Mom Is Teaching

I am a teacher by trade just like Becky Bilby except she is homeschooling and I…I have not gained the nerve for that yet.  She discusses some of the pitfalls of trying to teach writing even when writing is your forte’.  I personally don’t think reading or writing is my forte’ and well….that’s what scares me straight out of homeschooling for right now. 

Becky discusses Atwell’s Lessons that Change Writers which is a curriculum that seems pricey but she seems to think it will carry through years of lessons.  And, since she has worked with the same group of homeschoolers and it works well for them in the group setting…so, she seems to be rather impressed.

If you would like to read more, you can find her at Blissfully Domestic’s Homeschooling site or on her personal blog, And Chloe Makes 6 or In the Pages.

When I graduated from college, my philosophy was to teach as much as I could teach all while allowing the children to play.  The idea, count while we do jumping jacks, do multiplication facts while we do sit-ups, list the states and capitals while we jump rope, or even do spelling words while we shoot hoops.  It was a grand plan that college had prepared me for.  When I got my first job, that was a joke.  I still believed, but when you have 60 kids at once, it is somewhat more difficult.  The best physical educators I know, or I should say the most successful or the most long-lasting physical education teachers I know, don’t do much more than toss out a ball and blow a whistle whilst sitting in a nearby chair.

I hate that.  I quit I hated it so much.

Then, as I started to buy the daycare, I had to meet these certain stipulations.  One of them was teaching in a daycare for a year or having a degree in early childhood.  Ok, fine, I had done both, but my degree, although my teaching certificate said, N-12 which stands for nursery school through grade twelve, was not sufficient.  UH?

I fought the system.  Who better qualified to teach pre-school children how to play while learning than a physical education teacher with a degree that studied preschool age children?  The Department of Human Resources was not amused. 

Anyway, here’s a few ideas of just what your child can learn from playing.  Parents.com states it like this:

“….taking turns, and working out conflicts becomes possible in the preschool years — though kids will still need help from adults when communication breaks down. And don’t worry if there are a lot of arguments or the kids are unable to share. Learning to play cooperatively takes time and practice!”

“So the next time you see your toddler squishing Play-Doh and then throwing it across the room, don’t think, What a mess! Instead, be proud of the fact that he is hard at work, experimenting with cause and effect, and making sense of the diverse world around him.”

So, how can you do to foster this learning in pre-schoolers?  They can build block towers, play pretend and be there for your child to help him understand taking turns, empathy, etc.

So,, when you start toy shopping, look for toys that meet the needs for enhance sensory thinking, puppets, dolls, trucks, push toys for motor skills and pretend play,

So, anyone else have any good ideas?

If you would like to subscribe to Parents Magazine, you can go here to get a year free or a two years at a discount price…

Many of you know how I feel about homework and if you don’t, you can read about it here.  And, since the subject came up this week with a meltdown from Walker regarding his homework, most of you read the letter I sent to school as well.  I explained what the assistant principal had to say in the matter and now, I want you to know our newly adopted philosophy on homework in our house.  So, here goes…like it, dislike it, whatever, here it is…

*side note*  I want to interrupt here and say this, I am terrified of alienating the teachers at my son’s schools just as much as I am the administrators.  However, I’m not scared enough to let them ruin my son’s childhood.  Respect is a huge issue and as long as they respect my manner of handling “homework”, I will do my best to respect their way of handling “instructional time” during the school day.

So, here’s a copy of an email I sent to someone simply stating how we will approach homework from this point forward.

“At first,  he would come home excited about reviewing his work and showing me what he had learned.  That night and the next night were disasters but then last night he wanted to show me again. 

I don’t mind  homework at all as long as my kid is saying, just because he wants to and not because someone has told me it is “homework”. 

It isn’t really homework in my opinion if he approaches it like that.  So, that’s our general rule from here on out, we talk to him about what the teacher “thinks” he needs to review and then we do the parts that he wants and is excited about. 

Nothing more - if he wants to read, or do sounds or have me read to him, that’s what we are doing.  I just spoke to the Assistant Principal yesterday and she wasn’t thrilled with my approach but …all I can say is …too bad, he is my kid, I think he is way ahead of most and I’m ok with our plan for now. 

If the time comes that we have to change things or make further arrangements with the school, then we will do that when the time comes.  Right now my 3 year old is also very interested in it and he sits and listens too, but no one tells him that he has to and I’m happy about that, they want to learn, they aren’t forced to cram stuff in their head just for memory sake.”

I think that the part in bold “they want to learn’” is absolutely the most important part and I truly believe that all the homework that folks are throwing out there is exactly the reason why our children are turned off in the first place.  So, as long as we are having fun learning, I’m happy with that. 

Discuss please.

I haven’t heard from Walker’s teacher today.  I probably will only get a note in his backpack.  Then, we shall really see what is going on.  Remember, I really like this teacher and I expect nothing but good things from her still.  I won’t bite her until I have reason to, but last night, last night was horrible and I won’t continue with that mess.

Here are a few link that I received from a reader that I thought you  might enjoy:

Family,  Homework, Answers - No Homework Note

Family, Homework, Answers - No Homework, Another Note

Family, Homework, Answers - Homework- Other Things to Do

Family, Homework, Answers - Sleep and Homework

In reference to those three links, I had already written my letter when I received those emails.  Here’s what I tried to accomplish with my letter:

Take the blame off of her by saying, “If you covered this in class and he wasn’t paying attention, please let me know.”

Suggesting that this might be over his head, “He does sound the word but has not managed to string the sounds together and refuses to even try when we return to that page.”

What I did as a decision making parent and I do not wish to be chastised for it anymore than I am blaming this on you if my son has not been paying attention in class came out like this, “Therefore, we quit even trying last night.”

Finally I took my solid stance by point blank saying, “I am not a big proponent of homework and especially in a child five-years-old. I will do as much as I can with letters and sounds, however, anything further; which is stressing my child seems inappropriate.”

Another point that I hope she understands but doesn’t necessarily believe that I am telling her how to do  her job, which I could totally tell her if I needed to, I just think she is way better than that from what I’ve already seen.  I  just didn’t see this coming, she really has shown herself to be on the side of the kid, to be an advocate for children.  But, here’s my thoughts, “New concepts and words need to be learned at school and reinforced at home.”

Again, how expect his education to be carried out, in no uncertain terms, “parents we play a big role in our students education, however, at this point, his learning needs to be confined to his classroom and reviewing is the only thing we should be expected to handle at home.”

Once again I gave her the opportunity to say, “Hey, you kid is acting a fool and I can’t do anything with him and that’s why he acts that way with you, by saying, “If he has not explained the situation to me correctly and you did have a lesson on words such as “turtle”, “tent”, “turkey” and “table” then by all means let me know so that I can figure out what the problem is here at home.”

And, as you can see, I left it open for her to call me if she thought I was out of line or I was misinformed by my son.  Post on that coming up next…reader (parent-reader) beware.

I’m not going to pretend that I have any clue what-so-ever how a homeschooling parent would teach that previous lesson.  But, I suspect that the method I mentioned might work really great in that matter.  If I were thrown into homeschooling tomorrow, that’s what I would do.  I would go through the map with the child, discussing a little about each state that we might already know or that we can look up and learn.  That way, the child has a better idea of what a state represents other than just a spot on a map.

And, the parent could help the child go through the labeling process with the student reminding them of the small pieces of information that he/she had just learned about each state.  I see this as beneficial because let’s suppose your child lives in Gainesville Florida.  You are homeschooling and you are to this unit.  You 8- year-old has been begging to go snow skiing.  But when you try to explain to him/her that you can’t actually go snow skiing where you live and it is quite a long way to travel in order to do so. 

As you were labeling your map, you could show your child where grandma and grampa live in Nashville Tennessee and also remind them how long it took the last time you drove to see them.  Remind them of the various bathroom stops and the number of miles traveled, etc.  Then, you could jump to Colorado and show them that in order to snow ski they would need to visit a place such as Denver Colorado.  Look what your child has learned and learned the location of:  state of Florida and capital, state of Tennessee and capital and state of Colorado and capital.  The student is so much more likely to remember this because it relates to something the child is already interested in. 

In a classroom setting the teacher could do this as well, the problem being the number of students and the ability to know their students and their likes and dislikes.

In that example, I would be able to teach my child many states and capitals just be using the knowledge they already have and adding to it.  The knowledge is so much more likely to be retained. 

Fast forward 20 years and this young adult still hasn’t been snow skiing but he has won a free airline round trip to anywhere.  He/she knows exactly where he/she wants to go:  Denver Colorado.  And, because you had the opportunity to teach seasons and such, he/she can plan their trip accordingly since he/she learned at a very young age that driving from his/her home in Gainesville Florida to Denver Colorado would probably ruin his trip.

Lesson learned.  No homework.  Child can then be left with blank maps to work through and a labeled map to check his progress.  Learning so much more than simply regurgitating knowledge back onto a piece of paper. 

Discuss.

Get in and Hang On has some great links up it appears to me….my naked eye that is.

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While we were traveling last week, I managed to read a couple of books and post about them in great detail.  I’m not finished, just adding some other things to the mix as the day by day activities arrive. 

On Saturday or Sunday, I received an email from Tom Hanson who is an editor of Open Education.  He had read some posts from this site and read many of the posts and comments regarding homeschooling.  He sent me a link to the site where the discussion seems to be regarding Sugata Mitra and Minimally Invasive Education - Confirmation for Homeschool and UnSchooling Proponents. 

I took a few minutes to read the information at the above link.  And, I have to tell you, if you have a minute, it is definitely a good read.  I love research but normally I find that the manner of the writing afterwards is so technical and difficult to read that I abandon it. 

But, this article is written in very easy jargon and I could easily see the point of Professor Sugata Mitra’s research with the hole in the wall project.

“According to Mitra, without any instruction, these underprivileged children were able to achieve a fundamental level of computer literacy. In his follow up work, Mitra determined that the children, ages 5-16, had little if any prior formal schooling and could not speak English.

Mitra’s “Hole in the Wall” experiment revealed that even without the direct input of a teacher, if there is an environment that stimulates curiosity, then it is possible for children to self-instruct and share pertinent knowledge. Because of its fundamental structure, Mitra dubbed the entire process “minimally invasive education.”

I think this is the premises behind what the homeschooling parents have been trying to make me understand since I took over this blog.  It is amazing, I see it happening with my own eyes.  I just know that unless something radical happens (and my next post about public schools not homework is one step toward radical), I don’t feel I am cut-out for homeschooling.  And, as I’ve said many times, I will do what is best for my child and if it were to come down to me needing to homeschool in order for him to succeed, then I would definitely try it.  But, for the most part, I’ll stick with the public schools for now.

But, this article, this article is extremely thought provoking and every parent, teacher, administrator, etc needs to see just how important their role is in teaching our children.

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Everything I’ve written thus far about public schools and homework seems very negative.  But, I want to make sure everyone knows and understands that I know I can’t do the job of a teacher.  I’ve tried, Lord knows I’ve tried.  I tried one year, quit for a couple, tried for 2, quit for a couple, tried one year, quit, until I had amassed five years.  I simply am not cut out to be a teacher.  So, please don’t get the impression that I am downing one teacher in one school or anything of the like.

And, that last sentence is exactly where the problem lies.  It is not that your child’s teacher is doing this, every teacher is doing it.  It is not that your child’s school administrators are pushing your child’s teachers to push the kids harder and further.  It is not even just your child’s system.  As a nation, we’ve lost our minds thinking we can push these little tots into being grown doing grown-up skills at the ripe age of 7.

I just chatted with someone in email.  I know she won’t mind me sharing but just read this…

“This weeks homework for 1st grade:

Study for spelling test and sight word test on Friday

Then choose four of the five activities to complete by Friday:

Alphabetize a set of four words

Read her weekly story they are doing in class from her reading book (they bring it home on Monday..return it on Friday) and then write if its fiction, non-fiction, or realistic fantasy. Then answer end of chapter questions orally to an adult.

List 5 words using the “bl” blend sound

Work a set of 10 math addition problems

Write to complete sentences using at least two weekly spelling words.

Last week one of the activities was to label out sentences with verbs, nouns, adverbs, and adjectives.”

People, come on.  When is this kid suppose to play with her Barbie’s?  Midnight?  And, you know what I’m going to say next right?  They do this to these kids and then complain because the kids don’t get enough sleep.  I am the very first to yell foul when I think a kid is sleep deprived.  But I know exactly what happens.  These kids actually need some time to play and for many of them it is through organized sports. 

I played organized sports from the time I as 12 until well after I crossed that graduation platform.  So, these kids want to play and in order to do that, they have to practice.  Practice then delays homework which in turn delays sleep AND WHAT DO YOU GET?

You get a kid that is too tired to even tell you what he does know.  And…….and the blame gets put on organized sports.  They (as in the folks who are pushing pushing pushing our babies to the brink) always want to holler that the kids are sleep deprived because of organized sports, or dance classes, etc.

And, at the same time, they are being pushed to color in a goofy bubble.  I took AP classes with the same 5 or 6 kids for my junior and senior year.  I made the same grades they made - A’s.  I know in my heart of hearts that only one of them had a greater intelligence level than me.  But, when we took college entrance exams, I would bomb. 

Coloring in the bubble is just not my gig.  Here’s an excellent example.  When I graduated from high school, taking the ACT as a junior was advised because they would “give” you a point for taking it a year early.  So, I did what all the other kids did, I took it early.  Out of those classmates, there was a 34 (high score being 36), 32, 30, 28 and a 18.  Guess who scored the 18? 

I don’t color bubbles well.  I took a class in test taking and the next year I scored a 24.  But, I sat in class with those smarty-pants above and I made the grades all on my own.  I didn’t get anything easy and to be honest, none of us did.  But, they were better at being analytical - two of those were girls, two were boys and then me (a girl by the way). 

So, what I’m getting at here is a bunch of rambling and off topic stuff.  But, my point is, do we want to teach our kids how to take a test or how to actually retain some knowledge?  There is a company out there that can teach you how to increase your scores a lot.  I took the class and later took the class to be a teacher of the course.  It is ridiculous. 

This class for the teachers shows you how to take a standardized test and know very little but score very well based on analytical thinking and basically mind-reading the producer of the test.  Big deal, I can decide whether the answer is a, b, c, d, or e based on the answer to the last 3 or 4 questions or the next 3 or 4? 

And, that accomplishes?  Nothing in my opinion.  Give me the opportunity to tell you what I know, I believe I could have scored just as well as my peers.  The tests I had to take in college to get into the “Teachers” program was all essay based with the exception of one part of the language assessment.  I did really well.  My graduate courses…..they didn’t ask me if the answer was a,b,c,d…they wanted to know if I had read the material, understood the material and knew what I was talking about. 

Ok, this is way too long and I’m going to post it.  I may break it down later into separate posts but I am anxious to hear responses so I’m going with it for now.

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As I’ve mentioned I’ve been reading The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish.  I made notes through-out the book as I read it and some of them seem pointless now as I go back and look, but others are definitely issues that I can add too.  I want to get this written before I start reading the second part of the book, so unfortunately, you get bullets.  And if I know me, some of the bullets will have its own bullets and it may even take me a few days.  But, I just think it is important.

Remember, most of this applies to public schools, public school teachers and public school students.  However, you can learn so much, it is worth it to read it just for the research.

And, not only that, I grew up in a different generation and I never had the amount of homework that children today lug home day after day.  So, excuse me if I approach some of this with snark.  And, if you are a public school teacher that has or will have one of my children in your room, bare in mind that I am the person writing this, not one of my little cherubs. 

• The purpose of homework in the first place.  In the book you will read example after example of children who bring unbelievable amounts of work home with them each night.  Here’s some of my main thoughts on this matter, some I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, others are brand new:
  • The homework is for the child not the parent.
  • Yes, parents need to be teachers so that their children are able to learn by mimmicking many of their behaviors.
  • The parent who sends her child to public school  however, should not be responsible for all of the child’s learning.  Basically, parents shouldn’t be forced to homeschool their children at night. 
  • In most cases, the parent has worked an 8 hour job, and the kid has done just the same.  A child’s work is to learn and most of them have been in school all day doing just that, learning.  The parent nor the child wants to take on a second job at night.  Both parties need to be allowed to rest and relax after a hard days work.
• Have you ever watched kids as they come out of school buildings around you?  Most of them have a backpack on their back that weighs substantially more than what is healthy for them to carry.  I have a cousin in the eighth grade and up until she was in the sixth grade, her mother would carry her backpack inside and then go inside in the afternoons and carry it out.  This sixth grader was small for her age, but if her backpack was too heavy for her to carry, chances are she had too much homework in the first place.
• I wrote just last week about children who are suffering from sleep deprivation.  It is extremely common in our schools right now for kids to act out simply because they aren’t getting enough rest.  And, they aren’t getting enough exercise.  The two go hand in hand.  The child comes straight home from school and starts homework.  That sometimes takes all evening and the child eventually goes to be too late.  Now the kid had no time to burn off energy needed to be tired, they are mentally exhausted but have you ever had one of those nights when your brain was tired but your body didn’t really feel tired.  Well that’s exactly what happens to our kids, then the next day, they take any opportunity they can find to be active and then….then they end up in trouble.
• How many hours a week do you work at your regular job?  For most folks it is 40.  Your child basically spends 40 hours a week doing school work to besides homework.  Now add an extra 2 hours of work to their work day because of homework.  Now your child has worked a 48 hour work week.  How well do you function when you are forced to work 48 hours in five days and maintain a level of expertise that is almost impossible.  Heck, you do it so well, you could probably stand to work a few  hours over the weekend, maybe during your vacation you could paint the house or something.  Come on, give me a break. 
• The j-o-b of a child has 2 components.  One of those components is to learn.  Children are natural sponges.  They are going to learn from their surroundings.  If they have adequate rest, they are going to continue to take in pretty much everything that is put in front of them.  Their other j-o-b is to play.  Yea, you read it right.  A child’s job is to play.  Playing, pretending, even organized sports to some degree allow a child to perform his duties as a child.  So, why, as adults are we not simply letting those children take responsibility for their j-o-b’s?  I have not the answer for you here, I just know that somewhere down the line, someone became misguided and our children are missing out.
• And, that brings me to this statement by the authors of The Case Against Homework, “Learning is maximized and made most efficient and effective when you allow a period for consolidation.”  People, that is not brain surgery.  How well do you perform your job on Monday if you spend the entire weekend doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning floors, painting the house, mowing the lawn?  Don’t even answer that because you and I both know that we have a saying called TGIF and for most of us, we mean that weekends are meant for vegging not working.  Well, guess what, children need that same opportunity. 

I’m going to close this here because the next part I have on my mind requires a little bit more of my own thoughts.  So, until next time……….

I have recently reconnected with an old friend.  I mean like we’ve kind new how to find each other but our lives were at such different places that we just didn’t try.  For instance, her children are 20 and 16, mine are 3 and 5.  That says a lot and I know most of you understand.

Anyway, she was always known as my radical friend.  Not in a bad way, she would just come up with some off the wall thoughts that would never occur to me but all seemed so true.  Anyway, long story short, her sister is the dentist we went to see today.  When I got to the office I filled out the paperwork for Ditto Boy.   When I handed it back to the receptionist, she handed me a laminated copy of newspaper feature from last week.  I knew their mom had done it, she was always good about treasuring her kids in that manner.  Not that other people don’t, it just had “Sue*” written all over it. 

*not her real name

Anyway, when we left I sent my friend a text message telling her how wonderful her mother was.  And, the conversation turned to homework before we were finished.  And, as I said before, she would always come up with something that I knew, or I wondered and wish I knew, but never really put a great deal of thought into it.  She is a highly educated woman by the way.  And is talking about changing careers and going to law school.  So, you see what I mean, she is no dummy by any standards. 

So, here’s how this text message went, I’ll bold the part that is very very true but I’ve never said it out loud and probably wouldn’t have had the nerve to bring it up except for all this talk about homework lately has my brain churning and burning for more information.  So, here’s how it went down:  stuff in red is me punctuating or explaining text lingo

Me:  kindergartener with homework, that is absurd, totally hacks me off, he is 5 for goodness sakes

Her:  lazy teachers want parents to teach

Me:  cause me to blog it and make someone mad, in my world it is called “blog fodder” (the lady who did my interview for paper was clueless about blogging or anything remotely relating to it and so have most of the people around here that I have received feedback from)

Her:  Good you have an outlet

Me:  but the fallout Walker might have to deal with now that everyone knows about it (it equals my blogs)

Her: While you are at it, why do they waste time on stupid subjects like health, history, etc in elem - they need solid reading, math

Her:  free speech

Me:  yea free speech is what got me in trouble last time

Her: everyone has to believe or it is not free

Me:  me too but it has caused me lots of trouble over the years

Her: you have to be more conniving

Me:  That is what _____ said I was 20 years ago he used that to keep ____ away from me,  conniving

Her:  he was almost my divorce lawyer the 1st time I was going to divorce _____

Me:  He is cruel and mean & who I used him for _____ junk though

Her:  did I spell it wrong? I hate that, I won’t date a man that can’t spell (I don’t know what she thought she misspelled)

Me:  Better than one with IQ over 170 but still gets lost in _____

***** There are many issues in that text that I could go on a rant about but the one I’m referring to is her noting that math and reading need to come first.  Of course she said it in a very out-spoken way, but that’s the beauty of our friendship.  ******

****** Walker’s teacher told me before school started that she does reading and math first thing in the morning and even after lunch if they don’t finish and saves social studies and science for the afternoon because she has to concentrate so much on reading and math.  I agree with her that these subjects need a lot of attention.  And, obviously my friend agrees too.****

****** Another rant all together involves the idea of being conniving, which is something that both of us know to be the only way to get anything done in our part of the world.  It really is a dog eat dog world in this town of a population under 14,000.******

****** I remember when I first realized that everyone in the world (as in other states, towns) don’t act like folks do around here.  I mean, honestly, I packed up and moved to another state one time without a job or a place to live strictly because it is so bad around here.  That’s what she is referring to when she uses the word conniving.****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

So, I’m wondering, what is your opinion on:

**** kindergarten homework?

**** concentrating on reading and math?

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This is a cross-post on Mom~E~Centric and Mom is Teaching.

First of all, I have to say that I wasn’t very happy when I opened my son’s folder today after school and saw that he had homework.  I was even less happy when I saw that the plans are for him to have homework Tuesday and Thursday night too.  He also got a Yellow Bee today, but I take full responsibility for that.  We kept him out of school a week right in the beginning, he was so excited that he was going to get to tell about his trip and show some of shells that I knew he might well be too excited.  Apparently it was the whole “boys table” at lunch just had a party.  Ok, still, I’m taking responsibility.

But homework?  I looked at it and determined that at most it would take 15 to 30 minutes depending on his attitude.  And, after school we headed out to his first ever dentist appointment.  Now, he was an absolute gem in the lobby of the office, then she did x-rays to which he explained to the technician that the word started with an X.  Then, the cleaning and the dentist looked at the x-rays. 

NO CAVITIES.  Not one cavity in his whole mouth, not even between his teeth.  We have never been naggers about teeth brushing like we ought to.  I mean, we do it, but I let him do it now and I don’t run around nagging him and checking.  And, genes in the poor kid’s family don’t bode well for good teeth.  But, he pulled it out.  No Cavities.  None.

So, we pick up some dinner and head home.  The first thing Ditto Boy said was, “Can I go to Nanny’s?”  I explained that he could not go to Nanny’s because he had homework.  He didn’t say anything.  I thought about it and I decided that he can do homework for the next 13 years, he might not be able to go see Nanny for 13 more years.  And, I knew I could make it a short stay.  So, when we passed our house, his eyes lit up, he shouted at the rooftop, “Nanny’s we’re going to Nanny’s! Nanny here we come!”

Now, how can you tell a kid (a five-year-old kid at that) that is that excited about seeing his grandma that he can’t go because he has homework?  And, on a day where he got a perfect report regarding his teeth?  I could, and maybe I should have, but as it turned out, all is well with the world.  He did his homework while Mini-Me took a bath and now he is headed to the bath himself. 

I was feeling better about the whole issue when he sat down to do his homework without complaining.  He had a page of letters to go over 3 times (like 20 letters randomly put on page in capitals and lowercase) and he had a page of four lines to trace that read “the little blue red yellow”.  He did his tracing and then we went over his sight words for the week and did all his letters once and did the sounds of all his letters once. 

I was over-joyed that he was being asked to write on paper with the two lines and a dotted line in between because I have been rather unhappy about the whole writing in a notebook/looks like chicken scratch method.  Then, then…out of the blue the kid says, “When you make a sentence, the first letter has to be a capital and you put a period at the end.  This is not sentences here so you don’t have to do that, but if you had real sentences, you would use capitals and periods.”

To which I replied, “Indeed son, indeed!”  I mean, c’mon is that really kindergarten material?  And even if it isn’t, his teacher may have sent homework home but there’s no doubt thus far that she is doing her part during the school hours.  No doubt. 

The other night at the tattoo place, I was sitting waiting my turn.  There was a couple across the way from me who had came to Panama City Beach in an effort to flee New Orleans.  The couple was relatively young, that I could tell by looking.  But further conversation took me deep into a conversation that I never dreamed I would have in a tattoo parlor, in Panama City Beach Florida at close to 10 PM.

I’m not even sure how the subject came up, I think she mentioned her children, I asked about them and she indicated that she had five children.  Their ages ranged from 3 to 11.  It was fairly obvious that the children weren’t with her but I wasn’t going to just be blunt and say, ‘well where are the little chaps” so I listened to what she had to say about them.

Side note here:  I was holding the book The Case Against Homework by Sara Bennet and Nancy Kalish but I don’t think she had noticed that at this time. 

Anyway, she barely got the words “they range from 3 to 11, but we homeschool and they are with their dad right now.”  I was immediately drawn to her, of course, she had information that was definitely useful for me.  As it turned out, she was an Army brat and apparently at one time called New Orleans home.  She later moved to Nevada but in the last year she had returned to New Orleans.  Thus the need to get the heck out of there this week. 

What she told me was simply fascinating.  It may or may not be that interesting to you since many of you homeschool and we’ve yet to talk about schedules and time of the year for school sessions, etc.  But, because of the work schedule of the children’s father (which she didn’t tell me), it works best for them for them to handle their school time from January through August.  Then, the children go to their father’s and stay and they swap the visitation schedule.

I was stunned.  I grew up in the house with a public school teacher, remember that.  And for me, the year starts in August and ends in May and those months in between are simply extra credit.  I mean that literally, if you did well from August to May, you had a free summer, but if you didn’t, summer school was waiting on you.  I had never entertained the idea that school could go from January to August.  How is that my little brain was so closed and couldn’t imagine such a thing happening?

She explained to me about going to the zoo, the arboretum, grocery shopping and having the kids weigh stuff, compare prices and the like.  She continued to tell me that her belief is that children are like sponges, they want to learn, they want to create and as long as you give the little ones an opportunity to see and do, they will learn. 

Now, duh, that’s not rocket science.  But as I’ve mentioned to you before, the only home schooled children that I know in real life didn’t even make it to graduate.  And, neither of them have been able to hold down decent jobs.  I was mesmerized by our conversation and when the guy told me it was my turn, I was a bit disappointed.  I was learning so much from this lady.  She couldn’t have been over 26 or maybe even 27 years old though.  Still I absolutely loved listening to her.

She doesn’t follow a set curriculum and her thoughts on education reminded me much of what Meg L said in this comment regarding her role in homeschooling.  Meg L and the lady in the tattoo place both said, I’m a facilitator, I’m a coach, I’m someone to lends directions.

It was totally a wow moment for me.  TOTALLY!

Before anyone accuses me of being a dummy, I’ve put a lot of thought into this post, so just know I am not throwing this out here without any thought.

Ok, I do not think that I could adequately teach my child past the seventh or eighth grade.  And, again, not because I’m dumb, but simply because that’s a lot of material to be responsible for.  I’ve taught seventh and eighth grade Earth and Life Science before and I taught tenth grade biology as well.  I have a minor in chemistry, so I’m no dummy.

I keep reminding you guys that I’m not dumb, does that not just speak volumes about my self-confidence?

Anyway, even when I taught those sciences, I was only responsible for those classes, not the entire curriculum.  I know that curriculums are available in a lot of places.  I’m just curious if buying a curriculum and enrolling with the online schools or academy’s makes it any easier to teach all the academics? 

And, with that, I know that many of you have also traveled extensively and are believers (as I am) that traveling and learning is as important as sitting with a book in hand.  Seeing the Eiffel Tower is way better than reading about it for 12 years, right? 

Also, I do not consider this little trip to the beach educational for my child, just want to clarify that this is for fun, educational trips are what I’m asking about.  I am sure we could find many ways to make this an educational trip but the fact of the matter is, we all want to rest and relax and that is just what we are going to do.

So, the questions are this:

1.  At what age do you quit home schooling or do you go through high school graduation?

2.  What curriculum to you use?

3.  If you have used different curriculums over time, which ones do you like the best and why?

4.  What do you do if you are like me and don’t feel qualified to teach your child trigonometry or calculus (although I made A’s in both) or Anatomy and Physiology?

Discuss.

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I figure most all oft he folks reading here have been on a long trip with a child (and for some children, 30 minutes is a long trip).  And, if you’ve done as much, you’ve probably answered the question, “Are we there yet?” just about as many times as the next guy out there, right?

Well, so what I want to know is this, your response to your child’s questions, behaviors, actions, and other words in general shapes the attitude that your child exhibits, right?

Ok, I’ll wait while you go read that again.  My husband gets firing mad when one of the boys makes a smart remark to him.  However, he is such a smart-arse with them that it makes me want to scream.  If I have drawn his attention to it once (not in front of the kids mind you), I’ve done it about as many times as they’ve asked “how many more miles?”

I keep trying to tell him that although he is the adult, it doesn’t give him permission to be rude to the children.  Can I get an Amen? 

This is one of the issues that I plan to take up in counseling.  I think if another person (especially another man) points out to him that he shapes their attitudes with his, he will listen.

See the most challenging part is that he never talks to me like that.  If he had talked to me like he does the kids, I wouldn’t have been around past the second or third remark.  And, I’ve told him as much.  But, he doesn’t get it. 

Here’s a typical conversation from today?

Walker:  are we there yet?  (now given, this was about 5 miles from home)

Wayne:  don’t start that, we just left home

Walker:  Why do we have to stop at Wal-mart, I don’t want to get my haircut

Wayne:  no one said you were getting a haircut so just don’t worry about it

Walker:  hummmmpf

Wayne:  you can stop that humpfing and snorting or we will just turn around and go home

Fast forward, we’ve left Wal-mart where we were for probably 45 minutes.

Walker:  how many  miles to the beach?

Wayne:  a long way, now just watch your movie

Walker:  but how many miles is it?

Wayne: I don’t know I said

Come on, was this not the most opportune time to teach the child something that was probably way over his head but…..he does grasp a lot of it, he really does

Fast Forward Again, we pull in at P.F. Chang’s to eat lunch

Walker:  what are we doing here?  I don’t want to eat here?

Wayne:  no one asked you where you wanted to eat

Walker:  but I don’t like it here, do you mama?

Me:  silence, staying out of it

Wayne:  well we are eating here because mommy and I like it, you like it too so just hush

Fast Forward and we make a wrong turn coming out of P.F. Changs.  We make a u-turn.

Walker:  why did you turn around daddy?

Wayne:  I’m driving and it doesn’t matter, you just watch your movie

Teaching a lesson in directions, paying attention to the signs, etc just waiting in the wings to be taught, right?

Walker: but we were going one way and you said it was the beach and then you turned around, where are we going now

Me:  *I’ve had all I can take at this point” Walker, we just made a wrong turn and we have to turn around.  This is the way to the beach ok?  Now, which movie do you want to watch?

Walker:  how far is it?

Me:  4 movies

Now come on, is it brain surgery to give a child the distance in something that he can understand?

Wayne:  far enough for you to watch your movie and go to sleep

Walker:  I don’t want to go to sleep

Wayne:  well do it anyway

Ok, this bantering has gone on all day and it happens quite frequently.  My knee-jerk response is to jump in every time because I can’t stand the attitude he gives them and the grief that he gives them when they start acting like him.

When we went to counseling for the first time, the counselor asked why we were there.  So, I basically told him how Wayne talked to the children and if he didn’t quit mistreating them, I was leaving.  Now, I know, in the whole scheme of things, that’s no where near as mistreated as some kids are.  I’m not talking about abuse..well, it borders on verbal abuse if you ask me but he refuses to see it that way. 

So, he and the counselor chatted and as I’ve mentioned before, the anti-depressant is helping.  But, on days like today, he simply can not hold his tongue.  And, by him I mean, Wayne, not Walker or Jace.

Yes, both of them can give you attitude but they give him attitude way more than they do me.  He told them to do something this morning and Jace swirled around with his hands on his hips with this look of disgust on his face.  He didn’t say a word, his actions said it all.  Wayne almost come unglued on the kid. 

I was standing behind him so I whispered, you gave them lip, you gotta be willing to take lip back.  Now, I don’t mean that literally, I don’t think children should backtalk or make actions of disgust to their parents.  But, I also believe that children deserve to be talked to with a little respect at least.

I’m going to give you the dialog from a couple of conversations that Walker or Jace and I have had today.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, I even got upset just a few minutes ago at the gas station because Walker was rolling his window up and down and I had to tell him several times to stop.  I didn’t however get attitude, I simply had to be more stern about the 400th time I said stop.  I’m kidding, I only do 2 commands, the 3rd command warrants punishment. 

WARNING:  RANT AHEAD AND ME TELLING YOU HOW TO HANDLE DISCIPLINE WHEN I DON’T KNOW MUCH MYSELF

Ever since the first year I taught, that’s been my strategy.  I will warn you once just in case you didn’t know something was unacceptable.  I will warn you a second time just as a matter of benefit.  But, if it comes to a third time, you have simply been disrespectful and acted inappropriately.

RANT OVER 

So, even though it felt like 400 times, it was only 2.  But, I did get loud with him about it because he had already been told to leave the windows alone earlier in the day.  So, our conversations go more like this.

Kid:  How much more to we have to drive?

Me:  We have to go to Wal-mart and get sand shoes remember?

Other kid:  me too? I’m getting sand shoes too?

1st Kid:  no, you already have sand shoes

Me:  we will probably get both of you a pair, they are on sale now since summer is almost over

2nd Kid:  does that mean it won’t take many dollars

Me:  yes, that’s exactly what it means

1st kid:  *he is only 3* good because I don’t got no dollars in my pockets

Fast forward to leaving gas station and preparing to put DVD in dual monitor DVD player purchased just for this trip but going back to store because they blip and start over at the least little bump.  Anyway, leaving gas station,

Me: Ok, on the way to the beach, Jace gets to pick the first movie, then when it goes off, Walker you can pick one

Walker: ok

Jace:  ok, I want to watch……….

Walker:  how far to the beach?

Me:  you have to watch this movie, then we will eat lunch, then if you watch 4 movies after that, we will be there

Brain surgery?  No?

Walker:  ok, do I get to pick the next movie

Me:  yes

Fast forward to the point where we are 2 movies into the trip after lunch.

Walker:  are we almost there

Me:  yes, remember, I said 4 movies and we will be there

an hour later

Walker: are we almost there

Me:  yes we are almost there (we weren’t even to Montgomery but “almost” is a fairly relative term, right?)

30 minutes later same thing

end of 3rd movie

more of the same, he keeps asking are we almost there and I keep telling him yes that we are almost there because again, almost is almost…if you were driving from Washington state and you were in the town we were in when we ate lunch you would REALLY almost be there, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, when I tell you it rubs off.  This just happened.  Of course you are reading this days later but while I was typing, while Wayne was driving, and while the boys were watching movie 4 because we are indeed almost there.

Jace:  momma

Me: yes

Jace:  momma

Me:  yes Jace *I assume this is a 3-year-old behavior that if I don’t look at him, he is not buying that I’m listening*

Jace:  momma, when we get….

Walker:  ARE WE THERE YET?

Jace:  HEY, I WUZ TAWKIN AND YOU INNA

RUPPED ME

Wayne and I almost lost our cool. I am not kidding, both of us had our mouths covered so that laughter wouldn’t just burst out. 

After composing myself, I say it again:  Yes, Jace, what did you want?

Jace:  I wuz tryin’ a tawk ta you and…..

Walker: I did not…

Jace:  yes you did, you inna rupped me

Walker:  nuh uh

Jace:  yes you did, I wuz tryin’ a tawk da momma and you …

Walker:  burst into tears…

Jace:  you yelled at me

Walker:  *crying* no I didn’t yell

Now, I know that some of this is normal sibling banter especially after being cooped up in the car for oh, say 4 hours but we do try our best to keep them from interrupting and both boys are really good about saying “excuse me” if we are talking to an adult other than each other.  The problem is they just keep saying it over and over until we listen to them anyway, but it is a work in progress.

So, back to the attitude.  I wrote all that to write this………indulge me here, am I right or wrong that his attitude shapes their attitude?

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Ok, I may take a bashing for this and there is no scientific research to back up my opinion, it is just my opinion.  I hope to get some public school teachers in on the conversation regardless of whether they agree with me nor not.  But, either way, here goes.

I hate homework.  Study time is different.  Homework is for the birds.  In my area, children from the first grade through the eighth grade generally bring home close to 2 hours of homework.  I call bullsh!t on that one. 

I have already said that I didn’t have that much homework.  One reason was because teachers simply didn’t give as much when I was in elementary school.  Secondly, I rode the bus and didn’t like lugging those books around so I would work on it all day during any free time I could find. 

High school students do not generally have as much homework.  By that time, the kids are basically sent home with the expectation of studying.  Which I am in full agreement with;  studying is the way to learn in my opinion.

I know that teachers who give a lot of homework have their reasons.  One being that they simply don’t have time to cover everything they need to cover during class time. (And that leaves the child to learn on their own at home with homework, their parents to teach them the material, or the parents doing the material for them.) The other being that they believe repetition will increase a child’s knowledge thus the words homework and studying are the same to these teachers..

Not me, I still won’t buy into it. 

My belief is this, children get 30 minutes of physical education time during the day.  The rest of the day they are expected to sit in a chair in a room and do work.  So, when they get home, they need time to run and get some exercise. 

Doesn’t that sound like what you have interpreted people all over the world to be preaching these days?  Exercise.  But, our children go to school at 8 AM, come home at 3PM, do homework til 5:30 PM, have dinner at 6 PM, get a bath and do what playing they are going to do by bedtime at 8:00 PM, 8:30 PM, 9:00 PM.  And, I also think children through the eighth grade should be in bed by 9:00 PM if they have to get up and get to school by 8:00 AM in the morning.  (That’s a post for another day - sleep deprivation kills - you know you’ll be looking for that post don’t you?)

So, in my opinion, spelling words should be sent home to study, science and social study facts sent home to study, math problems should not be sent home, math facts?  Yes, math problems? No.

Spelling and vocabulary words can be studied alone or with a parent or sibling can help.  Same thing for science and social studies facts.  And, honestly, the same goes for math facts.

But…stay with me before you raise your hand to slap me. 

Teachers (and realize I’m talking about public/private teachers in this post mostly) do not realize that many many parents cannot help their child do their homework.  Notice I said help, not do it for them (which happens and is a post for another day and a personal pet-peeve that I’ve already mentioned.)

Because of the advanced nature of the curriculums and courses of study, many parents simply don’t have the education to help their children with math after the second grade or so.  And………..the ones that do, may or may not have the ability to TEACH!  After all, people who teach have a talent, some have been formally trained at a university but others are simply natural teachers. 

So, when a teacher sends home math problems or science experiment projects, many parents can’t teach their child how to do the work.  So, any problem solving, any reading through materials and gathering information, any kind of homework of that nature is useless to a child who hasn’t grasped the concept at school and mom and dad either don’t have the ability to help or don’t have the ability to teach.

So, there, I’ve said it.  I don’t like homework.  I dread the day that my child has much homework because my husband is a horrible teacher.  He is too smart and even if he is trying to walk me through something, he skips steps and I have to get him to back up and start over.  I think I can teach some things but the parent/child relationship is a tough one and I don’t know that my children or myself will ever be able to conquer that.

My father was a teacher.  He was very good at it too.  You don’t teach 19 years if you are bad.  He could not help me with my homework or studying because we would end up in an argument.  He taught many life lessons, many many life lessons.  He taught me many algebra lessons through the daily conversations of life.  He taught me many vocabulary words.  You get the picture.  But, the two of us could not sit down at the table with the intention of him teaching me something.

When I taught Earth and Life Science, I always sent study facts home, I rarely sent homework home.  I just don’t like it.  Period.

Discuss.

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