Mom Is Teaching

My father was a teacher, an educator and he was good at it.  He used his educational skills to parent me and most people didn’t realize how good he was at what he did.  Most people thought he was too lenient.  They thought he let me get away with too much.  In the end, I was a good kid.  I’ve heard my mom say that my first 20 years were much easier than my last 20.  Yet, she never agreed with my father’s methods. 

They had divorced when I was 4 and she despised him.  That’s another story all together and it didn’t matter what he believed was best for me, she was going to oppose it, just out of principal.  Unfortunately, the last 20 years, she has been unhappy with my behavior more often than not.  My father died just 1 month prior to my 20th birthday. 

So, does that say that he did a good job when he was alive because I was a good kid or that he screwed up and that’s why my life as an adult hasn’t been all roses.

Either way, this wasn’t what I was planning to talk about.  I was planning to discuss the ability to teach.  I too have a degreed in education.  I am no where near the parent my father was, I can’t seem to channel my academics into my parenting gig.  Actually, truth be told, I wasn’t very good at discipline when I taught school either.

I told you all that to say, it’s Father’s Day, my dad was a great dad, he was a good teacher, a good parent.  Regardless of what my mother thought, or anyone else for that matter, he was a good and I just want to say Happy Father’s Day to my dad…even if he isn’t hear with me now…he will always be with me.

As I query through my emails and I look for support in some of my internet endeavors, I run back into people that I have worked with before and it is most joyful for them to remember me.  And, so, when I sent Alan Jordan and email, he remembered me.  I was absolutely thrilled to know that he not only remembered but offered me the opportunity to review another book.  Well, how can anyone turn that down?

Here’s the meat of his email and I’m going to get my email out so I can get something to read and review because…they have adult books too.

You did one book– The Monster on Top of the Bed - a CD with multi-cultural aspects, and you wrote an honest review that helped me to position it as a "Discovery Edition," prior the next year’s release of the standard (read tall, with hard cover) edition that features English, Spanish, Italian and French translations.
We publish e-books that foster’s children’s creativity, like Zoom! and Fluffy a book by 7-year old Ella Winchester.  We go one step further.  We offer parents the ability to make extra money by selling books.  All they need to do is click on the [Sell This] button, and then let people know why they like the book.  In fact, they don’t even have to buy a book to sell it.  All they need to do is know enough about the book to explain to people why they should buy it.   See http://www.lbcllc.com for details.  This is especially true for webmasters and bloggers, who can put a widget on their site, next to a book review.
Not every book is a children’s book.  For example, we sell How EVERYONE Can Get Great Job Interviews, a .pdf file that let’s people copy-and-paste the dialogue they need to get job interviews.  It also helps people pinpoint their value before they make that first crucial sales contact.  Yes, that’s right, getting a new job is selling your ability to help a business prosper to a business decision maker.  In the near future, we are introducing a course entitled Integrity Based Selling, Marketing and Job Seeking.
With many parents out of work, our books and courses can help parents avoid stress, improving the lives of countless children.

Don’t wait, get yourself a copy, even with the recession as it is, your children deserve the best..and you can always use your local library and if they don’t have these books, ask them to get them.

Ok, so onward with the story from here.  So the field trip to the zoo in Mississippi is off because it is not in the state of Alabama.  Or so that’s what we were told.  And if you remember we were told that the Cinderella tickets were purchased last year and parents couldn’t go because the Alabama Theater wouldn’t allow but one adult for every 15 students when the truth came in from the Alabama Theater, it was quite a different story. 

Then this whole trip was canceled and we were given on reason why but I couldn’t find but one person who was allowing her child to go and that was because she is the special education teacher for that age group and she was going.  So, I have to know, if they bought the tickets last year, where did they throw that money when they cancelled the trip all together?  Just sayin’

So here we are, we aren’t going to the Tupeslo Zoo because it isn’t in Alabama and well again, I just wonder if there was a reason why they didn’t realize that this particular zoo was NOT in Alabama.  So, with that, I assume we are headed to the zoo in Alabama, right?

No, not going to the zoo in Alabama….instead…they are going to the bowling alley.   UH?  So, someone mentions that there were some smelly questionable people at the bowling alley where they grew up and …hahaha that’s not the kind of education I was thinking my 6 year old would be getting just yet.

Am I nuts?  I am not saying one word about it.  My kids have been begging to go bowling and I have a cast on my foot still so erm….we haven’t been able to take them.  But, you know, I wasn’t actually planning on my child attending a bowling alley for a school field trip.  And you?

Do you see any relation?  Or educational value?  Or is it just time to let them go ahead and have some fun?

What would you do?

I hear alot about helicopter parents and then I witness the direct opposite with my trips to the ball field.  And, to be honest, I see quite a bit of helicopter parenting as well.  I think if I had been a parent when I was younger, I would have been a helicopter parent for sure.  But, now, I’m so much more laid back, I’m like, whatever, as long as the kid’s not hurting, not hurting anyone, then it’s probably some kind of learning experience right?

There’s a cute online quiz that labeled me as a casual parent.  Of course, that’s kind of what I would have said and in reality, I think it’s very true.  You should try the thing just for fun, you never know what you might find out about yourself. 

Edu-Parent Quiz provided by DreamBox Learning a kindergarten, 1st grade and 2nd grade math game.

My kids aren’t really old enough just yet to be hitting the on-line sites.  They do have a few games they play but as for surfing?  No, thank goodness.  Just listening to my buddies who have children who are starting to want email accounts, facebook pages and the like, makes me a little scared. 

But, if you are looking in all the right places, you can find good cyber-control or Cyber-Patrol if you will to help you protect your children and prevent them from just running up on pages they need to be immune to for a few more years. 

It isn’t that hard to run up on pages by accident either because I’ve done it myself.  So, if you lave a kid in charge of his own surfing and searching, he/she could easily find pages that are simply too mature for them.

So, go find you a place to help your kids surf safely.  What about the Cyber Patrol I mentioned earlier.  I was fortunate enough to get a year subscription to check out the product.  And, it works quite well and for that matter, I tried to beat it.  I tried to disable it and it was no easy task. 

As a matter of fact, I’ve been trying for a week to no avail.  I only wanted to uninstall it because I’m an adult and my kids don’t play on my computer……but trust me, it’s not as easy as one might think.  And, I happen to know that most kids know more about hacking than we think but even my husband couldn’t get in to this one.  So, yea Cyber Patrol…

Ok, so you know, my son is reading and we are slackers around here.  We let him read what he wants more so than just doing his “sight words” homework.  Which in some cases is bad, I know.  We are setting up some bad habits.  But, thus far, he has done really well and I like to hear him read books instead of pop off words that have no meaning.  If you want to know how to help educate your child though, you can always use the following list to get your child started.

I have to say that I want my kid to succeed.  I want him to be top of his class.  I want him to make the best grades he can make.  But, I refuse to pressure him the way I was pressured as a child to make good grades.  To do better than the next kid over and to do better than those girls who I knew I could get one-up on them by simply beating there scores. 

There was that one girl in particular who bullied me.  Maybe she bullied me because I made better grades than her, but either way, it caused me to have ulcers.  So, anyway, if you think you can encourage your child without causing ulcer, here’s a list of the 100 Most Common Sight Words as take from Family-Homework-Answers.

100 Most Common Sight Words

1. the
2. of
3. and
4. a
5. to
6. in
7. is
8. you
9. that
10. it
11. he
12. for
13. was
14. on
15. are
16. as
17. with
18. his
19. they
20. at
21. be
22. this
23. from
24. I
25. have
26. or
27. by
28. one
29. had
30. not
31. but
32. what
33. all
34. were
35. when
36. we
37. there
38. can
39. an
40. your
41. which
42. their
43. said
44. if
45. do
46. will
47. each
48. about
49. how
50. up
51. out
52. them
53. then
54. she
55. many
56. some
57. those
58. these
59. would
60. other
61. into
62. has
63. more
64. her
65. two
66. like
67. him
68. see
69. time
70. could
71. no
72. make
73. than
74. first
75. been
76. its
77. who
78. now
79. people
80. my
81. made
82. over
83. did
84. down
85. only
86. way
87. find
88. use
89. may
90. water
91. long
92. little
93. very
94. after
95. words
96. called
97. just
98. where
99. most
100. know

Do you think you can give me some Motherhood Lessons?  I know if I find the right parents, I can get the right set of lessons.  And, I’m going to approach this Me Me a bit differently on this page.  I was fortunate to got to Blissdom and I am over-whelmed with all the work laid out before me now.  And, I know that is true of so many other bloggers.  So, for this post, I’m going to give you my Motherhood Lesson, just one and in a sentence or two.  Then, I’m going to ask some of the wonderful women I met this weekend to add just one motherhood lesson to the post in the comments section.

Now, if I don’t ask you, it certainly isn’t intentional, I’m barely holding my head up right now so just bare with me and as with every post here, always feel free to comment regardless of a direct invitation. 

So, I will start the Motherhood Lesson Me Me off with my one liner:

1.  Teach your children to respect their elders.

I’m not going to list the women who I am tagging here just in case they don’t want their information out there so publicly, but I am going to email them this post and see if I can get some replies to go with my one….then i will be a “you plus me makes we*” Me Me. 

*I totally stole that blog name from my cousin.

Ok, start thinking you never know when the email will hit your box….

Cindy from Mom Talk asked me if I would like to participate in a Me Me and I am one of the few people who actually likes these.  Especially when I am either having a lull in entertainment or I’ve had so much going on that I don’t know where to start.  So, without further ado, you are getting a Me Me from Me.

This is by far the easiest one I’ve ever taken part in because there’s a topic, but not a number of items to give and really, no rules.  With that, the rules are….

Share with us and your readers a lesson that you learned from your own mom, a special mom in your life, or while raising your own children. There’s no right or wrong answers…just lessons that each of us can learn and implement with our own children.

Link your post back to this one, leave a comment below so we can visit and learn from you, and then tag 2-3 other moms to participate.

And, I’m thrilled that this is so open to allowing me to tell what I want to tell about parenting, motherhood, and children and do it on my own terms.  So, what I think I will discuss with you is the fact that the time has come for everyone to take a step back and teach our children to respect authority.  Allow our children to learn from their peers, from their teachers, their parents, the policeman on the corner, the firemen, the minister, the cashier at wal-mart, respect the adults in your life.

Now, I know that there are some bad people out there.  And, that is the parents responsibility to teach the children the difference in good and bad but in general, if our children are taught to respect authority figures, their minister, the janitor at their job, their peers, their bosses, etc….then I think our children, our teens, our young adults, the next generation that will be leading our world will know how to make better decisions. 

If children are taught to respect the people who are good to them, it will be easier for them recognize and stay away from the adult figures who are up to no-good. 

So, please, go out, teach your child to respect and teach them to do it through your own actions.  Make it work, one way or another.

I’m only tagging one person and if you read any of my other blogs, you’ll see who I tagged…..it will be quite a surprise.

On Wednesday I had managed to successfully boost my confidence enough to take the lessons my father had taught me and go to the airport, get on a plane, fly to Miami and make my way around.  No one to lean on but myself.  No one to talk to but strangers. 

On Thursday morning I dress up nice.  I fixed my hair and put on make-up and began to make my way down down the street to the convention center which was only a mile away.  No reservations what so ever as to my ability to walk a mile.  For those of you who remember, I could walk about 6 minutes on the treadmill when I gave up a month or so ago.  (I didn’t really give up, time just ran out – more on that later).

Either way, I was depending on no one.  I wasn’t taking a cab because I didn’t need to, I could walk.  I could follow directions and I could ask strangers for assistance without reservation.

But, I couldn’t however walk along the designated route AND tweet on my phone.  The excitement was overwhelming and I was busily twittering away my experience.  I don’t have a lot of memory about the exact moments prior to the accident, I just remember laying  flat on my face in the middle of the street with on-coming traffic in several directions.  My $5 sunglasses in one direction, my phone in another and people surrounding me trying to help.

I had stepped off the curb and not onto solid ground.  I twisted my ankle and I flew across the street in an attempt to keep my balance.  I landed in the middle of the street.  I was embarrassed more than hurt I thought.  People helped me up, assured me that I wasn’t dirty and I hobbled on across the road. 

Once I was safely off the road, I even tweeted about the fall.  My left foot was hurting.  It was hurting a lot.  But, I was NOT missing this conference.  I was half-way there, I could make it.  I continued to walk.  I went to session after session and I ate lunch and then attended more sessions.

Finally realizing that I had to get back to the hotel before I could crash and that the pain in my foot was worsening and I was obviously hobbling more now than I had earlier, I made my way outside.  This involved lots of steps.  Lots and lots and lots of steps….it was hard.

I sat down on the concrete slab and in a moment, I was completely confused as to what in the world I was going to do.  How was I going to get to the hotel.  I was I going to get to food for dinner, somewhere, but how? 

I knew that once my shoe was off, my foot was going to swell.  And in the length of time it took me to take off my shoe, put it in my bag and call my husband, tears began to stream down my face.  In that moment, I had no idea how to take care of myself.

I managed.  I had another meltdown when I realized that I had missed my flight and that time, in tears, I begged my husband to just “please do this for me, figure it out and tell me what to do”.  And he did.

I do know how to fish, but sometimes, we all need a partner to toss the line for us.  And, my father taught me the art of independence, but he also taught me the art of knowing when to say when.

I know this is going to be the last thing you equate to teaching a man to fish but, that’s just what came to mind when I started to write, so, that’s what you got.  You may or may not know that I went to Miami Florida on Wednesday to a Social Networking Conference.  I won the registration which was $2K at the door.  It was cheaper if you purchased earlier and of course, I never would have been able to go, even at the early bird rate of $1250, but I won my spot and I went.

I had no reservations what so ever of getting on a plane, flying to Miami, hauling my own bags, making my own way, making my own decisions and going to this conference, alone.  There was someone who had also won a ticket that I had chatted with but I had not made  true “connection” with them and didn’t expect to even meet them simply because the conference was so huge. 

Now, jumping around a bit here but one of the things that I remember my father (who passed away when I was 19 and I had been my primary "care giver” if you will, since I was 13 – just me and him in the house alone) telling me was that one of the most important lessons he wanted me to learn was to be independent.  And, he did everything within his power to ensure that I could take care of myself.  He was sick and lived 13 months longer than they told him he would.  During that time, he made what I believed to be ridiculous statements to me trying to teach me “how to make it on my own.”

He knew he didn’t have long.  He taught me how to change a tire, how to balance a checkbook and how to fill out and file income tax returns.  He MEANT I would not need anyone.  I would be more than self-sufficient.  And, I have been for the most part.  I suffered here and there on occasion, but for the most part, I’ve never had to lean on anyone.

Until now that is.  I depend on my husband to make a living for our family.  I could work.  We did just sell a daycare remember.  I have a teaching certificate and I could work, but right now, my work is at home and that’s a decision that my husband and I made together. 

Since I’ve rambled on, I’ll tell you the rest of this life lesson tomorrow, but the jest of everything I have to say goes back to some of the things that I mentioned when I first started authoring this blog and that is “education comes in all forms, not just from what is traditionally thought of as “school” and “teacher”’. 

More next time….

I took my first class in college on Teaching Reading Techniques.  And it scared the begeeezes out of me.  I am not kidding.  It caused all sorts of trauma.  I knew then, that without a doubt, I did not want that responsibility.  I have plenty of relatives (older ones all be it but still people I know well) who can’t read.  How is that possible?

And, when I started learning all the various methods of teaching a child to read, or even an adult, I started to freak out.  Seriously, the biggest issue I have right now with homeschooling is how in the world would I ever teach someone to read.  I am not kidding. 

The reason this subject is resonating within me so much right now is my son is not learning to read through using phonics.  He simply is not phonetically inclined.  He can sound out words until the cows come home but he can’t then blend the sounds.  He did his Dibels and he excelled but the fact of the matter is, when he gets to a word he doesn’t know, it is a major headache. 

Site words, he can do those.  He knows those, he can remember those, he can read anything that contains the 100’s of site words we’ve been through.  And, he can “guess” really well using the context of the sentence already, but phonics?  Nope, he can’t do it. 

So, what’s our other option?  I know his teacher doesn’t have time to cater to his particular need, but I do.  I have plenty of time to help teach him to read…if I weren’t scared to death of the whole prospect.

I don’t know if I have ever mentioned here but anyone who has emailed with me probably already knows it, but I have 10 blogs.  Two are sitting idle doing nothing, 2 are for advertising and celebrity gossip and get very little attention and the other 6, I am actively pursing.  And, if you get email from me, you see all the links in my signature. 

Last night I joined some women (and a few men) for what was known as "girls night out" (and some gents night out) on twitter for a big party.  Now, let me say that there was very few women or men in this big party that I had ever chatted with before.  But, I made some great contacts and some excellent information was put in my little pea brain.

Now, have I ever mentioned that I have about 200 blogs in my feed reader.  Have I ever mentioned that I rarely stay caught up.  On New Year’s Eve I about 7:30 or 8:00, I opened Bloglines and saw that I had 938 feeds in my reader.  So, I set a lofty goal of reading all of them by midnight and commenting on at least one third of them.

Let’s just say…I might would have been able to have read them all but I was tweeting and commenting and thus that little goal was not obtained.  I did finish up some time New Years Night and I did comment on almost 1/3 of them. 

So, I told you all that to say this, of all the blogs I read, I often run up on great websites that I want to share with you all but I don’t want you to think I found them on my own.  I mean, that would be real noble of me to make you think I’ve been sitting around all day researching this for you, uh?

Well, anyway, I opened my Bloglines earlier today and it was back up in the 300’s.  So, I started reading with my goal to comment on 1/3.  But, again, I got side tracked and I’m still working on that.  But I did find an awesome website courtesy of a blog I read by a woman name Yvonne.  She just goes by Y and her blog is Joy Unexpected.  She also has a weight loss blog but I can’t find the name of it or find it right now (I will though).  Anyway, she had this website featured on her blog and I’m merely passing along information, I’m certainly not going to take credit for find it.  Although, it is wonderful and you would all think I was great if I had found it myself.  Oh well, sorry.

The name of the website is Born Learning and you have to go check it out.  It is chalked full of information and I really spent way too much time over there.  Remember my goal was to read 300 posts and comment on 100 but..no, I’ve been on that site perusing the stuff.

If you have children, chances are you’ve suffered from sleep deprivation at one time or another.  And, if you are like me, you enjoy reading books where parents spill their guts regarding their own problems. 

Anyway, if you would like to be part of a webcast held exclusively by mommy blogger Jennifer Waldburger, a pediatric sleep specialist and therapist.  She is the co-author of The Sleepers Condition.

So, go here and sign up and don’t forget, November 12 at 2 Eastern Time…we can always use some advice on sleep.

A couple of months ago I received a book entitled Alabama Early Learning Guidelines from the Alabama Department of Human Resources.  I’m sure I was on their mailing list from my recent daycare ownership.  Either way, I’ve found some really good stuff in the book that is worthy of sharing.

Today’s edition is just as the title suggests, about oral health.  Here’s a few thoughts that most of us probably already know subconsciously but to make an effort daily and to help our children improve their own oral health is important. I remember being a youngster and hating the toothpastes that we had in our home. I’m sure there were some out there that were much more tasty but nothing like today’s versions of toothpastes. I’m amazed every time we go to pick out new toothbrushes and toothpaste. Who in the world thinks up this stuff?

• A child’s dental care begins before birth.  The teeth develop during the 4th month of pregnancy.  Wiping babies gums with a clean damp cloth after feeding will remove the plaque and bacteria than can harm erupting teeth. 
• A child should see a dentist by his or her first birthday.  (This is a commonly debated issue in my area.  Our local pediatric dentist (yes, we only have one) doesn’t recommend seeing patients until they are at least three).
• Eating smart is good for the child’s teeth and foods like raw vegetables, fresh fruits or whole grain crackers and breads are lower in sugar and have more nutritional value than some of the more common foods that children prefer.

So, yea, see, you probably already knew all that, but sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder or two thrown in for good measure.

Many of you remember Luke from his post here.  He was chastised a bit for the promotion at the bottom of his post, but the point is, he wrote a great article.  And, as I said, we’ve been bantering back and forth for some time now.  Just as I said in the intro of that post, he reminds me more and more of my husband every day. 

Anyway, can you all see I am having a tough time staying on topic lately.  My own son’s issues at school are making me unhappy.  Him?  Not so much, but me?  Most definitely.  My husband?  Yea, him too.  But, again, back to Luke and I.  We’ve been “chatting” about the post where education is given such an ugly look. 

I’m quoting him here and no, I didn’t ask him but I’m sure he won’t mind, especially since it makes so much sense and all. 

“Kids need to get the message that an education is worth working for,” is flawed because “education” is a vague, important sounding word without a definition… thus, there is no reason for kids to be “working for” it at all. None. I don’t want my kids to have an “education,” I want them to love learning, to have the knowledge and skills they need to do what they are designed to do. And if kids love learning, there won’t need to learn that they need to buckle down and “work for” it.

Does school have to be so much like work?  I mean, in my opinion, it is a kid’s job to play and learn, but not work.  And, when I say it is like work, I wonder why it has to be work for the whole family?

I’m not trying to get out of my parental duties.  No, really, I’m being silly here but I’ve discussed this with most homeschoolers here, I don’t feel like I could adequately educate my son at this point.  I have a confidence problem, maybe. Or, I could be right. 

But, the point is, if you homeschool, you know the work involved.  You know what is planned, what the days, weeks, months ahead hold.  If you rely (like me) on the public schools to educate your child, should you be required to work two jobs?  You know, your real daytime job and then that as your child’s teacher at night? 

And, who ever thought that a kid should have two jobs?  Go to school all day and then come home and have school half the night?  See, I said I wasn’t going to keep re-visiting this topic but people just tempt me every way I turn.

So, let me get this straight.  We all get up at the crack of dawn, boy goes to school, parents to work (whether it be work as the parent of another child and house keeper duties for your own family or a j-o-b outside the home, parents go to work) and then………we come home and we all have to work some more.  Is this the way the whole notion was conceived?  I think not.

But, just to prove it to you…..(I’m back on beating a dead horse, I’m so sorry, blame it on my visit to the doctor(s) this week) see what else I found in the magazine……..

I’m suppose to do all this after sending him to public school and spending tons of money just in three months…

• Read to my child every day, ask him what happened first, middle and last, ask him how he felt about it (he is reading to me…..duh…)
• Use songs and nursery rhymes, word play, rhyming games, etc (we’ve done that since they were born, do I need to be told to do this?)
• Find different ways numbers are used, telephone books, measuring cups, calendars, clocks, house numbers and scales (really?  If I have to listen to him count to 100 one more time I may collapse.  Who can take more?)
• Explore shapes, in the street, by opening boxes, examine dishes, pots, baking tins and the cupboard itself (heck, I’m just amazed he knows what a stove is used for..never mind all that other stuff)
• Make a shopping list, ask him to help at the grocery store (I try to go alone, the one of few hours I get to be alone even if it is with a bunch of people)
• Listen to my child, help him to learn to listen, take out a listening walk together, point out quiet and loud (my kids only know loud by the way)

Ok, I’m all for the last one, I’ll listen and I’ll certainly try to teach him about quiet, they both have loud down to a fine science.  But, really, my parents didn’t do all that stuff with me in addition to sending  me to school and “heck far i buleve i turnt out ok”, no?