place.  That wouldn’t cost a dime in paper for the kids see if their parents get a paper. 

And, if they don’t get a paper, on Monday morning, the Sunday’s paper is left at school, they could cut it out and take it home.  But, nope, they make six copies for one family and send them home.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I have to share because I also had to write notes back to the school…..sorry, but please, chime in and tell me what you think.  I don’t want you to think I’m doing this to bash public schools, I want to know is this normal?   If you homeschool, is this part of the reason why you started homeschooling.  If your kids go to public schools, do you get these kinds of letters EVERY DAY, and does it not bother you?

One thing before I start, the deadline for paying for the first field trip hasn’t even got here yet.  My kid’s is paid but the deadline isn’t until Friday.  And, then today, we get this…….take notes….there’s a quiz at the end…

*********PLEASE RETURN TOMORROW**********

October 7, 2008

Dear Parents,

We are planning a field trip to see the play, Cinderella, on February 20th.  We will be going to X University in Birmingham. 

We need to know how many students will be attending this trip.   Due to limited number of seating, parents will not be able to attend.

We feel this will be a great experience for our students.  Please let us know whether or not your child will be attending.

Thank you!

Kindergarten Teachers

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1. How much is this trip going to cost?

2.  I need to know that before I can tell you whether he is going or not?

3.  Why can’t I go?

4.  Who is going to chaperone besides the 3 teachers?

5.  If there is limited seating, you can add my seat in with the count when you do the kids since we are doing this so far in advance, right?

6.  And, speaking of that again, how much is this trip going to cost?

7.  And, are you telling me that I can’t go to a public function even if I pay my own way?

8.  How well do you think that is going to go over?

9.  Do you realize you are telling me you are taking 60 5 year old children with 3 teachers to Birmingham (90 miles one way) to see a play and no one else will be going to chaperone? 

10.  What happens if someone kidnaps my kid and you don’t even realize it?

11.  And, you still say I can’t go along?  To a public place?  If I provide my own transportation?  And pay my own way in?

I filled out the form by putting “maybe” in the slot that said, “My child will be attending this trip” and asked why I can’t go along under the circumstances I mentioned and if that is still the rule, no my child will not be going.

Add to that the fact that my child rides in a seat belt in my automobile all the time, and you want me to let you put him on a great big school bus with 59 other kids and 3 adults AND NO FREAKING SEATBELTS OF ANY KIND?

I must stop, my blood pressure is going to cause my head to explode.

I need your thoughts, please, not just the homeschoolers opinions, I want your opinions, don’t get me wrong, but I want to know what the public school students are doing.  What are those parents thinking.   How are they handling this?  Please, tell me!

How many of you remember me discussing the silent lunch ordeal?  It’s here if you wanna read it.  I have to add what happened after the fact.  I told his teacher on Friday morning that he was spanked for getting in trouble.

She, in turn, tells me that Ditto Boy was being sincere.  He did not understand what had happened.  This means he was punished and he was clueless.  Now, I know that’s unacceptable if you are an adult, but I feel like total crap now. 

See, he told me he didn’t know it was silent lunch.  And, I called him on it assuring him that his teacher was very clear when it was silent lunch and when it wasn’t.  I asked him if he wanted me to turn around and go back to the school to talk to her.  And, he got upset and said no.

I thought that was truly an indication that he was trying to get out of more punishment.  When, in fact, he was right. On Friday when I picked him up (most everyone checked out early to go to the local football teams homecoming parade), she told me that she talked to him about it and that he really was confused.

Apparently I was too.  The entire class did not have silent lunch, but because Walker and another little boy were too loud, they were moved to seats away from one another and given silent lunch.  However, they didn’t comply with the rule at that point.  (This is where his teacher assures me that he did not know he was on silent lunch, he just thought he was suppose to be moving away from his friend). 

And, since he did continue to talk, he lost his 15 minutes of PE.  And, he lost 30 minutes of play time at McD’s with his brother AND he got a spanking.  Now, tell me I don’t deserve the Mother of the Year award!  Bah!

I’m cross posting this on my Marital Talk blog for obvious reasons.  Or at least I think they are obvious.

It relates to activity level of children and also their sleep habits.  You knew I couldn’t let it go that easily didn’t you? 

TCAH quotes an Early Childhood Education Professor named Olga Jarrett,

“When kids are not allowed a chance to be playful, that playfulness tends to come out in negative, disruptive ways.”

I see this every day.  If Jace stays home with me, we stay indoors, he plays, I write, we read a book, we play, we eat, he plays, I write, we take a nap and when Walker gets home from school I swear it is like someone has fed him a hyper pill.  And, in the end, he gets in trouble.  Then, it is bedtime and he gets in more trouble.  It is a vicious cycle. 

Then, days like today (and most of this last week), the boys have played outside after Walker got out of school and Jace has been to my mom’s and played out doors some as well.  They come in, eat, take a bath and go to bed - exhausted.  And, they sleep well, remember.

Winter time is hard because it is more difficult to get him out and about for long periods of time and I’m sure it will affect Walker as well being cooped up in a classroom.

The bottom line goes like this:

an active child that gets the necessary physical activity does better when asked to do quiet activities and rests better after a day full of activity, mental and physical - pretty simple formula if you ask me.

My opinion goes back to a prior post where I said that my parents felt like it was my job to go to school and do homework and they didn’t intervene.  I feel very much like that.  The only job children should have is playing and learning and the more you can make learning look  like playing, the better off you and the child will be in the long run. 

Ok, stepping off my soap box.

I’m going to be brief mainly because I’m going to discuss this in more detail on my Mental and Emotional Health blog and I did just cross-post a big one so, no need in getting in trouble over multiple content.

For now, my last thoughts on Part One of TCAH go like this:

• do you think it is coincidence that the academic pressures increased and now we have more children with mental health issues?
• do you think that having a child move rapidly from one unrelated subject to the next makes learning more difficult?

Of course it isn’t coincidence and of course it is difficult.  And, then we want to go and blame it on the child when we, as adults, should know better, right?

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My last parting thought goes like this (just for Part One mind you),

“…..other kids drive themselves - but that doesn’t mean they’re enjoying the learning process.  “All my daughter cares about is her grades….for her, it’s not ‘this new Greek unit is really interesting.  It’s all about the number of points she can get.  She just crams the information, then drops it like a stone as soon as the test is finished.  She isn’t having fun, so good grades are her only reward.  I’m worried it won’t be enough.”

Let me say that that person being interviewed in that last paragraph could have been written by either of my parents.  And, you know, what, I’m living proof that the answer to her fear that “it won’t be enough” is that no, it won’t, it simply won’t be enough.  One day, information will need to be retained…and cramming and forgetting won’t work.

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With that, I’m stepping off my soapbox and I’m going to learn and hopefully teach you a few methods on how to make some of this stuff go away!

And, here all this time, I thought we were suppose to be encouraging our children to get more exercise and what happens when an extremely active kid gets in trouble for being extremely active?  We tell him he has to sit out half of his running, ripping, hollering, having-a-good time class (PE).

Well, hells bells, how much sense does that make?  I’m so disgusted.

I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time letting go of this.  Honestly, I don’t like to cross post but this is hitting me right in the gut, that would be the 200 pound gut that I have even though I have a degree in physical education.  And, what difference does it make how smart you are and how fat you are if you happen to be fairly active, you are gonna be sitting out on the most important class of your elementary school years…PHYSICAL EDUCATION.  Do the words “social skills” ring a bell to anyone?

And, you know what, there aren’t a lot of ‘good’ physical education programs around anymore.  Because when funds were cut, teachers were cut and that’s the first ones to go.  So, the classroom teacher, who happens to just hate the outdoors is suppose to taking them out for “recess” for 10 minutes each day.  BOLONY.

Recess is a piece of crap and I happen to believe that the physical education teachers at my son’s school are doing a good job and have in the past…with the exception of them letting the elementary teachers bully them into allowing children to be punished by missing PE.

All I can say, is this is one mama bear that is simply not happy.  And, if you can’t tell from the dialog in this post that I am not unhappy, you need help.  I am almost as pissed off about this as I am about the status of homework.

I don’t want to be some radical mother-freak who flips her lid every time something happens at school concerning my child.  I don’t want to be that parent that the administrators can’t stand to talk to, but doggone it, do your job, do it right.

And, you know what, I can say that, I have a degree in physical education and I taught in 3 very good programs, one of which I had to build my freakin’ self from the ground up so I know what good quality physical education is about so when I get up in your face about it, don’t get pissed and tell me I don’t understand because OH YES INDEED I DO UNDERSTAND. (Officially the longest run on sentence in the blogosphere) In this one, I understand.  I know much more than I ever let on. 

I would like to maintain my dignity, my professionalism and my sense of compassion here but this issue pissed me off when I saw it on the “Discipline List” at orientation.  It didn’t take me this long to get mad about it.  I’m not simply fired up because it was my child.  I’m fired up because it is many children every day. 

And, here’s one more piece of my mind because I’m obviously leaving it all here for you……if you are taking part of my child’s whopping 30 minutes a day that he has to play and be rowdy, then I’ll be damned if you are sending homework home with him and expecting me to sit him down.  I’ll tell you right here and right now, I’ll politely send a note back that says,

“We did not do our homework.  Unfortunately I understand that Susie missed part of her physical education time because she was misbehaving.  If she is misbehaving, please deal with it in another manner (or even call me for assistance if you need to).  Therefore, we will not be doing this homework because we are out playing in the yard making up for missed PE time.  Obviously if she missed some time out of that class, she needs to make that up and in my opinion, we will need to get that make-up work completed first.  See you at the playground.”

Ok, shutting up now before I beat the keys on this keyboard slap to death.

I’d have to dig deep into my archives on my personal blog to find some stories and how they relate to sleep…and wait, I’ll just go do that….

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ok, here

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here

and….well I’m too lazy to keep searching, but I did find this and this 

so the following should come as no surprise to you…

 

“Children between the ages of five and twelve need 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night, teens need 9.25 hours and as any parents know, many kids need more.”

But a study by the National Sleep Foundation’s 2004 Sleep in America Poll, many kids are seriously sleep deprived.

On a personal note, for the last few weeks, my children have played hard, Walker at school then outdoors after school and Jace has been running and ripping like wild all day, napping some days (which he needs) and not napping others.  And, when bed time arrives, they give us the usual rift raft about “I want to play this game or that game or read one more book” but once we get them in bed and tucked in, they are out like lights.  I mean OUT LIKE LIGHTS.

My oldest son, Walker, doesn’t require as much sleep as his brother.  He is definitely his father’s child in that respect.  Even as a baby he didn’t need as much sleep.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he gets by on less than 9 hours, but he can on an occasion swing an 8 hour night as long as he isn’t doing it night after night.

Jace however is his mothers son for real.  He requires a lot of sleep.  He doesn’t even argue about naps, he will be 4 in November and when I say nap time, he runs and gets in my bed, blink, blink…sleep.  At night, he would do best if he could sleep 10 or 11 hours.  He doesn’t always get it but when he doesn’t, he will sleep 3 hours during his nap. 

People, sleep deprivation will kill you.  Knowing that, why would you put that kind of pressure on a child? 

I don’t get it.  Do you?

Here’s another sleep story!

I have a lot of thoughts trying to spew from my head into my hands and onto this keyboard right now.  Therefore, let me add my disclaimers right up front.

Disclaimer Number One:  I am frustrated, aggravated, confused and maybe even angry.  Sometimes when I’m like this, posts seem to disappear without warning after I have calmed down.

Disclaimer Number Two:  I very much want my children to be educated in the public school system.  I guess what I really want is the education system to straighten their act up while I attempt to get  the act of my child together.  I really don’t think I am cut-out for homeschooling.  My mom even said as much yesterday.  Geez, she’s a real motivator uh?

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Ok, so simply by the act of convenience, my mom has been taking Walker to school and/or picking him up for over a week.  He has remained a Purple Bee (that’s the highest level of good) in the hive for the last 10 days.  Today, today I figure it was time for Jace (3.75 year old) to get out of the house for a change (and me too) so I prepared to pick Walker up at school (you know, like I bathed, brushed my teeth and make the kiddo put on some clean clothes).

When Walker’s teacher opens the door for him to get inside the automobile, he notices that it is me, his mommy instead of his All-Wonderful Nanny, who is retrieving him from school and he started crying.  I issued orders to stop crying because I had a surprise.

Before I could reveal our plans to come to McD’s and play (while I work), he burst into tears again with, “but I got a Yellow Bee”.  Yellow would be directly under green so of course it isn’t horrible but we have been laying down the law about this when it occurred in the past.

With that, I opened his folder to read that they were having “silent lunch for half of lunch today and Walker would not cooperate and missed half of his physical education class”.  (not verbatim, but you get the idea - and Walker said up front that she moved him to a place alone during lunch because he wouldn’t quit talking).

This will take bullets for me to dissect:

• Why do they have silent lunch?  They sit in a room, in a chair, paying attention (hopefully) and working quietly (hopefully), so why do they add silent lunch in there as punishment.  Sorry, I don’t see that as a good punishment or even as an idea.
• They only have like thirty minutes for lunch, so that’s plenty of time to eat for 15 minutes while being silent (no talking with food in your mouth at least) and then 15 minutes to at least socialize a little, geeez! (I have a post coming on my own social skills).
• He was moved to a table to sit alone for the remaining 15 minutes.  So, he was punished.  Right?
• He missed half of physical education class.  Wait, he has already been punished, right?  He was made to sit alone for not following the silent lunch rule.   So, why is he now missing half of physical education?  And, why are the physical education teachers (and you know I am a physical education teacher with a B.S.) allowing the teachers to use the child’s physical education time for punishment?  They only have 30 minutes for physical education.  Why take fifteen minutes of it away?  Don’t these kids need to play?  Get rid of some excess energy?  Release the energy bundle so they can go back to class and “sit quietly”?

I’m going to say this first and foremost.  When I taught physical education class, it was a ground rule I set between the teachers and myself that my time with their children was not to be taken away from them for punishment.  I was not carrying out their punishment nor was I going to take away the child’s time to be free, run and exercise.  I had to go through the principals at various times because teachers didn’t want to comply, however, how do you think they would have felt if I had sent this note back to class with little Johnny?

“I am keeping Johnny in physical education class for an extra fifteen minutes because of his behavior.  Please excuse him of any math work he may miss during that 15 minutes.”

How well do you think that would go over?

Yea, I know, it wouldn’t!

So, what did I do.  I didn’t think it was fair to Jace to just say, “ok then we aren’t going to McD’s” so I told him that we were going and he would sit and watch without playing.  Yes, I know, I mentioned that he had already been punished.  But, in my world, punishment at school means punishment at home, no matter the crime.  And, it’s not up for debate, so don’t go there.  please? 

Once we arrived at McD’s, he ate and then I told him he had 15 minutes more to sit out without talking and he would get a spanking when we arrived at home. 

Side Note:  Again, don’t even go anywhere on a tangent about spanking.  I do believe in corporal punishment when a child is old enough to understand it, knows and understands the reason for the punishment and it is NOT carried out when the person dolling out the punishment is angry. 

I called my husband to verify that this would be sufficient.  He agreed.  I’ll let you know how it all works out.  I had already planned to take Walker to school myself in the morning because of errands and such, but now I will be going inside.

Why am I going inside?  I want he and his teacher to understand that we (the parents) will not accept his behavior as such.  But, we (the parents) would like some consistency..punish the child once please, do not repeatedly punish him for the same misbehavior. 

Lastly, Walker was telling me that he didn’t know it was suppose to be a silent lunch.  They had silent lunch for half of the time last Friday when I was there so I know my son knew it was suppose to be a silent lunch.  I let him know that I knew he was aware of the “silent lunch” rule.  He repeated again that he didn’t know.  I stopped the truck and asked if he wanted me to turn around and go back to school and ask the teacher about this.  (I know he knew, but I had to call his bluff).  He decided that no, indeed, he did not wish to go back and that he did, indeed, know that it was suppose to be a silent lunch.

Either way, I will go inside with him tomorrow morning.  I will make it clear how I feel and then I’ll let you guys know if I have any hair left.

Discuss.

I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t get in trouble at school.  I was obedient, respectful and I knew that teachers and administrators had the most authority.  So, if my respectful and obedient actions holds true, I will turn into what is deemed a “helicopter parent”.

Definition of Helicopter Parent:  Parent(s) that hover over their children, scooping them up before they can make a mistake. 

What is the end result?  Children who become adults and cannot cope with failure.  Does any of this start to ring true for you?  Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish put into words the very things I’ve tried to say many times.  I’m just a bit wordy (you know, like I talk too much).  They accomplished putting into words so many of my thoughts, it is odd. 

TCAH quotes a parent as saying, “We made our daughter do the homework even though we didn’t believe in it because we were obedient parents, which I really regret, and because I was worried about what would happen to her.”

Sound familiar?  Don’t we all do this to some degree in one facet of our child’s life or another?  But, the homework issues don’t have to go that far.

Another parent was quoted as saying, “Homework seems to have supplanted teaching.  Whatever the teacher hasn’t finished becomes homework”

What does that mean?  That means that the parents are expected to take up the slack.  And, if this is the case, I’d rather homeschool any day so I could work on my time frame as opposed to allowing someone to half-way do their part and want me to pick up the pieces in a hour or two in the evenings…all at the expense of the child.