Mom Is Teaching

I want to share this email that I sent to someone who was commenting on my lack of discipline and my thoughts that my lack of discipline would make me a bad homeschooling parent.

The only reason I’m posting it is because it seems that now, every time I mention that I have a child that is "4.1 years old and not potty trained", I receive a plethora of advice.  And, it isn’t that I don’t want the advice.  That’s why I want to share this email.  Before you give advice, see if your suggestion is already listed here…chances are….it most definitely has…..so here goes…

I love it, and we are going to have to do something with just the two of us.  When my mom is home and watching him, she apparently lets him eat all doggone day.  I don’t know but I plan to ask because he is making me nutso.  She would watch him so I could blog.  With her gone……I’ve been blogging from like 8 at night til 2 in the morning and then when it was time to get up and moving this morning, I just didn’t have it in me.  The clock sounded at 6:45 but it was raining really hard and I just got back in bed.  Next thing I know, the kindergartener is screaming, it’s 7:15 and I am going to be late for school, get up mommy, get up.  I know, sounds like it is backwards, but hey, I’ve been up late.  During the holidays that wasn’t a problem because my husband was off.  But now, man it is killing me, as a matter of fact, we are about to nap whether the 4.1 year old who is not potty trained likes it or not.
My mom left on the 14th, we all had a stomach bug that next week which was the last week of school with my husband being the last to get it on the 19th which was his last day of school.  So, while I puked all week and stayed with the youngest who was puking, he handled the "get up and get the kid to school" and the "get to school and pick him up on time" while me and the little one did nothing.  But now, omg.
As for his potty training.  I don’t discuss it anymore.  We went to the doctor.  I only went to the doctor because "I" felt there might be an issue.  People have been pushing me for a year to take him.  I would hire teachers at the daycare who would say, "I have 4 boys at home, I can potty train him" and about 2 months later, they would say, "have you considered taking him to the doctor".

 

Well, we’ve tried all the tactics that every single person in the world has recommended.  He picked out some cool underwear about 9 months ago, they sit on top of the fridge, they are suppose to taunt him into going to the potty.  He can have them when he has gone one week during the day and stayed dry.  They are growing dust bunnies.  I let him pick out a huge bag of candy.  I put a bowl on top of the fridge beside the candy (and the underwear) and told him that every time he used the potty, he could put one piece of candy in the bowl and after supper he could have ALL THE CANDY IN THE BOWL.  He has yet to get one piece.  We have a sticker chart we use that I started because they wouldn’t sleep in their beds.  It worked for that, but he has yet to earn one sticker for pottying….in 3 months…not one sticker. 
I bought some plastic pants like you put over cloth diapers.  But, that only works if you can get the underwear and plastic pants on him.  So, what does he do?  He sneaks every morning and gets him a pull-up while I"m getting other stuff ready for school and…….then he will sneak and change it without my knowing.  The only time we’ve been successful is when he has poopy pants and then we can force the underwear and plastic pants on him afterwards.   But as soon as we turn our backs, he has sneaked and put on a pull-up. 
So, common sense says, "don’t buy pull-ups" but even the 5 year old has to have them at night and if we don’t buy daytime pull-ups, the kid will sneak and put on night time ones to keep from wearing underwear.  He has no issues what so ever at bath time with taking his clothes off and running around naked yelling, "see my booty, my naked booty" (oops, that was my fault and my husband hates me for it) but he will not even get near the toilet.  My mom bought him a potty chair, he wears it on his head and absolutely refuses to even sit on it with his clothes on.  Our doctor suggested that last summer we should let him pee on the grass.  Ha, good one, he won’t let anyone near him to pull his pants down.
I’ve had one pet peeve as long as I have lived and that is "my kids just won’t let me do ________________" or "I can’t make him________________" because I mean really, he is 4 and I am 40, if I can’t MAKE him do something, I have bigger problems than I know. I’ve also had another philosophy for sometime and it is something that kept me sane when they were newborns, that is, "You can’t control when they eat (what yes, but when, nope), you can’t control when they sleep (or how long or how long it takes them to go to sleep) and you can’t control when they poop. 
And, in this case, I honestly can’t control when he pee’s either.  Kay at MyPreciousKids sent us some potty stickers and all kinds of recommendations.  Her ideas included all of the ones I’ve mentioned above.  My mom suggested that "30 years ago they would have spanked his bottom for wetting or pooping in his clothes" and I said, "yes but is that necessary?  I might have to eventually do that but right now, I’m not"  to which my mom replied, "well, that’s fine, but if you decide to do that, don’t do it in front of me"  UH?  Yea, talk about lack of support.
So, the one thing I would give anything for is some sleep and I have to get my routine fixed during the day so that I don’t have to blog until 2 AM or worse 3 AM because then I can’t get moving in the mornings.  And, by getting a schedule, that means I won’t be making 400 trips to the kitchen for crackers, cereal, cheese, juice, water, etc.
Ok, I’ve whined enough….just thought I’d put this out there for you…..it’s a case of "I can potty train that kid…." and then in a few months, the same person says, "Have you taken him to the doctor?"  Oh well, he most likely won’t go to school wearing a pull-up and he doesn’t go next year so…I’m hopeful.  OH yea, he wanted to play T-ball last spring and I told him no that baseball players don’t wear pull-ups.  He cried, he cried when Walker got all his baseball gear, hat, glove, shoes…but it wasn’t worth pottying over.  Then, he wanted to play basketball with him this winter, same story, second verse. 
I have yet to find a bribe that works.  If you knew how much this kid loves candy and chips, you would think that would be the key.  If you knew how much he loves balls and baseball in particular, that should have done it.  But nope, the kid is NOT getting near that porcelain tank…under any circumstances!

 

Now, if you have any other methods, please by all means hit me with them because I’m so over the big kid poop.