Mom Is Teaching

Do you read to your children?  Sure you do.  We don’t read to our children as much as we should I don’t think but, Walker is now reading to us so we have slacked off more than we should.  I was fortunate enough to be able to read and review LetsBeCreative and their CD and book of The Monster on Top of the Bed.

Yea, you read that right, the monster ON TOP of the bed.  Sometime I think my child is a monster and he scares me too…and I don’t live under his bed.  We first let the boys enjoy the book/CD combo on Saturday morning before his basketball game.  I knew he would be up at like 7 AM and he didn’t play until 10.  But, it was his first game, and well…you know…excitement…it gets the best of you. 

So, I baited them with “another surprise before the game that’s even better”.  It worked.  So, instead of asking every 5 minutes if it was time to go, I set them up with a copy of the book and the CD.  I let the CD do the reading and Walker held the book so that he and Jace could both see.

We didn’t hear from them again until it was time to get ready to go to the game.  After the game, we (and 900 other people) went to a restaurant with a play area for the kids to play while we used their wi-fi.  It was horribly crowded and the boys were begging to leave.

We managed to eat and stay an hour or so and then they started having birthday parties and it just got to be too much.  Finally, Walker had a grand idea, “let’s go and we can listen to our CD on the way home”. 

Ok, you got me kid.  Let’s go.  You can go to their website, LetsBeCreative and get the CD and the book for $20.  You can even order extra book for $3 each that way, you won’t have kiddo’s arguing over who is going to hold the book.  Which…my kids did argue, but Jace is pretty good with his big brother being the one who “knows how to read”. 

Believe it or not, Walker has listened to the CD with the book several times and I’ve heard him trying really hard to read the book to his brother without the CD already.  Can’t get much better than that!

And, here’s one really cool addition, you can download the audio online, put it on your mp3 and then use a wireless transmitter to play it in your car for the kids.  Oh, yea, friends, there’s all kinds of way to make this one work.

I received this email from Julia Pionowski asking me to pass the information along.  I had plans to really write a good post, but this neck and TMJ issue is about to do me in.  So, I’m simply sending along a copy of her email for you to check out.  Enjoy!

I really appreciate the insights about parenting and education that you share on Mom Is Teaching. I thought that you and your readers might be interested in a new resource from the Federal Trade Commission – introduced just this morning – that parents can use to educate their kids about today’s marketplace: www.ftc.gov/YouAreHere.
With interactive games and activities, the site teaches kids aged 8-12 to think like consumers and to understand marketing and advertising techniques. Animated guides Emily and Isaac help kids navigate a virtual mall and learn basic economic concepts. Kids can play games and learn practical tips at the same time. And since it’s produced by the Federal Trade Commission, parents can trust that it is a safe and reliable site for kids.
Check it out, and encourage your kids to try it as well. If you like the site, please let your readers know about it. Feel free to link to us and to share any of our resources.
You can find a news release with more detailed information about the site here: ftc.gov/opa/2008/10/ftcsite4kids.shtm.
Thanks very much, and please feel free to contact me with any questions!

Many times I don’t fully look through content, I simply receive the emails and then post the information. This was one that I’m not real certain about but figured that it was best to let you as parents make up your own mind whether this is a site you are interested in.

I know I talk alot about my son’s incessant talking and all that jive that goes on at school.  And, I don’t know how much I’ve mentioned the youngest one at “3.95 years old and not potty trained” but I’m signing him up for a boarding school or military school starting next week.

I’ve always made lame jokes about my children.  The firsts ones started when Walker learned to talk and I would comment that “I will be sitting in his kindergarten room with some rope and duct tape just to keep him out of trouble”.  And, so, he proved me so very right and he talks all.the.time. 

Side note here:  He has earned a seat at the real table with his real classmates for almost 2 solid weeks - wohohoooo

Anyway, my last joke went something like, “Walker didn’t want me to go into school with him on the first day but he really is a social butterfly, but you will see me here when Jace is in the third grade trying to leave with him holding onto my pants leg screaming”.

If that happens, I’m blaming…me I guess, but dang, I need someone else to blame for something, I took the blame for having a kid that talks too much.

And, my present joke involves the fact that Jace is going to military school because “Walker has to finish law school before he can start talking Jace’s way out of jail”.  And, with that, I’m telling you, the kid has re-visited the terrible twos at the ripe age of “3.97 and not potty trained”.

HOWEVER, cause you totally knew there was a however coming, right?

Tonight when we arrived home, the boys had stripped down to underwear for one and pull-up for the other and were enjoying the fruits sugar of their labor night.  Someone knocked and Walker answers the door in his underwear.

This is where he exclaims: “OH MY GOSH!  What a BEAUTIFUL PURPLE BUTTERFLY!”.  The mother of the butterfly apologizes and says she didn’t realize we had kids.  In the meantime, Walker and Jace are begging the butterfly to take candy from their stash (”mah stash” as Jace called it).  Her mom would have nothing of it.

But, hey, at least I know my boys have learned a few things:

1.  Recognize a pretty girl when they see one (Ok, that was what Wayne said they have learned).

2.  To share (although Walker wouldn’t get his bag of candy out of the truck at Nanny’s house after Trick or Treating because he didn’t want to give her any).

Well, dang, they haven’t learned too much have they?

Ok, so about that field trip to The Alabama Ballet.  I’ve mentioned this more than once, and I’m going to say it again and I mean it, Walker really has a good teacher.  I took a few minutes to explain to her my concerns about my son being in such a big place (in Birmingham at The Alabama Ballet) with so little supervision. 

She said that she was the same way the year before when her daughter went to the same place as a first grader and that several students weren’t going for the same reason.  She also said that they would have the special education teachers with them along with the regular teachers so it should really be more like 12 teachers and less than 200 students.

That’s better than it originally sounded but I’m still not sure.  Walker is a wanderer and if he isn’t being supervised closely, he could easily wander off and get lost (as could any child, but my little socialite really never meets a stranger).  His teacher agreed that his personality did lend itself to someone taking him because he is so friendly and that she did understand.

She also let me know that she did not sign up for this field trip for the kindergarten, this was done last year by another teacher and she was merely carrying out the plans because of scheduling something another’s.

It doesn’t really matter to me the why or any of that, what matters is this, she understood my apprehension and agreed that if I didn’t want him to go it was reasonable to feel that way.  Another parent agreed that her child would not be going on this field trip and that she doesn’t even allow her oldest (12 or so) to go on field trips like this one where parents aren’t allowed. 

I feel better about it but I don’t know if he will go.  After all, it is to see Cinderella.  Will that matter to my son?  I doubt it, he would go and love it just for the sake of socializing, trust me, he is that much of a talker.  But, how many five year old boys really want to see Cinderella? 

Am I way off on this?

Ok, so a lot of what we all have discussed here is a big deal to me.  But, when I mention it to folks around me, they act like I have bumped my head.  For instance, I expect my mother to roll her eyes at me, she didn’t put anything into my education as far as homework goes, nothing ever, I did my own my homework, it was my job, and that’s just how it was. 

And, to be honest with you, that’s how I think about it now.  It’s the kid’s job to go to school.  But how many adults out there work their regular shift at work and then come home and do that same job for another hour without pay.  Does that make sense?  The kid is 5, he doesn’t need one full time job and one part time job.  He needs one job - go to school and learn.  He needs the rest of his time for himself. 

Ok, I know you all already agree with me on this.  But, I got started on it because of the whole, “going to see Cinderella” thing.  Parents can’t go.  So, I asked why.  Verbatim the note that came back to me says,

“K-2 grades will be going on trip.  The Alabama Ballet only allows students/teachers due to limited space. Thanks”

Now, I’m really concerned.  Why?  That’s approximately 200 kids and 6 adults.  How does that sound to you?  Not only that, they want me to put him on a school bus and let him ride over 100 miles one way to do this.  With no seat restraints of any kind. 

Yet, when I questioned this, others look at me like I’m nuts?  Is it because I’m old?  The other parent in the class that I know is a little older than me doesn’t have issues with this because her son won’t ride the bus.  He is afraid, so he simply won’t go on field trips.  So, she doesn’t even concern herself in the least.  The rest of the parents (and I’m gonna nail some tomorrow at this “help paint paper-bag pumpkin” day) look at me like I have lost my mind.

Now really, is that not a bit odd or is it just me?

Ok, I’m summarizing this one.  This one basically says that the Alabama Department of Public Health wants to see all the blue slips on file at the school.  If I am willing to let them see my child’s blue slip, ok, if not, then I have to sign this note and send it back.  Come on, really.  Once I gave the doggone thing to you them, what difference does it make…ugh. 

Now, I know why they  need us to bring so much freakin paper at the beginning of the  year, because the waste it on stupid crap like this.  Here’s the kicker. 

Let’s just say, for instance, that you have a child in 1st, 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade, you will get a copy of this letter 6 times.  No, they can’t just send the letter home with the oldest or youngest child, they make copies and your one family gets 6 copies.

That’s true for things like monthly menus.  You get six copies of it.  Not one, but six.  Why?  What the heck is up with wasting the tree’s?  The menu is printed in the local paper every Sunday in the first place.  That wouldn’t cost a dime in paper for the kids see if their parents get a paper. 

And, if they don’t get a paper, on Monday morning, the Sunday’s paper is left at school, they could cut it out and take it home.  But, nope, they make six copies for one family and send them home.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

How many of you remember me discussing the silent lunch ordeal?  It’s here if you wanna read it.  I have to add what happened after the fact.  I told his teacher on Friday morning that he was spanked for getting in trouble.

She, in turn, tells me that Ditto Boy was being sincere.  He did not understand what had happened.  This means he was punished and he was clueless.  Now, I know that’s unacceptable if you are an adult, but I feel like total crap now. 

See, he told me he didn’t know it was silent lunch.  And, I called him on it assuring him that his teacher was very clear when it was silent lunch and when it wasn’t.  I asked him if he wanted me to turn around and go back to the school to talk to her.  And, he got upset and said no.

I thought that was truly an indication that he was trying to get out of more punishment.  When, in fact, he was right. On Friday when I picked him up (most everyone checked out early to go to the local football teams homecoming parade), she told me that she talked to him about it and that he really was confused.

Apparently I was too.  The entire class did not have silent lunch, but because Walker and another little boy were too loud, they were moved to seats away from one another and given silent lunch.  However, they didn’t comply with the rule at that point.  (This is where his teacher assures me that he did not know he was on silent lunch, he just thought he was suppose to be moving away from his friend). 

And, since he did continue to talk, he lost his 15 minutes of PE.  And, he lost 30 minutes of play time at McD’s with his brother AND he got a spanking.  Now, tell me I don’t deserve the Mother of the Year award!  Bah!

I have a lot of thoughts trying to spew from my head into my hands and onto this keyboard right now.  Therefore, let me add my disclaimers right up front.

Disclaimer Number One:  I am frustrated, aggravated, confused and maybe even angry.  Sometimes when I’m like this, posts seem to disappear without warning after I have calmed down.

Disclaimer Number Two:  I very much want my children to be educated in the public school system.  I guess what I really want is the education system to straighten their act up while I attempt to get  the act of my child together.  I really don’t think I am cut-out for homeschooling.  My mom even said as much yesterday.  Geez, she’s a real motivator uh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so simply by the act of convenience, my mom has been taking Walker to school and/or picking him up for over a week.  He has remained a Purple Bee (that’s the highest level of good) in the hive for the last 10 days.  Today, today I figure it was time for Jace (3.75 year old) to get out of the house for a change (and me too) so I prepared to pick Walker up at school (you know, like I bathed, brushed my teeth and make the kiddo put on some clean clothes).

When Walker’s teacher opens the door for him to get inside the automobile, he notices that it is me, his mommy instead of his All-Wonderful Nanny, who is retrieving him from school and he started crying.  I issued orders to stop crying because I had a surprise.

Before I could reveal our plans to come to McD’s and play (while I work), he burst into tears again with, “but I got a Yellow Bee”.  Yellow would be directly under green so of course it isn’t horrible but we have been laying down the law about this when it occurred in the past.

With that, I opened his folder to read that they were having “silent lunch for half of lunch today and Walker would not cooperate and missed half of his physical education class”.  (not verbatim, but you get the idea - and Walker said up front that she moved him to a place alone during lunch because he wouldn’t quit talking).

This will take bullets for me to dissect:

• Why do they have silent lunch?  They sit in a room, in a chair, paying attention (hopefully) and working quietly (hopefully), so why do they add silent lunch in there as punishment.  Sorry, I don’t see that as a good punishment or even as an idea.
• They only have like thirty minutes for lunch, so that’s plenty of time to eat for 15 minutes while being silent (no talking with food in your mouth at least) and then 15 minutes to at least socialize a little, geeez! (I have a post coming on my own social skills).
• He was moved to a table to sit alone for the remaining 15 minutes.  So, he was punished.  Right?
• He missed half of physical education class.  Wait, he has already been punished, right?  He was made to sit alone for not following the silent lunch rule.   So, why is he now missing half of physical education?  And, why are the physical education teachers (and you know I am a physical education teacher with a B.S.) allowing the teachers to use the child’s physical education time for punishment?  They only have 30 minutes for physical education.  Why take fifteen minutes of it away?  Don’t these kids need to play?  Get rid of some excess energy?  Release the energy bundle so they can go back to class and “sit quietly”?

I’m going to say this first and foremost.  When I taught physical education class, it was a ground rule I set between the teachers and myself that my time with their children was not to be taken away from them for punishment.  I was not carrying out their punishment nor was I going to take away the child’s time to be free, run and exercise.  I had to go through the principals at various times because teachers didn’t want to comply, however, how do you think they would have felt if I had sent this note back to class with little Johnny?

“I am keeping Johnny in physical education class for an extra fifteen minutes because of his behavior.  Please excuse him of any math work he may miss during that 15 minutes.”

How well do you think that would go over?

Yea, I know, it wouldn’t!

So, what did I do.  I didn’t think it was fair to Jace to just say, “ok then we aren’t going to McD’s” so I told him that we were going and he would sit and watch without playing.  Yes, I know, I mentioned that he had already been punished.  But, in my world, punishment at school means punishment at home, no matter the crime.  And, it’s not up for debate, so don’t go there.  please? 

Once we arrived at McD’s, he ate and then I told him he had 15 minutes more to sit out without talking and he would get a spanking when we arrived at home. 

Side Note:  Again, don’t even go anywhere on a tangent about spanking.  I do believe in corporal punishment when a child is old enough to understand it, knows and understands the reason for the punishment and it is NOT carried out when the person dolling out the punishment is angry. 

I called my husband to verify that this would be sufficient.  He agreed.  I’ll let you know how it all works out.  I had already planned to take Walker to school myself in the morning because of errands and such, but now I will be going inside.

Why am I going inside?  I want he and his teacher to understand that we (the parents) will not accept his behavior as such.  But, we (the parents) would like some consistency..punish the child once please, do not repeatedly punish him for the same misbehavior. 

Lastly, Walker was telling me that he didn’t know it was suppose to be a silent lunch.  They had silent lunch for half of the time last Friday when I was there so I know my son knew it was suppose to be a silent lunch.  I let him know that I knew he was aware of the “silent lunch” rule.  He repeated again that he didn’t know.  I stopped the truck and asked if he wanted me to turn around and go back to school and ask the teacher about this.  (I know he knew, but I had to call his bluff).  He decided that no, indeed, he did not wish to go back and that he did, indeed, know that it was suppose to be a silent lunch.

Either way, I will go inside with him tomorrow morning.  I will make it clear how I feel and then I’ll let you guys know if I have any hair left.

Discuss.

Last Friday was “Report Card Day” at school.  Now, I have no clue how a kindergarten child with no older siblings even has the concept of a report card, but I do know that Walker was beaming at the edges.

It’s fairly simply:

S = Satisfactory (Meets Expectations for progress and performance at this grade level)

P - Progressing (Shows improvement toward meeting expectations for progress and performance at this grade level.)

N = Needs Improvement (Needs improvement to meet expectations for progress and performance at this grade level.)

And, with that, he had all S’s in:

• Shows self-confidence
• Stays on Task
• Completes task independently
• Participates in Task
• Handles Conflicts Appropriately
• Cleans up after Activities
• Takes Care of Materials/Property
• Respects Adult Authority
• Respects other Students
• Recites Full Name
• Recites Birthday and Age
• Recites Names of Parents/Guardians
• Recites Days of the Week
• Sports Sets by size/color/shape
• Recognizes:  circle, triangle, square, rectangle
• Interprets Graphs:  more/less/same
• Recognizes colors:  red, blue, yellow, green, orange, black, brown, purple
• Orally Recognizes and Produces Initial Sounds
• Demonstrates Left to Right progression
• Demonstrates Concept of word
• Contributes appropriately in group discussion
• Correctly prints first name
• Picture and writing convey a message
• Copies Letters that form words
• Identifies Rhyming Words
• Recognizes uppercase letters:  all of them
• Recognizes lowercase letters:  all of them but “a” “l” “q”
• Associates sounds with letters:  except “d”, “e”, “u”
• Writes Circled letters:  all of them
• Physical education

And, he received ‘P’s” in:

• Obeys rules
• Plays and works well with others
• Displays self-confidence
• Follows directions
• Remains seated at appropriate times
• Listens Attentively
• Puts Forth Best Effort
• Controls Talking
• Effectively uses crayons
• Effectively uses Scissors
• Effectively uses Glue
• Reads High Frequency words

And, with that, we move into the next grading period….

I’ve talked in depth about speaking with my son’s teacher, the administrators as well as approaching someone about the behavior of another teacher.  So, I think it is important, from a teacher perspective, that the manner in which all parents should look at each and every situation is approached and discussed.

I had to repeatedly inform parents of this philosophy when I owned the daycare, as an owner, people would gossip about me, and about my teachers.  I encouraged the parents of the children in my care to come to me first when they heard a rumor, let me tell them how I saw it “go down” and then make their decision from there.  So, here it is, as it relates to children and teachers in public schools.

I’m going after this bullet style:

• Trust your instincts, if the story your child is telling seems too far fetched, it probably is.  That doesn’t mean you need to simply write it off as if the child has said nothing, it means you must remain objective.
• Get all the details from your child or the gossip source.  Write them down so you don’t get confused when you get an opportunity to speak with the person involved.
• Go to the source with your written list in hand. 
• Don’t make accusations, simply state that you “heard” rumors or your child came home saying something odd and you would like to get his/her perspective on the situation.
• Listen, again, make notes.
• Then, figure that 50% of what a child tells you and/or 50% of what you get from a rumor is probably accurate with no bias what-so-ever. 
• Then, figure that 50% of what the teacher/administrator is telling you is objective and unbiased.
• From there, make a decision on how you feel. 
• Act last.

I say this for obvious reasons and I think any logical thinking person does this anyway.  However, when it is our own children that are involved, we tend to over-react, get involved too quickly and accuse without knowing the full story.

One example of this was an employee that I had to let go for various reasons.  Once she left, she started all kinds of rumors.  The kind of rumors that some folks knew to be so ridiculous they weren’t true.  And, lucky for me, 95% of the parents of children in her class came to me before they took action. 

The final straw for most folks was, “this is a  disgruntled ex-employee, is she being objective?”  Some really specific examples went like this:

• rumor was “she serves them ruined food/milk”  the logical thinker said to himself/herself “she has kids in that school that eat and drink that food every day, why would she serve food that was dangerous?” Logic wins on that one every time
• rumor was “she served ruined hamburger meat” the logical thinker said, “this teacher admitted that she ate at the school every day, so why would she continue to eat there for over a year if the food was contaminated?”  Logic won that one too.
• rumor was “she mistreats the children” the logical person said, “this woman allowed her own kid to be in that daycare every day for almost 2 years, if it was bad, why did she leave her kid there?”  So, again, logic won.

And, that’s kind of what I’m talking about when I say, “listen to your child, support your child, but know that a disgruntled child can’t be objective”  so, get the other side of the story before you get worked up.

I have one more example of a wonderful parent who is also a teacher in the public schools (and a doggone good one) who knew the proper way to handle a situation.  Here’s the example:

Dad drops off his son who is 2.  Dad overheard another drop-off parent explaining that “he had a bit of fever last night and he has had diarrhea” but he didn’t hear the part about slobbering and teething. 

Dad called Mom and she called me immediately.  She said, “I want to know why you are allowing sick babies with fever and diarrhea to come to school when we always keep our son home under these circumstances?”

And, I answered her by saying, “this baby is 8 months old, he doesn’t have a tooth in his head and has been running a low grade fever accompanied by sporadic diarrhea for about a week”.  Before I could even get it all out of my mouth, this mother said, “I am so glad I called and asked about this before I got upset.  That makes perfect sense, there is no reason to keep that child at home at all”.

I couldn’t have been more proud of her for calling, asking her question and admitting that she felt better knowing what was going on. 

Ok, enough examples, just try to help me remember my own philosophy as I go about the remainder of my children’s school careers. 

I will need help, I’m sure of it!

Well, for those of you who read the letter I sent to Walker’s teacher regarding homework, I thought you might like to know what the teacher’s response was.  And, with that, I will gladly give it to you.  Her response was……………..nothing.  She didn’t even acknowledge that anything was written.  Period.  Nothing.

We have no homework because it is church night in the Bible Belt, but because of last night’s debacle, Walker is begging to read the story tonight.  I can only assume that they did something in class today that made him learn the words he didn’t know last night.  He is nagging the crap out of me to sit down and let him read.

Now, that’s not homework, that’s my kid wanting to read and THAT, THAT I can handle!

1.  Where were you educated? I was educated in the public school system.  However, I must add that I attended the best academic high school in our area for that time period.  I can’t say that this school has maintained these standards though.  However, I had the opportunity to take college-prep classes in grades 9 - 12 which were basically taught on a little higher level as well as the option of taking AP Calculus.  I did take the calculus class but I did not take the exam because I knew I wasn’t prepared for it.

2.  Regardless of where, who did the majority

of the teaching?  I agree with most everyone here that the teachers at the school did the majority of my teaching academics but that my parents were responsible for the manners and morals portion.  However, I was fortunate enough to go to a very small school (normally in the range of 100 kids in 9 grades and about 18 in my grade) and because of this, lots of manners, morals and acceptable behaviors were taught and learned just by the nature of the numbers.

3.  Were you a good student? I was a very good student.  I finished extremely high in my high school class and in elementary school I was always the top of my class.  I never had behavior issues either except the one I’ve already mentioned where I was kissing under the mistletoe in seventh grade.  I didn’t talk in class when the teacher said “no talking”, I didn’t do anything except exactly what the teacher told me to do.  I always did my homework and turned it in on time or early.  I walked the straight and narrow (there’s a joke coming about that later, keep reading)

4.  Was one type of school chosen over another

for a particular reason? The only choice we had was public schools so obviously that’s where I went.  My father was a public school teacher and at the time he would have never considered any other type of education to be an option.  I do think if he were now and could afford for me to attend the only private school available in our area, he would try to go that route.  At the time I went to public school in this area, the schools were decent.  Alabama was still at the bottom of the totem pole as far as other states compared but for our area, public schools were the best options. And, as for high school?  I had three options, no zoning rules or anything here at that time (even now they aren’t enforced).  I chose the high school that sported the best academic reputation.

5.  Will you educate your children in the same

way?  Thus far my children are/will be educated in the public system.  We are fortunate that we live in an area with one of the top elementary schools in the state.  Although many things go on in this school that I don’t agree with (see all my homework posts), for now, it is the best option.  The only private school option is extremely expensive and almost 40 miles one way.  I am open to homeschooling if I find that it is necessary.  I already have my eyes set on a couple of teachers in the grades above my son’s and if for any reason we end up in the room with a certain couple of teachers and I can’t get him moved, we will homeschool without even thinking twice.  When you spend a lot of time in the school building, teachers start to accept you and let their guard down and you see behavior from teachers that you might not see other wise.  I hate to get specific here because I don’t know who is reading, so let me just leave it at that, mmmmkay?

6.  Do you think it was appropriate for you?  It was the only choice and it was very appropriate.  I was a socialite, I loved school, I was begging to learn and in my world that was where you went to learn…and a great benefit of that was socializing.

7.  How much time (on average) each day

(including Saturday and Sunday) did you put

into school work? I would say on average, in the four years, I probably averaged less then 2 hours per night and no more than 2 hours per weekend. I can’t wait until you read my cousin’s answer to this, you will probably be in shock.

8.  What kind of student were you?  Good,

Average, Above Average, Failing  I was definitely an above average student. I finished in top 10% of my class.  But, also consider that my graduating class had over 120 kids in ninth grade but only graduated 87.  Do with that what you want.  I do want to add that as a college student, I was barely average.  I hated it, I was out of my element and I absolutely abhorred it.  Graduate school was much better but mainly because I could do it online.  I hate lectures, hate them.  I’ve always hated them.  My high school teachers didn’t teach “lecture” style and when I got to community college, I already knew that I couldn’t stand it.  It was only better once I got to graduate school and could do my work at my own pace.

9.  Did you graduate high school?  Yes, top 10% of my class.

10.  Did you go to college or are you in college

now?  Yes, I graduated, but I won’t be going back I don’t think, ever.  I have a B.S. in Education and a Masters in Counseling.  I’m done!

11.  Do you think your high school education

prepared or is preparing you for college?  For the most part, it did prepare me for community college.  But, after that, no.  I’ve mentioned this before but for the newbies, I was always a teacher’s pet.  My father was a teacher and well-known.  Teachers gave me the benefit of the doubt with most everything even when I didn’t need or deserve it. Nothing could have prepared me for undergraduate. I hated it and I can’t think of any way that it could have changed to make it better.  I didn’t have that teacher’s pet quality and that might have made some difference but I don’t think so.

12.  Did you take part in extra-curricular

activities?  Yes, you name it, if they let me in, I got in it.  Band, volleyball, softball, Beta Club activities, etc

13.  Generally speaking, did you enjoy school? I loved high school, I’ve already mentioned that.  I hated undergraduate and I love graduate….maybe it was just the time in my life that made those areas what they were and not the education necessarily.

14.  What would you change about your

education? I can’t think of anything that I would have changed about high school.  I really did enjoy it.  Maybe if I had gone to an undergrad school where I lived on campus and had the opportunity to live on campus and socialize, I might have enjoyed it more. 

15.  Regardless of who did your teaching, were

your parents adequately educated to

teach/tutor you?  If yes, why do you think

this?  If not, why not?  I agree whole-heartedly with those who said, “yes but they didn’t have the temperament”.  My mom would have struggled in the higher grades but for the most part, both of them were capable of educating me at home if that had been an option.

The joke about me walking the straight and narrow path???? My mom has been quoted on many occasions as saying, “she was a great kid until she turned 22 and it’s been down hill since then”.  I really was a good kid, but as an adult, whew, I’ve apparently strained everyone’s last nerve.

*This is totally meant to be written with a laugh in mind, please take it for what it is and try not to take it so seriously, just enjoy the fun.*

This is basically a continuation of the last two posts where I discuss small schools, big schools, high schools, bullying and how to cope as the new kid in a big school and in the lowest grade of that school.

Remember, I went to a very small feeder school and transferred to a larger school but not the one that my fellow classmates went to because I moved to my dad’s with 2 months left of the 8th grade.  So, the joke here involves 9th graders from feeder schools (because there were plenty of those that entered the high school in the 9th and 10th grades)

For instance, even when I say larger school, I mean, 600 students in 4 grades (9 - 12) in a building that was meant to house about 400 students.  Either way, it was a one level building with one “L” set of halls.  The students that had been in this building for the 2 years prior to the arrival of those of us from the feeder schools, had the opportunity to learn their way around and deal with the bullies who were merely a grade ahead of them. 

Basically, the old students were tortured in the seventh grade by a bunch of eighth graders that they already knew.  Those of us from feeder schools?  We were tortured in the ninth grade by a bunch of kids we had never seen before.

The biggest joke in the building for an oldie to play on a feeder kid was this.  If a feeder kid asked an oldie how to find a certain room, the oldie would tell the feeder kid to get on the elevator and go  up one floor.

There was no elevator in this building.  There was barely the “L” shaped hall.  But, someone always has to be ready for a good joke, right?

Starting here with a direct quote from The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish:

“Of course, kids fight homework and procrastinate.  Plenty of books insist that if parents just established a good homework routine (a quiet spot to work, neatly organized school supplies, a tasty but healthful snack, and an adult available to answer questions), kids would happily buckle down and do it.”

Prior to finishing my degree and certainly prior to having my own children, I have said those very words above to many people.  I have aunts and cousins who would sit at the table and argue and fight with their children every day for hours on end just to get homework finished and out of the way for the night.  I chastised them.  I made them feel that if they would just do what the “experts” suggest (the quote above), they wouldn’t have these problems.

Then, I became a foster parent.  I was teaching physical education but I had never been involved in the homework side of education.  Now, here I am, 25 years old, I’ve been given the responsibility of raising a 15 year foster child that was plenty smart, but severely troubled.  I can’t divulge much about her situation, lets just say she had failed a grade and was well on her way to failing another when she came to live with me.  She finished that year a member of the Beta Club.  Normally I would tell you that it was not a reflection of anyone but the child because she earned it.  But the fact of the matter is, it was a joint effort.

Every afternoon, she had an adult that worked with her, something like a Big Sister but through the DHR.  And, this persons job was to do fun things with the girl as well as help her get her homework done and teach her responsibility at the same time. 

What inevitably happened most days was that the second time seventh grader sat at the kitchen table, in a quite atmosphere, with a healthy snack, with organized supplies and not one, but 2 adults there to assist her if she needed any help, yet hours would go by and she still wouldn’t be finished with her homework. 

It was a crazy year and I can promise you this, I learned one lesson that year this young girl lived with me.  I learned the art of eating your own words.  They don’t generally taste very well.  Hindsight, she had a ridiculous amount of homework.  I blamed her because I felt like she was piddling around, not doing anything at school and then just not concentrating when we would try to help her. 

Man of those things were true, she wasn’t applying herself completely in the afternoons while she had help, but she wasn’t piddling around during the day either, she was doing her class work, what she was bringing home was homework.  Homework that had been assigned in lumps and lumps and let to bumps and bumps.

Hindsight, I wish I had known then what I  know now and spoke up on her behalf.  Again, she had plenty of reasons to have concentration issues, but the sheer amount of work she was expected to do was outrageous.  I hope that doesn’t hold true for my own children, lest I be THAT mother.

As most of you know, we let Walker stay out of school last week in order to take part in a family vacation.  I spoke with his teacher almost two weeks prior to our being gone and requested his work be sent home so we could do it.  It was and we did.  I did not, however, get prior written approval from the principal of the school.  I knew that other parents had talked about this part of the student handbook.  Did I look it up?  No.  Did I ask about it?  No.  Did I get the prior written approval?  No. 

Now, why did I not do this?  Well, there is no good reason because all I had to do was pick up the phone, call the school and ask for this approval.  Or, I could have sent a note in Walker’s folder requesting this approval.  Or, one of the times I was in the school building, as in Friday lunch date or simply talking to his teacher, I could have stopped in the office and requested permission. 

Why did I, a responsible adult, fail to get this prior written approval?  No real reason that I can think of other I’m hard headed.  My philosophy is/was that he is my son and it was our vacation and I didn’t need anyone’s permission to keep him out of school.  And, I took care of his academic needs by speaking with his teacher about the matter.

So, on Sunday night I wrote the note requesting that he be excused from school last week due to a family vacation.  (I fully expected to be denied.)  Yesterday I received a letter from the school stating that my son had missed four days unexcused due to the fact that I had not requested prior written approval.  I was also informed that because of the Truancy Laws, if he is out a fifth day unexcused, I will be reported.  Finally, it had a page copied out of the handbook with the portion highlighted that read, “prior written approval by the principal“.  I got it.  I understood.  And, it wasn’t as if I didn’t understand in the first place.

So, why?  Why didn’t I just do it.  I have no real answer for you other than just being a stubborn arse. 

I had to sign the form noting the unexcused absences and the fact that one more unexcused absence would result in the Truancy people being contacted.  I signed the note, including a little note of my own that read (not exact because I didn’t put much thought into it at the time):  “I knew that we were going on this vacation and I spoke with Walker’s teacher.  We took his work with us and it was all completed.  I understand the rule, however, I don’t anticipate that we will be taking any more trips that would require Walker’s absence and if we do I would be sure to get “prior written approval“.  Also, I was not concerned with the status of those days as excused or unexcused.”

Call it cocky, call it being a smart-alec, but I don’t care.  I don’t care what they thought about it.  Should I have followed the rules?  Of course I should have. 

This morning at approximately 8:15, a mere 15 minutes after school started (and his teacher had sent the note to the office for the administrators to read), I got a phone call from the school secretary.  Now, never mind that seeing that phone number on my caller ID was enough to make my stomach turn into knots (we’ve had front teeth knocked out by a sibling, so, an injury was the obvious thought on my mind).  The secretary is a sweet woman who is a former student of my fathers and has worked at this school as long as I can remember.  (I knew her motive was to get me to recoil and try to get the status over-turned.  I’m sure she felt it was that important.)  She merely re-explained what the note had intended to explain.  She then quietly (but not so quietly that I couldn’t hear her) asked the principal if this one could be reversed.  She returned to the phone to tell me that the unexcused absence would stand.

I said ok, and told her that it didn’t really matter to me one way or the other.  She reminded me that if he was out again that I couldn’t forget to send him with a note from a physician or that would put me in the violation of my son’s five days.  I said ok, and reminded her that it didn’t really matter to me one way or the other.  She reminded me of the truancy laws.  I said ok, and told her once again that it didn’t matter to me one way or the other.

We said our good bye’s and hung up. 

So, what the heck was that about?  It was about respect.  The principal had the authority to over-ride the unexcused absences especially since his teacher verified that I did indeed communicate with her almost two weeks prior to taking him out of school for four days.  But she didn’t.  Why didn’t she?  Because, she was proving to me that she had the authority to make that decision.  Just as I was proving to her that “it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another.”

Why am I being so ornery about this?  I could give you many reasons.  The first one would be this school supply list that ran in excess of $100 and that did not include any clothing, underwear or shoes.  This atmosphere the night of orientation.  Add to that $1.75 for school lunches (yes I could send something, but I know my child will eat better if he has the opportunity), $10 for weekly readers, $10.50 for class T-shirts to be worn on field trips and special school days, $11.00 for the first field trip next month.  This is only one month of school that the child has attended and we’ve put out in the neighborhood of $200.

No, those really aren’t reasons.  I really think the biggest issue is the lack of respect some of the administrators show me.  And, I’m much like a twelve year old and must play tit for tat.  It really is that simple.  I know, I know, some of you are thinking, you must give respect to get respect.  And, you can guarantee that up until this little episode, these people, all the way down to the janitor have received my utmost respect.  I was raised to respect authority, not buck it.  I never handled myself in any other manner.  So, I guess the link above regarding the atmosphere the night of orientation is more a factor than anything else.

The first words out of my husband’s mouth were “Walker will pay for your bad attitude” and I am quickly reminded of The White Trash Mom’s Handbook by Michelle Lamar and Molly Wendland.

Is he right?

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