Mom Is Teaching

You folks here have never failed me.  And, so I ask you the following question in hopes of gaining some in sight into how others handle the same issues.  Or how you would if it were an issue.

My oldest son is very gentle and rarely fights back when his younger brother is mean to him.  He desires to be liked and does as much as he can to play up to everyone.  He wants everyone to like him and he is willing to do whatever he has to in order to be special.

But, the younger child….has a temper that cannot match that of anyone I know.  My husband is quiet, humble and rarely raises his voice.  And, while I am loud and rambuctious, I am not mean.  I want to be liked and I do try to be funny in order to gain attention.

But, Jace, the four-year-old is quite the firecracker.  He gets in trouble for something relatively minor but then when he is admonished for him, he turns into a wild animal.  He goes to his room as he is instructed but within seconds of his arriving in his room, it’s not uncommon to hear him hitting the wall or throwing toys. 

He has been in therapy and to be honest, he isn’t near as bad as he once was so hpefully he will outgrow it but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a bit concerned.

So, how do you handle angry children?  Not a child in trouble, not the actual act of discipline but the anger that he shows after getting in trouble, how or what would you do?  Help me please you are the experts I trust most.

Your kids are bouncing off the walls.  They are outside, inside, hungry, thirsty, need a toy, need to rest and they are just running around like a herd of wild Indians. 

We aren’t technically Indians but you get the picture right.  I am not dummy, I know that research says the color of a babies room and the color of the children’s rooms and the daycare was painted with bright beautiful colors and the kids loved it. 

So, moving on, there’s a commercial on late night TV here for some brand of paint.  It starts out with 2 kids running inside their house, slamming the front door and headed up a large set of steps at warp speed.

The next thing you see is a woman painting a wall, a really not-so-pretty green wall.  She looks at her husband and make some kind of statement about painting the entire house that color because of the the transformation in the children

Camera pans around and you see those same to children sitting individually in these little kids chairs and they are holding these some pretty big thick books and are supposedly reading.

Now, if I could get my kids to sit still and be calm when they read?  That’s be a good deal.  But, not my wild ones, they want to bring 30 books out at a time…I’m certain it is a plot against me.

So, if your kids are acting up, my all means, go paint the inside of your house kiwi-green.  Yea, nasty eh?

You know, I was bullied in elementary and junior high school.  First of all I transferred from a school where my entire family had gone to a new place at the beginning of the third grade.  And, the new school was laden with people were terribly religious in nature and since my parents were divorced, I was an outsider. 

I’d like to think that I wasn’t bullied because of that but I heard the other kids talk, I heard the whispers, I heard it all.  And, then, the worst part of it is that I would cry about it, at school, in front of everyone.  So, then, the kids knew they had a hold on me and control me.  It wasn’t pretty.

When I moved on to high school, I went to a high school that wasn’t with the same kids.  And, it was the smartest move I had ever made.  I got a fresh start basically and in a bigger community where divorce wasn’t seen as such a horrible part of one’s family life.

I was hospitalized 3 times from the fifth to eighth grade and the only diagnosis that they doctor’s could come up with was “nervous stomach”.  And, that basically came down to the bully factor.  My mom refused to see it and always led me to believe that if others were mistreating me, it was because of something I did.  I knew then just as I do now that this wasn’t the case.

So, what do you think?  Those of you who still have kid in public schools, is bullying a big deal there?  How would you or do you handle it with your own children?  What would you do if your kid was the Bully?

Here’s the comment I left regarding the post here and here that originated on Twittermoms.

I’ll be the lone dissenting voice in this one. This has been an issue for several years across the country as schools start to regulate such activities as playing tag. Now, here’s where my opinion is very different than most of you.
Instead of lobbying for the children to be able to "play tag" or whatever during recess, put your time and effort into returning physical education classes to your school. And, again, I’m not talking about recess. In my opinion, as an educated physical educator and proponent of actual physical education classes and not "free play" or "recess", recess has absolutely no place in our schools.
But, as someone mentioned, obesity is at an all time high in children. The answer is not recess and playing tag. The answer is teaching the children the joys of physical activity. Exposing them to different types of physical activity so that they learn to enjoy it and get lifetime enjoyment out of it.
And, as for the candy issue, I had to go back and read the comments here a couple of times. I just fought my school and ended up at the school board over the issue of distributing candy to the students. The Child Nutrition Program which regulates the food programs in schools and daycares strictly states that school authorities are not to sell or give food of non-nutritional value to the children.
My kindergarteners’ teacher started about 3 weeks ago giving the students candy every day as a reward. I let it slide at first because I wanted someone else to step up and complain first. However, as most all the parents know, once a parent speaks up and goes against the norm, their own child is the one who totes the brunt of the anger of the administration. (Which is an entirely different topic in its own right)
I’ve only seen the 2 people here make a statement about this candy being a non-issue. Everyone on my Mom is Teaching blog as well as my personal blog agreed with me that it was number one, against the wellness policy, number 2 it is against the Child Nutrition policy and finally, it’s just good common sense to me that children have no business eating candy every day.
There’s research (and if someone wants it, I’ll definitely look it up) that states that rewarding children for behaviors that are normal expectations sets your child up to have an addictive personality. I see absolutely no reason to reward my child for putting his own clothes in the laundry hamper. Where else should I expect him to put them? And, I’m not giving him a candy or a sticker or anything else for doing it.
And, with that, he is expected to behave according to general etiquette and society norms while in school and I do not want him rewarded because of good behavior. I understand that negativity breeds negativity. That doesn’t mean that a child who is being disruptive shouldn’t be punished but there has to be some equalization in making sure you the children understand that actions have reactions. There are other ways to instill positive re-enforcement and elicit proper behavior than offering up a treat for good behavior.
Now, coming from someone whose son sits at a table alone because he talks too much, you might think I’d see this differently. But, the fact of the matter is, he has to learn when it is appropriate to talk and when it isn’t. His teacher has done a wonderful job of letting him work his way back to sitting with the group. So, by the time Christmas Break rolled around, he was sitting with his classmates. That was the reward not candy. The punishment was sitting alone.
Now, he has been sitting alone again since we returned to school from Christmas Break but his teacher is good, she works with him and she helps him. But, at no time do I ever want to see my son given a piece of candy as a treat for not talking in class when that is the expected behavior in the first place.
Now, turn all that around, when kids do get in trouble often, they are made to sit out of physical education class. This hasn’t happened to my son (although it is a regular strategy used at my son’s school) or you can rest assured, I would be standing in the school hallway right now fighting this issue. Why in the world would you punish an over-active child by forcing them to sit still longer than they are already expected to sit.
And, to round that all up into one big summary, don’t sit and stir about the loss of recess, find a way to get your child back in a physical education class at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. And, I don’t buy for one minute that there isn’t enough money to fund this. The fact oft he matter is, can we afford not to do this? Can we afford the health care bills of these children as they grow into obese adults.
And, like I said, I am shocked that any parent would condone giving a child candy as a reward. I don’t just say what I say and then treat my children differently about this issue. The younger grades are allowed to have someone bring in party stuff on their birthday during snack time. And, the week of my son’s birthday, there were also 2 other children having birthdays. I wrote a note to the school asking that the teacher contact the other two parenst and that instead of filling these kids with birthday cake 3 times in one week, we should get together and have one party.
The teacher disagreed and one of the parents never asked to bring snack anyway. But, they still ended up with a huge amount of birthday cake 2 times in one week. And, if the kids were like mine, they had birthday cake at home the night of their actual birthday plus they probably had a party the weekend before or after their birthday. And, considering that the party’s consisted of the same kids that are in the kindergarten class at school, do you realize what kind of sugar over-load we are talking about here.
With that, we give them candy and then wonder why they can’t sit still? Again, I’m not a supporter of recess because there are so many bad aspects of recess that can be corrected and not become a problem if the children are in a properly taught physical education class. So, why in the world would we then take that active time away from them when they are already tired of sitting still in the first place.
You are welcome to visit my Mom is Teaching blog and/or my personal blog and read what others have to say because all of the opinions here with the exception of one or two are in complete contrast to other educators and homeschoolers.

So, what do you think?

A continuation from here..

I’d be upset too. I would definitely sign it! They need to get out their energy and run. Soon they’ll be eliminating recess all together

Ok, in most places recess has already been eliminated, and physical education is on its way out too, but playing tag is not the answer.

I completely back your thinking, Judi. Phys. Ed programs are also being cut in many schools in the U.S.

So, why not fight to get your Physical Education classes back and get them a teacher who is there to teach P.E. not coach high school football?

There are also schools around here that have implemented "nutrition boards" and won’t let kids eat things in class they deem unhealthy, teachers can’t even give out a piece of candy to their kids anymore, I’m not joking! All of this sends a terrible message to kids if you ask me.

I can’t even respond to this.  How can not giving candy to the children be a bad thing?  I’m confused for real.  A parent that’s upset because the school won’t give their child candy?  Did I read that right? 

I work at a elementary school. Although this sounds cruel to ban tag, unless you have actually been on recess duty to watch the kids play you should probably not make judgments on why schools ban tag. We have tried everything imaginable to make tag safe two finger touch rules, no tripping, no kicking, no pulling, no swinging your coats at people to tag them… If you get my drift we had to make so many rules it was crazy. The game was still played children still were getting hurt. Our first responsibility is to keep your children safe at school. Believe me if we could have allowed tag we would have. It is not played safely and puts children at risk. Please see this from the side of the schools. We are caught between a rock and a hard place. Keep your children safe…let the kids have fun. If you have any great solutions I am all ears.

Ahhhh this is much better to me…

Tag is a great way to release some energy!!

Actually no, tag is not a great way, physical education classes taught by physical education teachers is a great way to release energy.

Part of the problem is that the children of today are not being raised to have respect for other people, whether it is other children or adults. Many of them lack an understanding of ‘feeling’ for other people and thinking, ‘If someone did that to me, it would hurt, so I shouldn’t do that to someone else.’ They see so much violence in even the cartoons they watch that they think violence and foul language are the norm. They are not being taught.

This is exactly the problem.  This is one of my main focuses on this website…..without a doubt, this is a big deal to me, way more of a big deal that my child not being able to play tag during recess.

With that, I’ll save my own response for Part Three

I’ve covered this issue before but with the candy saga as of late, I thought it would be a good time to re-visit the issue.  Especially when I read this post on TwitterMoms.  I am quoting the whole thing here because some of you may not be members of Twittermoms and may not be able to see the post.  Here it is:

I couldn’t believe my ears when my son told me that no longer are kids allowed to play tag during recess at his school! No More TAG? Are they nuts? I asked him why? His answer, he was told by the yard coach it was due to possible lawsuits if a kid gets injured. I was, shall we say, not too happy!
Hey, I understand about lawsuits. (I AM from L.A., for heavens sake!) But to take away the one playground game that’s been around ever since kids were in school because some kid might fall and get hurt and…gasp…sue the school?
I then asked my son, well, aren’t you allowed to play on the monkey bars? Aren’t they just as dangerous if not more so? He told me that they were only allowed to swing on the bar, but they weren’t allowed to climb on the bars. So then I asked him, “What do you do at recess”. His answer: “Well mom, there isn’t much we’re allowed to do, so we just sit and talk”.
Recess should be for the kids to get their pent up energy out. To be able to run around, play tag, jump on the jungle gym, and yes..if they would like to sit and talk that too. I’m sorry, but to take tag away? Crazy.
So here’s what I’m thinking, the only way to get the game of tag back into the school yards where it belongs is to have every parent sign a waiver before the beginning of the school year. I’d sign on!
Thoughts?
Judi
http://www.lipsticknlaundry.com/

 

Believe it or not, most people commenting supported her thoughts and many even mentioned candy.  And, well, we all know where I stand on the candy issues.  Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from the comments section:

Wait, I’m saving that for Part Two, this is too good to put all in one place.

Let me first start by clarifying a really silly issue.  As it was brought to my attention tonight, the thought of “find another doctor” simply isn’t really a simple issue for us.  I don’t know if I have mentioned this over here really but I have a broken ankle and a torn ligament.  I did this about 4 weeks ago.  I’ve been in a cast for four weeks and as it appears, I have at least 4 more to go.  I’ve been discussing it a lot on twitter and someone asked me today why didn’t I just change doctors.  That’s when I realized that most of you probably don’t realize a couple of things.

First of all, we live in the deep woods of no where Alabama.  So, when we choose a doctor, we choose one we want.  Now, I know that many people don’t have this liberty because they have to have referrals from primary care physicians or they don’t have insurance at all.  So, when I didn’t like what my doctor had to say about my foot, changing doctors was easily an option.  IF and I say that with much trepidation because I know so many people that have no insurance at all, but, IF I decide I want to change doctors….I’m looking at a 90 mile one way drive.

Yes, you read that correctly, 90 miles one way.  So, I choose doctors that are close to me.  I choose doctors I like and I generally choose doctors that come to a small town that’s really out of my way but has a lot of doctors that come from Birmingham, Alabama one day a week or something.  So, yes I can be picky because I don’t need referrals and all that jazz, but my options…they are terribly limited. 

So, with that, my son and I got out of bed at the ungodly (for us anyway) hour of 6 AM this morning, left home at 6:30 and barely made it to his 8:00 AM appointment.  Now, I’ve already been to this office once alone to do the “adult intake” so that the doctor and therapist would be familiar with the issues with Jace prior to our “real appointment” and they also don’t like for the mom to talk about the child too much in front of the child. 

Now, there are no child psychiatrist closer to me.  There are none even in the town that’s closer and more convenient than the one I normally choose.  Our options are limited.  If I research really hard, I can find one more clinic in Birmingham that takes children.  And, that particular clinic is the only one that takes Medicaid so you can imagine the wait time involved.  I mean, we waited 6 weeks almost for this appointment where we are.  With only one Medicaid clinic in the entire North section of Alabama, yea, the wait would be much worse.

Where am I going with this?  I am explaining to you that I didn’t just give up on dealing with my son and jump straight to the doctor and ask for help.  We have worked with this kid a lot.  We have a lot of time invested strictly in the potty training issues.  But the anger issues, we basically thought it was just that he was stubborn.  And, possibly that is the case, but I didn’t run to the doctor just because he was a bit defiant. 

All that to say, I certainly don’t wish to drive 90 miles, one way, at 6:30 AM so someone else can potty train my son or teach him not to throw chairs at me.  I don’t normally respond to negative comments but I did want to make it clear that this wasn’t an issue where we just jumped in the car and run to the doctor because we didn’t know what to do or have no backbone. 

Trust me when I tell you we have backbone.  I am a former school teacher.  My husband was raised by ill-intentioned grandparents and he is very strict with our children.  And, by most of my family’s standards, our kids walk a straight line.  So, with that, I’m going to assume that you all know and understand that “going to the doctor” was not meant to be a quick fix for us.  We will go to therapy once a week, 90 miles one way, for as long as it takes. 

Now, that means that I also have to make arrangements for my other son to get to school or to get home one.  And, with my mom in Florida, that’s no small feat.  And, with that, I’m leaving this subject be.

Now, if you can tolerate much more of this, I’ll get to the doctor’s visit in a few hours….whew!  That was painful to write.  I am not a natural at confrontation and defense…I don’t like it, but I felt like it was necessary.  I have so many great readers and commenters that I really shouldn’t let one bad apple upset me, but ………

I had just posted on my personal blog about how I received the ultimate compliment in a comment and then this bad apple came through my email.  Either way, I’m good…now. 

*If it’s ok for me to add, all that doctor running, a trip to t-ball practice, dinner and all that jazz and it’s midnight and I’m up twittering and writing blog posts.  Not because anyone makes me, but because I choose to.  I just normally choose to do it during the day but today…..today I drove 90 miles to the doctor…90 miles one way…I don’t want you to forget that part, lol**

But, he is cute, eh?

How would you go about stopping the foul language from exiting your 3 year old grandsons mouth, even if he did learn the words from you?  Well, naturally you would find a way.  We had a problem about 2 years ago with Walker saying “stemit” which really meant “damnit” he just couldn’t say it plainly. 

I warned him and then I put liquid soap in his mouth and rinsed it out.  And, we rinsed and we rinsed and we rinsed.  And we rinsed some more.  Finally, we had all that soap out of there and guess what he hasn’t uttered another word that we have heard since then.

My cousin’s son is 3, and the language in their house is more foul than just “stemit” or “damnit”.  And, so, as the 3 year old burst into a string of sailor like adjectives, his grandmother poured a glass of buttermilk and then proceeded to pour it in his mouth.  Supposedly, no more potty mouth.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to not speak those words in front of your kid?  Probably but, “damnit” is what I say when things don’t go my way, but the words that other kid was using….erm no, not in front of my kids.

How do you handle it?

Parenting Magazine is my favorite magazine one month and my most loathed one the next. Sometimes it all seems so surreal and it is no wonder parents the world over are feeling guilty about not being able to create the most beautiful holiday decorations (see paper bag pumpkin painting).

But, this month’s edition or maybe I should look at it, it is the November 2008 edition, has a really nice article in it regarding ADHD.  I’m not going to get in trouble for copyright laws and the such here but here’s the few sentences in this article that made me go, “oh, so there are folks out there who have their head on straight about this issue”:

“Not all kids with ADHD are constantly on he go.

Something else may cause ADHD-like symptoms.

Many kids who could benefit from medication don’t.

But Medication isn’t the only answer.

Kids with ADHD are accident prone.”

Of course, the article said way more and I tend to think, again my opinion here, but I tend to think that more kids are medicated than need to be but I have been witness first hand to certain medications working. 

I just wanted to point out two really important issues, the one that says, “something else may cause ADHD-like symptoms” and “kids with ADHD are accident prone”.

Because unless you’ve been in a hole somewhere, you’ve probably noticed those ADHD kids falling, breaking bones, tripping, etc.  And, unless you’ve been in an even deeper hole, you know that many foods and additives can cause so many ADHD-like symptoms that it isn’t even funny.

And, finally, I’m glad to see that they make a point to say, “BUT  MEDICATION ISN’T THE ONLY ANSWER”. 

What do you think?

Feingold.org that is?  Do you know them?  Chances are you either already know about the Feingold diet because you have a child that has showed marked improvements with the diet or you are looking for this kind of information.  It very well may not be for a child of your own, a friend, a sibling, yourself?

Either way, when I started discussing the thoughts and ideas of ADD and ADHD in regards to my son, Jane Faus contacted me immediately.  She then sent me a plethora of information in the form of books and leaflets and had directed me to navigating on the Feingold site.  Here’s a few quotes from some of our emails that I found interesting when I went back to look at them and pass along the information. 

Here’s a few of my comments regarding the big food list entitled “Make the Switch from Fake to Food”.  She is commenting on foods I specifically mention.

Kool-Aid worries me, but not nearly as much as Crystal Light.  The aspartame in it has cause more reports of serious health problems than any additive in history (so that includes the Diet Coke).   If you want to learn more, do a search for Cori Brackett and her film “Sweet Remedy”.  Cori was diagnosed with MS and was confined to a wheelchair.  After she ditched the aspartame she recovered…she was one of the lucky ones.  

Actually, I never buy Crystal Light, so I can’t say for sure if it still has aspartame in it.  If so, then you are swallowing a combination of aspartame and dye.  Research at the University of Liverpool in England found that each of these additives damaged nerve cells, but when they were combined the damage was 7-fold.   The research only looked at aspartame + one dye.  I have no idea of the potential damage if you consume several different dyes, plus artificial flavor. 

Sundrops are similar to M&Ms but are made with all natural ingredients.  There’s a Whole Foods Market in Birmingham….I don’t know how often you travel there, but they have all kinds of yummy, wholesome treats.   Most new, well-stocked supermarkets now carry a good selection of natural foods.

You can also order these things online.

Froot Loops - Fruity Pebbles, I assume it is the same thing

Yes, just as bad.  This is not cereal, it’s candy.  There are some naturally colored cereals that are similar, but they still have a lot of sugar.  We aren’t anti-sugar, but you need more than that to carry you through the morning.

Hawaiin Punch - we don’t this for home, but Wayne gets it frequently for himself

This really should not be thought of as a juice.  It’s the stuff we once used, that caused so many problems for our family.   Minute Maid fruit punch would be good.  I like to mix Welsh’s pure grape juice with either plain or sparkling water and lots of ice.  It’s refreshing and it’s real food.

Jelly Beans - Even Jelly Belly now has a natural option….as do several other companies.  This is another one of Wayne’s favorites.

Hershey Choco Bar - Ghirardelli’s tastes better.  Even sweetened baking chocolate is readily available.  I’m the chocolate-aholic in the family.

Ritz Crackers - and here I thought these things were so innocent

They aren’t nearly as worrisome as the other things (above).

There’s just a few foods to think about and you can check out the site for more helpful information.  There’s so much more to it than just the foods I mentioned above, those just happen to be the foods in our house that are so deadly.

Ready or not, here comes Halloween!

It’s fun to plan with your kids about what costumes they will be wearing this Halloween, but remember last year, when the fun wore off and your kids were bouncing all over the living room?

Most parents know that those bags of “loot” their children bring home are somehow linked to the bouncy days that follow. And many teachers will tell you that the day after Halloween is the wildest day of the year. (Perhaps this is why some schools schedule a “teacher’s workday for November 1^st.)

It’s typical to blame all that “sugar” the kids bring home for the overactivity that follows, but take a close look at those little wrappers, find the list of ingredients and see if they actually contain any sugar. Chances are, they are sweetened with corn syrup, especially high fructose corn syrup; few highly processed foods still use actual sugar. But as unhealthy as it is, even the high fructose corn syrup is not the likely cause.

Look at the labels again. Do you see the name of a color, followed by a number? Is there Red 40 or Yellow 5 or Blue 1, etc? These are the most likely culprits affecting your kids, not the sugar. If the candy also has aspartame (synthetic sweetener) or vanillin (the name for fake vanilla) they could be to blame as well.

So what is all this stuff? Red 40, etc., are names for artificial food colorings. They enable food companies to create things that appear to be made from food – but without having to use actual food. Food is expensive and chemical additives are cheap; need I say more?

Most of the food dyes used in the United States start out in petroleum refineries in China. They are “certified” which means that they are not supposed to have more than the allowed amounts of lead, mercury, arsenic and other toxins. You won’t see any mention of petroleum on the label, just the color and number following it. At one time there were dozens of dyes used in foods, but as their dangers became known, most of them were gradually banned from use in food, and now only a few survivors remain.

Those stubborn survivors have been found to cause many serious health problems, as well as to disrupt a child’s ability to behave, focus and learn. The most recent study, funded by the British government, found that a small amount of food dye and one preservative brought on symptoms of ADHD in the general population of children…not only those who had previously been diagnosed. As a result, parents in the UK are demanding, and getting foods that are dyed and flavored with natural ingredients. Major candy companies are offering natural versions of their products in Britain, but here in the US they continue to use the chemical additives.

Things are changing throughout Europe. The European Union has determined that foods which contain petroleum-based dyes will be required to carry warning labels stating that the additives can have an adverse effect on activity and attention in children.

The non-profit Feingold Association of the US has some suggestions for October 31^st, when the goblins come to your door. Check out the options at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. You should be able to find candies of all types that are naturally colored and flavored, and possibly candy that is sweetened with sugar instead of corn syrup.

You will probably be able to find Pearson’s Mint Patties at Wal-Mart. This is a small individually wrapped mint patty with a chocolate coating; it is an inexpensive candy with natural ingredients. Palmer Chocolates makes both natural and artificially-flavored chocolates, so check the ingredient labels carefully to avoid “vanillin” (fake vanilla).

Don’t overlook trinkets, balloons and stickers as an alternative to candy for the little ones. Their dentists will thank you.

When you take your kids out, be sure they have had a good meal so they aren’t hungry.

After the loot is collected, some families go through it and toss out the worst offenders. Others swap natural candies for the contraband; natural candies are now available in the natural food sections of most supermarkets. Some children swap the bag of loot for a desirable toy. And then there’s always the popular practice of buying the candy back from your kids. Mine still went out trick-or-treating even after they were too old to do so. They knew it wasn’t cool, but the income was good.

Check out http://www.feingold.org for more hints on how to be sure that Halloween doesn’t turn your children into monsters.

Jane Hersey

National Director

Feingold Association of the US

author of Why Can’t My Child Behave?

and Healthier Food for Busy People.

How many of you remember me discussing the silent lunch ordeal?  It’s here if you wanna read it.  I have to add what happened after the fact.  I told his teacher on Friday morning that he was spanked for getting in trouble.

She, in turn, tells me that Ditto Boy was being sincere.  He did not understand what had happened.  This means he was punished and he was clueless.  Now, I know that’s unacceptable if you are an adult, but I feel like total crap now. 

See, he told me he didn’t know it was silent lunch.  And, I called him on it assuring him that his teacher was very clear when it was silent lunch and when it wasn’t.  I asked him if he wanted me to turn around and go back to the school to talk to her.  And, he got upset and said no.

I thought that was truly an indication that he was trying to get out of more punishment.  When, in fact, he was right. On Friday when I picked him up (most everyone checked out early to go to the local football teams homecoming parade), she told me that she talked to him about it and that he really was confused.

Apparently I was too.  The entire class did not have silent lunch, but because Walker and another little boy were too loud, they were moved to seats away from one another and given silent lunch.  However, they didn’t comply with the rule at that point.  (This is where his teacher assures me that he did not know he was on silent lunch, he just thought he was suppose to be moving away from his friend). 

And, since he did continue to talk, he lost his 15 minutes of PE.  And, he lost 30 minutes of play time at McD’s with his brother AND he got a spanking.  Now, tell me I don’t deserve the Mother of the Year award!  Bah!

I’m going to be brief mainly because I’m going to discuss this in more detail on my Mental and Emotional Health blog and I did just cross-post a big one so, no need in getting in trouble over multiple content.

For now, my last thoughts on Part One of TCAH go like this:

• do you think it is coincidence that the academic pressures increased and now we have more children with mental health issues?
• do you think that having a child move rapidly from one unrelated subject to the next makes learning more difficult?

Of course it isn’t coincidence and of course it is difficult.  And, then we want to go and blame it on the child when we, as adults, should know better, right?

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My last parting thought goes like this (just for Part One mind you),

“…..other kids drive themselves - but that doesn’t mean they’re enjoying the learning process.  “All my daughter cares about is her grades….for her, it’s not ‘this new Greek unit is really interesting.  It’s all about the number of points she can get.  She just crams the information, then drops it like a stone as soon as the test is finished.  She isn’t having fun, so good grades are her only reward.  I’m worried it won’t be enough.”

Let me say that that person being interviewed in that last paragraph could have been written by either of my parents.  And, you know, what, I’m living proof that the answer to her fear that “it won’t be enough” is that no, it won’t, it simply won’t be enough.  One day, information will need to be retained…and cramming and forgetting won’t work.

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With that, I’m stepping off my soapbox and I’m going to learn and hopefully teach you a few methods on how to make some of this stuff go away!

And, here all this time, I thought we were suppose to be encouraging our children to get more exercise and what happens when an extremely active kid gets in trouble for being extremely active?  We tell him he has to sit out half of his running, ripping, hollering, having-a-good time class (PE).

Well, hells bells, how much sense does that make?  I’m so disgusted.

I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time letting go of this.  Honestly, I don’t like to cross post but this is hitting me right in the gut, that would be the 200 pound gut that I have even though I have a degree in physical education.  And, what difference does it make how smart you are and how fat you are if you happen to be fairly active, you are gonna be sitting out on the most important class of your elementary school years…PHYSICAL EDUCATION.  Do the words “social skills” ring a bell to anyone?

And, you know what, there aren’t a lot of ‘good’ physical education programs around anymore.  Because when funds were cut, teachers were cut and that’s the first ones to go.  So, the classroom teacher, who happens to just hate the outdoors is suppose to taking them out for “recess” for 10 minutes each day.  BOLONY.

Recess is a piece of crap and I happen to believe that the physical education teachers at my son’s school are doing a good job and have in the past…with the exception of them letting the elementary teachers bully them into allowing children to be punished by missing PE.

All I can say, is this is one mama bear that is simply not happy.  And, if you can’t tell from the dialog in this post that I am not unhappy, you need help.  I am almost as pissed off about this as I am about the status of homework.

I don’t want to be some radical mother-freak who flips her lid every time something happens at school concerning my child.  I don’t want to be that parent that the administrators can’t stand to talk to, but doggone it, do your job, do it right.

And, you know what, I can say that, I have a degree in physical education and I taught in 3 very good programs, one of which I had to build my freakin’ self from the ground up so I know what good quality physical education is about so when I get up in your face about it, don’t get pissed and tell me I don’t understand because OH YES INDEED I DO UNDERSTAND. (Officially the longest run on sentence in the blogosphere) In this one, I understand.  I know much more than I ever let on. 

I would like to maintain my dignity, my professionalism and my sense of compassion here but this issue pissed me off when I saw it on the “Discipline List” at orientation.  It didn’t take me this long to get mad about it.  I’m not simply fired up because it was my child.  I’m fired up because it is many children every day. 

And, here’s one more piece of my mind because I’m obviously leaving it all here for you……if you are taking part of my child’s whopping 30 minutes a day that he has to play and be rowdy, then I’ll be damned if you are sending homework home with him and expecting me to sit him down.  I’ll tell you right here and right now, I’ll politely send a note back that says,

“We did not do our homework.  Unfortunately I understand that Susie missed part of her physical education time because she was misbehaving.  If she is misbehaving, please deal with it in another manner (or even call me for assistance if you need to).  Therefore, we will not be doing this homework because we are out playing in the yard making up for missed PE time.  Obviously if she missed some time out of that class, she needs to make that up and in my opinion, we will need to get that make-up work completed first.  See you at the playground.”

Ok, shutting up now before I beat the keys on this keyboard slap to death.

I’d have to dig deep into my archives on my personal blog to find some stories and how they relate to sleep…and wait, I’ll just go do that….

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ok, here

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here

and….well I’m too lazy to keep searching, but I did find this and this 

so the following should come as no surprise to you…

 

“Children between the ages of five and twelve need 10 to 11 hours of sleep each night, teens need 9.25 hours and as any parents know, many kids need more.”

But a study by the National Sleep Foundation’s 2004 Sleep in America Poll, many kids are seriously sleep deprived.

On a personal note, for the last few weeks, my children have played hard, Walker at school then outdoors after school and Jace has been running and ripping like wild all day, napping some days (which he needs) and not napping others.  And, when bed time arrives, they give us the usual rift raft about “I want to play this game or that game or read one more book” but once we get them in bed and tucked in, they are out like lights.  I mean OUT LIKE LIGHTS.

My oldest son, Walker, doesn’t require as much sleep as his brother.  He is definitely his father’s child in that respect.  Even as a baby he didn’t need as much sleep.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he gets by on less than 9 hours, but he can on an occasion swing an 8 hour night as long as he isn’t doing it night after night.

Jace however is his mothers son for real.  He requires a lot of sleep.  He doesn’t even argue about naps, he will be 4 in November and when I say nap time, he runs and gets in my bed, blink, blink…sleep.  At night, he would do best if he could sleep 10 or 11 hours.  He doesn’t always get it but when he doesn’t, he will sleep 3 hours during his nap. 

People, sleep deprivation will kill you.  Knowing that, why would you put that kind of pressure on a child? 

I don’t get it.  Do you?

Here’s another sleep story!